Editing Based on a True Story/Transcript


''A blank studio-like room is shown; Arthur walks in.''

'''[[Arthur Read]]:''' Hi! Today I want to introduce you to a new friend of mine. Her name is...

''Ladonna Compson appears from the bottom of the screen, covering Arthur.''

'''[[Ladonna Compson]]:''' Hey! Ladonna Compson here. Nice to meet you!

''Arthur moves over and appears unhappy.''

'''Ladonna:''' Today's show has everything in it. Adventures, jokes, alligators...

''The camera flips to show the other direction, and is behind Arthur.''

'''Ladonna:''' ...dinosaurs, tigers...

'''Arthur (cutting Ladonna off):''' Wait a minute. There are no tigers in this show.

'''Ladonna:''' Oh, yeah? What do you call this?

''Ladonna is wearing a tiger puppet on her right hand. She roars like a tiger.''

'''Arthur:''' A hand puppet?

'''Ladonna:''' ''(takes off tiger puppet)'' Well, okay. You got me there. But there is the world's smartest, most handsome white rat named General Higgins! See?

''A white rat appears on Ladonna's shoulder and hops off. Pal is seen sniffing.''

'''Arthur:''' Come to think of it, there aren't any dinosaurs in this story, either.

'''Ladonna:''' Are so! ''(holds out her right pinky)'' Want to pinky bet?

''Ladonna and Arthur link their right pinkies.''

'''Arthur:''' Winner gets to wrap up the show.

'''Ladonna:''' You're on! See you at the end of the show.

'''Arthur (to audience):''' Don't count on it.

''A cracking sound is heard.''

'''Arthur:''' Ow! How do you get such strong pinkies?

== Part One ==

'''Muffy (reading the title):''' Based on a True Story.

''The scene fades to a camper truck honking its horn. Ladonna is in the front yard of her house, but she is about to move to a new place.''

'''Ladonna:''' Coming! ''(hugs the biggest tree in the front yard, with the letter "L" carved into its trunk)'' Bye, Oaksie! You were the best tree in the whole yard. Sorry I carved an "L" into you. ''(looking in the other direction)'' Goodbye, rusty rake! Goodbye, mossy rock! Goodbye, tree that looks like a scarecrow! Goodbye, gopher hole! ''(runs to the camper truck)''

'''[[Bud Compson]] (peeking out a window on the RV):''' I get to sit by the window and so does Rapty, and you have to help me practice the harmonica because Daddy said so.

'''Ladonna:''' ''(opens camper truck window and sighs)'' Hello, 16-hour drive.

''The camper truck starts moving. It travels along a rural road alongside farm fields, through a city-center street, near a suspension bridge with a city skyline in the background, through the countryside at night, then the camper enters Elwood City. It travels along a central Elwood City street (where it is winter), passing by Brain's Ice Cream Shop, then the Sugar Bowl, before finally arriving at a house. A Fallon & Son Movers moving van arrived at the house before the camper.''

''Later, Arthur and D.W. are walking down the street with a gift for the new residents.''

'''[[D.W. Read]]:''' They live right down the block, and we want them to like us, so you better let me do the talking.

''Arthur and D.W. walk up to the front door of the house where the new residents moved in. The doorbell sounds; Ladonna answers the door.''

'''D.W.:''' Hi! I'm D.W., your four-houses-down-the-block neighbor. Pleased to meet you! Do you have a little sister?

'''Ladonna:''' I'm Ladonna! Nice to meet you, too.

''Ladonna invites Arthur and D.W. in; she closes the door.''

'''Ladonna:''' No younger sisters, but there's Bud. He's about your age.

'''Ladonna (yelling upstairs):''' Bud, get down here! We've got company!

'''Arthur:''' Hi. I'm Arthur. Welcome to the neighborhood.

'''Ladonna:''' ''(accepts gift)'' Thanks! Is it a cake? I love cake. My favorite kind of cake is king cake. It's got cinnamon and icing and a little baby inside! Not a real one, of course. A plastic one.

''D.W. quietly gasps as Ladonna mentions the plastic baby.''

'''Ladonna:''' Once my brother Gussie bit into a slice and chipped a molar on it. ''(giggles)'' Cross my heart. But I've never seen king cake outside Louisiana.

'''Arthur:''' It's a pie. Rhubarb, I think. My dad made it.

'''Ladonna:''' ''(sniffs the box)'' Smells amazing! ''(yelling into the distance)'' Hey, Mom! Someone named Arthur and D.W. just brought us a rhubarb pie.

