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==Introduction==
BUGGED


''D.W. watches TV in the living room and eats peanut butter from a jar.''
Written by: [[Jonathan Greenberg]]—Storyboard by: [[Robert Yap]]


'''Kids (on TV):''' “Mary Moo Cow, Mary Moo Cow, we love you, Mary Moo. When you’re with a Moo Cow, every day is super…”
=== # ===
''Arthur images how other people see him. To his mother he looks like a baby.''


''The ground shakes and Arthur comes in. He is as tall as the ceiling. He lies down on the couch which creaks under his weight.''
'''Mrs. Read:''' Sorry. I just can't help thinking of you as my little baby


'''Arthur:''' D.W., why am I so large today?
'''Arthur:''' Well, I'm not a baby, OK? I'm a...   ''He suddenly wears a tuxedo.''    …a waiter?
 
'''D.W.:''' Today, we're seeing things from my point of view. You always look huge to me.
 
'''Arthur:''' I do?
 
'''D.W.:''' Arthur, you're in third grade. You're a giant! Your gloves are as big as my shoes!
 
''Arthur dips his finger in the peanut butter.''
 
'''Arthur:''' It's weird that people see you differently to how you see yourself.
 
''His mom comes with a napkin.''
 
'''Mrs. Read:''' Oh, Arthur, you've got peanut butter all over your face.
 
''Arthur is suddenly about one year old and sitting in a high-chair.''
 
'''Arthur:''' Mom, cut it out!
 
'''Mrs. Read:''' Sorry, Arthur. I just can't help thinking of you as my little baby.
 
'''Arthur:''' Well, I'm not a baby, okay? I'm a... ''He suddenly wears a tuxedo.'' …a waiter?


''Pal is holding his empty dog dish in his mouth.''
''Pal is holding his empty dog dish in his mouth.''


'''Pal:''' (whines)
'''Pal: '''(whines)


'''Arthur:''' Our special today is kibble drenched in steak gravy with a side of liver snaps.
'''Arthur:''' Our special today is kibble drenched in steak gravy with a side of liver snaps.


'''Pal:''' Woof! Woof!
'''Pal: '''Woof! Woof!
 
'''Arthur:''' Aha. And how would you like that done?
 
'''Pal:''' Woof!
 
'''Arthur:''' Pal is a very demanding customer, but he is a good tipper.


''Pal drops a bone at his feet.''
'''Arthur:''' How would you like that done?


==Title Card: Brain Swims==
'''Pal: '''Woof!


''On the “Bionic Bunny Show”, Dr. Fowl has tied Bionic Bunny to a strange machine.''
'''Arthur:''' Pal is a very demanding customer, but he is a good tipper.    ''Pal drops a bone at his feet.''


'''Dr. Fowl:''' When the sand drains from the hourglass, the conveyor belt will carry you onto the bed of this catapult where rats will gnaw the rope on this pulley, releasing the weight and sending you into this vat of piping-hot scrambled eggs! (laughs madly)
=== # ===
''On the “Bionic Bunny Show” Dr. Fowl has tied Bionic Bunny to a strange machine.''


'''Bionic Bunny:''' You'll never get away with this, Dr Fowl! It’s pure chicken array!
'''Dr. Fowl:''' When the sand drains from the hourglass, the conveyor belt will carry you onto the bed of this catapult where rats will gnaw the rope on this pulley, releasing the weight and sending you into this vat of piping-hot scrambled eggs!  (laughs madly)


''Brain and Binky are watching in the Powers’ living room. Binky looks horrified. Brain beside him looks bored.''
'''Bionic Bunny:''' You'll never get away with this, Dr Fowl!    ''Binky looks horrified. Brain beside him looks bored.''


'''Brain:''' (sighs) Why doesn't he just throw Bionic Bunny into the scrambled eggs?
'''Brain:''' Why doesn't he just THROW Bionic Bunny into the scrambled eggs?


'''Binky:''' Hey, whose side are you on?
'''Binky:''' Hey, whose side are you on?
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'''Brain:''' But it's so unrealistic! Watch now. Dr Fowl will reveal his master plan for no reason.
'''Brain:''' But it's so unrealistic! Watch now. Dr Fowl will reveal his master plan for no reason.