'''Ladonna (to Arthur and D.W.):''' What's rhubarb anyway? A root? A berry? A tuber? I'm sure I'll like it, whatever it is. My daddy says I'm a garbage disposal with legs. I eat everything. Except beets, I can't stand beets. If I even look at a beet, my stomach starts jumping like a toad on a pogo stick. ''(giggles)'' Want to come in and have some sweet tea?

'''Ladonna (yelling into the distance):''' Madison, make some sweet tea!

''Arthur and D.W. hesitate a little.''

'''Ladonna:''' Well, you gonna come in? Or we could go outside! I love exploring in the woods. Are there any woods to explore around here?

'''Arthur:''' Huh? Oh, yeah! Plenty of them. But we were on our way to my grandma's. Maybe later?

'''Ladonna:''' Oh, okay. Sure. Well, don't be a stranger, four-houses-down neighbors. ''(opens front door to let Arthur and D.W. out)'' Thanks for the pie.

''Ladonna closes the door to find Bud suddenly standing next to her. She gasps in a surprised manner.''

'''Bud:''' You talked too much and scared 'em away, didn't you?

'''Ladonna:''' What?! No, I didn't.

'''Bud:''' Did so. ''(points to a particular location)'' I was spying right over there, and your mouth didn't stop moving once.

'''Ladonna (annoyed):''' You shouldn't spy. It's against the law.

''Ladonna walks away.''

'''Bud:''' Well, it was Rapty's idea, so it's only half my fault.

'''Bud (to Rapty, his stuffed dinosaur):''' Bad dinosaur! You're going to jail.

''In the kitchen, Ladonna takes her pet white rat out of its glass-box home and gently puts the rat on her left shoulder.''

'''Ladonna:''' Anyway, they seemed nice. I hope they did like me.

''Bud walks into the kitchen.''

'''Ladonna (worried):''' We're going to need some new friends here.

'''Bud:''' Don't worry about me. Everyone likes me 'cause I'm cute, funny, and can make good animal noises. But you might want to try and be just a little less... Ladonna-ish. Just until they get used to you.

''Ladonna sighs. The scene cuts to Mr. Haney introducing Ladonna to her classmates.''

'''Mr. Haney:''' I'd like you to meet your new classmate, Ladonna Compson.

''In Mr. Ratburn's class, most kids just stare at Ladonna, making Ladonna feel nervous. Arthur is nicer than that, though.''

'''Arthur (in the distance):''' Hey! Over here!

''Arthur shows Ladonna a seat he saved for her.''

'''Arthur:''' I saved you a seat.

''Ladonna smiles and walks toward the seat. The scene cuts to the kids having lunch in the cafeteria. Arthur, Buster, and Francine sit with Ladonna.''

'''Francine:''' You have a really cool accent. Where are you from?

'''Ladonna:''' Louisiana.

'''Buster:''' "Ladonna". Is that short for something?

'''Ladonna:''' Nope.

'''Francine:''' Do you play basketball? We could really use someone your height on our team.

'''Ladonna:''' I'm not very good.

'''Buster:''' Do you like Dark Bunny?

'''Ladonna:''' I haven't met him yet. Is he in our class?

'''Arthur:''' He's a superhero on TV.

'''Ladonna:''' Oh, we don't have a TV.

''Buster is so surprised at Ladonna having no TV that he chokes on his food, but quickly recovers with Arthur helping him.''

'''Ladonna:''' Well, we did have one once, but we gave it away to the alligator sanctuary.

'''Francine:''' Alligator sanctuary?

'''Ladonna:''' Yeah. It's where they rescue alligators and other lizards that have been abandoned. My brother Gussie was working there one summer, and there was this one gator named Penny, and she was kind of grumpy, and no one could figure out why. But TV really calmed her down, so my daddy... This is really boring, isn't it?

''Arthur, Buster, and Francine all disagree that is is boring; replying with a cacophony of "What?", "Come on", and "No way!"''

'''Ladonna:''' Well, they put the TV right outside Penny's enclosure.

''A flashback begins; the scene cuts to Gussie, Ladonna's older brother, sitting just outside the alligator enclosure, where an alligator is watching TV.''

'''Ladonna (narrating):''' ''Turned out that she really liked this one soap opera.''

'''Man in TV:''' I have something to confess to you. I'm not Sheldon.

'''Woman in TV:''' You're not?

'''Man:''' I'm Shelby, Sheldon's twin. I should have told you sooner, Karen.

'''Woman:''' I'm not Karen, I'm Kara.

''Gussie changes the channel. A Crosswire Motors commercial with Mr. Crosswire dressed in a duck costume is seen. Penny roars, causing Gussie to fiddle with the remote and change the channel back to the soap opera.''

'''Kara:''' Karen's my undercover name.

'''Ladonna (narrating):''' ''Then Penny had all these alligator babies, and they really liked the soap, too.''

''The scene transitions to Penny watching the soap opera with her alligator babies.''

'''Ladonna (narrating):''' ''But my younger brother Bud was upset, 'cause we didn't have a TV, and everyone else did. So he made my daddy take it back.''

''The camera slides over to the left, showing that the TV is gone. The scene then cuts to Ladonna's old house in Louisiana.''

'''Ladonna (narrating):''' ''But then Madison was home sick one day, and there was nothing to watch.''

''Inside the living room of Ladonna's old house, Madison, Ladonna's older sister, is lying down on the couch in front of the TV.''

'''Ladonna (narrating):''' ''So she started watching that soap, and she had it on really loud, because her ears were stuffy, and when it was over, she discovered that she wasn't alone...''

''Madison picks up what she thinks is the TV remote, but is in fact a baby alligator. She presses on it, thinking that she is pressing TV remote buttons, and discovers the baby alligator. This causes Madison to drop the alligator in panic, scream, and run out of the house while screaming. The flashback ends; Jenna, Binky, Muffy, George, and the Brain are all near Ladonna, to hear the story.''

'''Ladonna:''' After that, we gave the TV to the alligator sanctuary for good.

'''Brain:''' You had a carnivorous reptile in your house?

'''Buster:''' Brain, it was an alligator. Haven't you been listening?

''Muffy gasps; the camera zooms out to see Mr. Ratburn waiting for the kids to finish their story.''

'''Muffy:''' Did you keep him? You know, alligator oil is a fabulous moisturizer.

'''Mr. Ratburn:''' ''(clears throat while looking at his watch)'' I believe History follows lunch. Not story time.

''The scene fades to the kids leaving the cafeteria to return to class. Kids fight for Ladonna's attention.''

'''Francine:''' ''(giggles)'' I have an older sister, too. Do you guys have to share a room?

'''Muffy:''' After school, you and me. The mall. Big sale on glitter headbands.

'''Buster:''' Don't tell anyone, but I have a coupon for Gregerson's all-you-can-eat buffet. We can have thirds! Fourths! They can't stop us!

''Ladonna smiles as she returns to class. The scene cuts to Brain's Ice Cream Shop, where Ladonna is telling a story to the friends from Mr. Ratburn's class.''

'''Ladonna:''' But the largest crab I ever caught was as big as a pizza. Cross my heart.

''The scene fades to Ladonna telling a story to the Tough Customers.''

'''Ladonna:''' And he had a hook instead of a hand, but he could do anything with it, even thread a needle.

''Ladonna is standing next to Arthur, who is preparing a snowball, when a snowball hits Arthur. Buster and Francine laugh. Muffy, who is behind Buster, stuffs a snowball in Buster's hood, causing him to scream in shock. The scene fades back to the Ice Cream Shop, where Ladonna, Buster, and Francine are sitting at the counter seats. Ladonna is telling a story.''

'''Ladonna:''' And my mama played in that band til she was 25, but got so broke she had to sell her trumpet. But then this soldier bought it back, and that was my daddy, Captain Rufus Tucker Compson.

''Buster licks his partially-melted ice cream. Ladonna is now seen riding in Muffy's limousine with the windows open, and the wind blowing Muffy and Ladonna's hair while the two are laughing. The scene fades to Bud making a strange sound in his house.''

'''D.W.:''' What was that?

'''Bud:''' A whale!

'''D.W.:''' Really? It sounded like our car just before it died. Listen to this.

''D.W. makes a "cock-a-doodle-doo" rooster sound.''

'''Bud:''' That's the best rooster I've ever heard.

'''D.W.:''' Thanks! Keep practicing. ''(opens door to leave)'' See ya!

''D.W. closes the door; the scene transitions to the Compsons' kitchen.''

'''Bud (disappointed):''' She didn't like my whale. Didn't like my pig sound, either. Said it was too oinky, not like a real pig.