'''Dr. Fowl (on TV):''' And while you're melting like a wedge of cheddar, I'll be robbing banks dressed as… you!
'''Dr. Fowl:''' While you're melting like a wedge of cheddar, I'll be robbing banks dressed as… YOU!   ''He puts on a Bionic Bunny mask.''
 
''He puts on a Bionic Bunny mask.''


'''Brain:''' Ah, the age-old mask device?! We've seen it a million times. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen next.
'''Brain:''' Ah, the age-old mask device?! We've seen it a million times. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen next.
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'''Binky:''' Cut it out! Why do you have to ruin the whole show?! It really bugs me.
'''Binky:''' Cut it out! Why do you have to ruin the whole show?! It really bugs me.


<nowiki>***</nowiki>
=== # ===
 
''Mr. Ratburn has a model of the solar system on his desk.''
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' And the outermost planet is...? Francine?
 
'''Francine:''' Pluto.
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Good. Now, because Pluto is so far away from the sun...
 
'''Brain:''' Mr. Ratburn? Pluto's orbit intersects Neptune's so technically it's not always outermost.
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Right. Thank you, Alan. But I'd appreciate it if you raise your hand before...
 
''Brain raises his hand.''
 
'''Brain:''' Yes, Alan?
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Isn't it true there's some controversy as to whether Pluto should be classified as a planet at all?
 
''Several kids look bored or roll their eyes.''
 
'''Brain:''' Yes, I suppose.
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' So, why are we learning the planets if we don't even know...
 
'''Brain:''' Hand, Alan. Hand. ''Brain raises his hand.'' Sorry, no more questions until after class.
 
''Brain looks grumpy.''
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''After school, Binky, George, Muffy and Prunella play “Capture the Flag” against Francine, Arthur, Buster and Brain in the park. Both teams are huddled up.''
 
'''Francine:''' You guys sneak around back and divert them and I'll race in and grab the flag.
 
'''Arthur:''' Good idea!
 
'''Brain:''' Wait. Haven't you guys learnt anything from the Battle of Agincourt? The likelihood of traversing that...
 
'''Francine:''' You don't like my plan?
 
'''Brain:''' Well, a more effective option would be to orchestrate a weave pattern. Here, let me show you on my DX3 Personal Organizer.
 
''Muffy sneaks past them. Suddenly, Francine’s team hears the others celebrating.''
 
'''Muffy’s Team:''' (Yeah! Woo-hoo!)
 
'''Arthur:''' Aww...
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''After the game, Brain walks home with Buster.''
 
'''Brain:''' I know we would have won if they had just listened to me. Here, I saved the plan on my DX3... ''He searches his pockets.'' Ah! My personal organizer! I left it on the field!
 
''He runs back.''
 
''Brain picks up his organizer when he hears Francine and Arthur, who are sitting on a park bench.''
 
'''Francine:''' We could have won if it weren't for Brain. He's such a know-it-all. Sometimes he can be a real pest.
 
'''Brain:''' Come on, Francine. It's not a big deal.
 
'''Francine:''' But it happens every time.
 
''They walk away. Brain sits down looking thoughtful.''
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Mrs. Powers tucks her son in.''
''Mrs. Powers tucks her son in.''


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'''Mrs. Powers:''' Of course not, Sweetie. Where does a question like that come from?
'''Mrs. Powers:''' Of course not, Sweetie. Where does a question like that come from?


'''Brain:''' It was just something someone said. But you know, you really shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition. “From where does a question like that come” is more correct.
'''Brain:''' It was just something someone said. But you know, you really shouldn’t end a sentence with a proposition. “From where does a question like that come” is more correct.


'''Mrs. Powers:''' Okay, Alan. It’s time to go to sleep.
'''Mrs. Powers:''' Okay, Alan. It’s time to go to sleep.


''She turns off the light and leaves. Brain falls asleep.''
=== # ===
I must've stayed up too late working on those extra credit problems.


<nowiki>***</nowiki>
[[Alan Powers]]: Mom, don't be alarmed when you see me!


''In his dream, Brain wakes up. We see the room through his eyes. Two insect antennae are hanging into the picture.''
Brain's [[Mrs. Powers|Mom]]: You look fine. Now hurry along.


'''Brain:''' (yawns) I must have stayed up too late working on those extra credit problems.
The Brain: Mom, I'm a bug!


''Brain opens the door with an insect claw and walks into the bathroom where he sees himself in the mirror as a giant bug. Only his face looks normal.''
Brain's Mom: Of course, Alan, you're a common household pest. Now put on the sweater from [[Brain's grandmother|Grandma]]. It's school picture day.


'''Brain:''' Aaargh! ''There’s a knock on the door.'' Mom. Don't be alarmed when you see me.
(At [[Lakewood Elementary School|school]])


''Mrs. Powers opens the door.''
The Brain: I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Rat—


'''Mrs. Powers:''' You look fine. Now hurry along.
[[Nigel Ratburn]]: Oh, just take a seat and stop bugging us.


'''Brain:''' Mom, I'm a bug!
=== # ===
''Brain the bug wants to enter the cafeteria.''


'''Mrs. Powers:''' Of course, Alan, you're a common household pest. Now, put on the sweater from Grandma. It's school picture day.
'''Mr. Haney: '''I'm sorry, Alan. You can't come in here. We have orders from the Board of Health.
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Brain the bug runs into the classroom wearing the sweater.''
 
'''Brain:''' Sorry I'm late, Mr. Rat…
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Oh, just take a seat and stop bugging us. Since we've all done our reading, a pop quiz shouldn’t be too difficult.
 
''Brain tries to pick up a pencil with his claw, but it falls to the floor.''
 
'''Brain:''' (sighs)
 
''A while later, the kids work on their tests, while Brain tries unsuccessfully to hold the pencil with both claws.''
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Time's up. Congratulations, Alan. You've succeeded in producing a puddle of brown slime.
 
''There is a puddle on the desk. Mr. Ratburn stamps an F on the quiz.''
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Brain the bug tries to enter the cafeteria. Mr. Haney stands at the door.''
 
'''Mr. Haney:''' I'm sorry, Alan. You can't come in here.  
 
'''Brain:''' (gasps)
 
'''Mr. Haney:''' We have orders from the Board of Health.


'''Brain:''' But I'm hungry!
'''Brain:''' But I'm hungry!


'''Mr. Haney:''' Well, take it up with the Board. In the meantime, there's plenty of rotten fruit in the garbage.
'''Mr. Haney: '''Well, take it up with the Board. In the meantime, there's plenty of rotten fruit in the garbage.
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''The kids pose for a class photo.''
 
'''Photographer:''' All right, everyone...smile!


''The flash goes off. Brain covers his eyes.''
=== # ===
''Brain the bug hides from the others in a cave.''


'''Brain:''' Eeeee!
'''Binky:''' The subterranean cave? Not THAT age-old device


''He runs out of the room on all six legs.''
'''Francine:''' Brain, have you learnt nothing from the Battle of Agincourt?


'''Class:''' (gasp)
'''Brain:''' What… what are you going to do to me?   
 
'''Photographer:''' We're gonna have to take that one again.
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Buster, Binky, George and Arthur stand around Francine who is pumping air into her flat bicycle tire.''
 
'''Arthur:''' Here, let me try.
 
'''Brain:''' You have a slow leak. I'd suggest a makeshift sealant composed of...
 
'''Buster:''' Will you quit bugging us!
 
'''Francine:''' You're a pest, Brain! A real pest!
 
'''Binky:''' And you know what we do with pests? We squash ‘em!
 
'''Kids:''' Let's get him!
 
''They advance on Brain who runs away.''
 
'''Brain:''' Aaargh!
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Brain runs into a spooky looking wood pursued by the others. There are flags tied to the trees.''
 
'''Brain:''' Aaargh!
 
''He runs into a cave and hides.''
 
'''Binky:''' The subterranean cave? Not that age-old device.
 
'''Francine:''' Really, Brain, have you learned nothing from the Battle of Agincourt?
 
'''Brain:''' What… what are you going to do to me?


''The kids grab him and put him in a machine like on the Bionic Bunny Show. They are now dressed like Dr. Fowl.''
''The kids grab him and put him in a machine like on the Bionic Bunny Show. They are now dressed like Dr. Fowl.''
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'''Brain:''' But... but that makes no sense. It would be much simpler just to swat me without all the rigamarole.
'''Brain:''' But... but that makes no sense. It would be much simpler just to swat me without all the rigamarole.


'''Binky:''' Maybe. But it would be a lot less fun. Haha! Okay, Buster, let her rip! (laughs)
'''Binky:''' Maybe. But it would be a lot less fun. Haha! OK, Buster, let her rip!  (laughs)
 
''The kids grin as Buster pulls the lever.''


'''Brain:''' Nooo!
'''Brain:''' Nooo!


''The dream ends. Brain sits up.''
=== # ===
 
''Brain consults Prunella (as a fortune-teller) about his dream.''
'''Brain:''' (gasps) Sheesh. What a disturbing dream.
 
''He wiggles his (normal) fingers.''
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Brain sits in Prunella’s room. She is dressed as a fortune-teller.''


'''Brain:''' So what does it all mean?
'''Brain:''' So what does it all mean?
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'''Prunella:''' Ohhhmmm... I've got it! It means you will come into sudden wealth.
'''Prunella:''' Ohhhmmm... I've got it! It means you will come into sudden wealth.


'''Brain:''' Sudden wealth? There was nothing in my dream about sudden wealth!
'''Brain:''' Sudden wealth?? There was nothing in my dream about sudden wealth!


'''Prunella:''' No, wait! You will meet a stranger who will change your life.
'''Prunella:''' No, wait! You will meet a stranger who will change your life.


'''Brain:''' What does that have to do with bugs?
'''Brain:''' What has that to do with bugs?!      ''Prunella consults a book.''
 
''Prunella consults a book.''


'''Prunella:''' Uh...you will receive a promotion at work?
'''Prunella:''' Uh...you will receive a promotion at work?
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'''Prunella:''' I suppose that's possible.
'''Prunella:''' I suppose that's possible.


'''Brain:''' I think I dreamed I was a bug because I ''am'' a bug... in a symbolic sense. You see, when I correct people they find it bothersome.
'''Brain:''' I think I dreamed I was a bug because I AM a bug... in a symbolic sense. You see, when I correct people they find it bothersome.


'''Prunella:''' Okay, smarty-pants, have it your way!
'''Prunella:''' Okay, smarty-pants, have it YOUR way!


'''Brain:''' A perfect illustration of my theory. I see only one solution - a vow of total silence.
'''Brain:''' A perfect illustration of my theory. I see only one solution - a vow of total silence.


'''Prunella:''' Total silence? Ha! You won't last a minute!
'''Prunella:''' Total silence?! Ha! You won't last a minute!
 
'''Brain:''' I assure you, Prunella, I have ample willpower to... Oops.
 
''Prunella grins. He makes a lock-lips-and-throw-away-the-key gesture.''
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Mr. Ratburn addresses the class.''
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' If anyone can answer the following question, I'll let you all go to recess early today.
 
'''Class:''' (Oh, cool! Great! Let's do it!)
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backwards?
 
''Everyone looks thoughtful.''
 
'''Brain:''' (thinks:) Hmm. Moving backwards... I've got it! It's Niagara Falls. The force of the water erodes the lip of the falls, making it recede. ''He raises his hand.'' Wait! I can't! My vow!


''He lowers his hand.''
'''Brain:''' I assure you, Prunella, I have ample willpower to... Oops.  


'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Anybody?
''Prunella grins. He makes a lock lips and throw away the key gesture.''


''Brain holds his right arm down with his left.''
=== # ===
''Brain has broken his vow of silence in order to win “Capture the Flag”.''


'''Brain:''' (thinks:) Must...be...strong... Say Niagara Falls! Niagara Falls! Niagara Falls!
'''Brain: '''Here. Sorry.


'''Buster:''' Uh...is it the Statue of Liberty?
'''Francine: '''Sorry? What are you sorry for? You got us the flag.


''Brain facepalms.''
'''Arthur: '''Yeah, that was great.
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' No, Buster, it's a natural landmark. Anybody else?
 
''Everybody looks at Brain.''
 
'''Brain:''' Oh, sure, they want me to answer now, but later on they'll just call me a pest.
 
'''Mr. Ratburn:''' Time's up. The answer is Niagara Falls, whose rim is steadily eroded by the thousands of gallons of water passing over it each second.
 
'''Brain:''' (thinks:) 75,000 gallons per second, to be precise.
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Arthur and some other kids play marbles during recess.''
 
'''Arthur:''' Hmm, I could go for a red spiral... or maybe the steelie in the back. What do you think, Brain?
 
'''Brain:''' Ahem.
 
'''Arthur:''' Did you hear me, Brain?
 
'''Brain:''' Ahem! Ahem!
 
''Brain gestures with his foot.''
 
'''Arthur:''' Are you okay? Do you need some water?
 
'''Brain:''' (exasperated sigh)
 
''He walks away.''
 
'''Arthur:''' What's wrong with him?
 
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
 
''Buster is looking at a dandelion when he should be guarding the flag, while Francine, Arthur and Brain are huddled together in the Park. Binky, Muffy, Prunella and George again form the other team.''
 
'''Francine:''' I have the perfect plan. Arthur, you climb up that tree over there. Meanwhile the Brain will grab the right flag at the field...
 
''Brain sees George sneak up on the flag while Buster blows the dandelion.''
 
'''Brain:''' (thinks:) They're going to get our flag! I've gotta do something! No. Don't say a word. They don't want you telling them how to do things. But I have to say something! But I can't! But I must! But I... (loud:) Francine, go help Buster. Arthur, make a diversionary move toward their flag.
 
'''Francine:''' (gasps)
 
''The kids run in different directions. Arthur runs towards Muffy and Prunella.''
 
'''Arthur:''' (gasps)
 
''Brain dodges Binky and gets the flag.''
 
'''Binky:''' (grunts)
 
'''Brain:''' Francine!
 
''He hands Francine the flag.''
 
'''Brain:''' Here. Sorry.
 
'''Francine:''' Sorry? What are you sorry for? You got us the flag.
 
'''Arthur:''' Yeah, that was great.


'''Brain:''' But I told you guys what to do. Doesn’t that annoy you?
'''Brain:''' But I told you guys what to do. Doesn’t that annoy you?


'''Buster:''' Yeah, but not when it wins us the game.
'''Buster: '''Yeah, but not when it wins us the game.


'''Arthur:''' Is that why you’ve been so quiet today? Because you think you’re annoying?
'''Arthur:''' Is that why you’ve been so quiet today? Because you think you’re annoying?
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'''Brain:''' Well, I overheard Francine calling me a pest the other day.
'''Brain:''' Well, I overheard Francine calling me a pest the other day.


'''Francine:''' I was just mad that we lost, Brain. I’m sorry.
'''Francine: '''I was just mad that we lost, Brain. I’m sorry.  
 
'''Arthur:''' Besides, everyone bugs people sometimes. Muffy’s a show-off, Binky can be a bully, and Buster eats my desserts when I’m not looking…


'''Buster:''' Huh? And what about Francine, she can be a real bigmouth.
'''Arthur: '''Besides, everyone bugs people sometimes. Muffy’s a show-off, Binky can be a bully, and Buster eats my desserts when I’m not looking…


'''Francine:''' What? Who are you calling a bigmouth?
'''Buster: '''Huh? And what about Francine, she can be a real bigmouth.


'''Brain:''' I guess you’re right.
'''Francine: '''What?! Who are you calling a bigmouth?!


'''Francine:''' I am not a bigmouth!
'''Brain: '''I guess you’re right.


''The others leave while she yells.''  
'''Francine: '''I am not a bigmouth!!    ''The others leave while she yells.''


''The next morning Francine gets out of bed.''
''The next morning Francine wakes up with a pelican’s bill.''


'''Francine:''' (yawns) ''She sees her reflection in the mirrored closet door. She has a pelican’s beak.'' Huh? (screams)
'''Francine:'''  Hh!  (screams)


[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Unfinished Transcripts]]
[[Category:A to Z]]
[[Category:A to Z]]
[[Category:Season 8 transcripts]]
[[Category:Season 8 transcripts]]

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