'''Ladonna:''' These things take time, Bud. We've only been here a week. You can't expect to have friends overnight.

'''Bud:''' Why not? You've got friends already. You're not paying them, are you?

'''Ladonna:''' Of course not! They like me because I tell great stories.

'''Bud:''' Well, what happens when you run out of stories?

'''Ladonna:''' ''(giggles)'' Me? Run out of stories?! Please! The Atlantic Ocean will dry up before that ever happens!

''Back at the playground, Ladonna is telling a story.''

'''Ladonna:''' But Gussie's face was so red and swollen, he decided to wear a mask to school. That's how he became known as...

'''Buster (cutting off Ladonna):''' The Phantom of the Poison Ivy.

'''Ladonna:''' How'd you know that?

'''Arthur:''' You already told us that story.

'''Ladonna:''' Well, how 'bout this one? Once, I heard this mysterious sound coming from somewhere in our walls. First, I thought it was a ghost, but...

'''Arthur (cutting off Ladonna):''' It turned out a barn owl had made a nest in your chimney.

'''Buster:''' You told us that one twice. But I love it! Especially when the owl lays an egg in Madison's hat.

'''Arthur:''' ''(giggles while helping Buster up from his upside-down position)'' Hey, did you see Dark Bunny last night?

'''Buster:''' ''(gasps)'' Wasn't it amazing? I was so surprised by that ending.

'''Arthur:''' And who knew Bionic Bunny's real name is Sue?

''Ladonna imagines a giant hand pulling out a bathtub drain in front of the Statue of Liberty; the surrounding water drains out.''

'''Arthur:''' And then when that guy turned out to be a mutant...

''Ladonna starts leaving; Arthur notices.''

'''Arthur (to Ladonna):''' Hey! Where are you going? ''(Ladonna slides down the playground slide)'' There's still five minutes of recess left.

'''Ladonna:''' Huh? Oh, I, uh, just have to get my, my mittens. ''(showing her bare hands)'' Yeah. They're in my locker.

''Arthur and Buster look concerned. Late at night, Ladonna imagines going up the cafeteria table where Arthur, Buster, Brain, and Francine are sitting. Francine nudges Brain, while Arthur and Buster turn around to see Ladonna coming towards their table.''

'''Buster:''' Hey Ladonna! Got any stories for us today?

'''Ladonna (hesitantly):''' Um... no.

''Ladonna tries to sit at the table, but Arthur stops her.''

'''Arthur:''' Actually, it's a little crowded here. Why don't you sit over there?

''Arthur points towards Ladonna's left (his right); she looks to her left to see a stool in the middle of a desert in a wind storm with tumbleweed blowing in the wind. A crow caws. Ladonna wakes up from her dream.''

''Ladonna turns on a light in her room, and she is seen writing on a notepad. The notes say, "Tell you the story of how we had a bear as a pet camping with Dad at Mt. Driscoll''[sic]''"; "Enormous grisly''[sic]'' bear"; "Roaring"; "We thought we were goners"; and "Ran to edge of cliff".''

''She starts writing "We're trap..." as the scene cuts to Ladonna walking towards the cafeteria seating area, with the story written down on a piece of paper she is holding. Buster laughs, offscreen, as Ladonna makes her way towards her friends.''

'''Ladonna:''' Did I ever tell you about the time we had a bear as a pet?

''The friends talk over each other; Buster says something among the chatter.''

'''Buster:''' You have to tell us!

'''Ladonna:''' Once, my daddy and I were alone on this camping trip around Mount Driskill in Louisiana, and we came across this ginormous grizzly bear, who was roarin' its lungs out like this: ''(roars)'' And we thought, we were goners for sure, but then...

'''Brain (cutting off Ladonna):''' Wait! There are no grizzly bears in Louisiana. The ''ursus arctos horribilis'', or grizzly bear, lives out west in places like the Rockies and British Columbia.

'''Ladonna:''' Well, I... I guess this one just got lost. Anyway, Madison fed him some uh, some pizza, and...

'''Buster (cutting off Ladonna):''' I thought you said it was just you and your dad on the trip.

'''Ladonna:''' I did? No, no, no. She was there, too.

'''Francine (suspiciously):''' Is this story true?

'''Ladonna:''' Maybe I fibbed in a few parts, just to make it a little bit more exciting.

'''Francine:''' ''(crossing her arms)'' Which parts?

'''Ladonna:''' Well, the part about the bear, for one.

'''Buster:''' What about your other stories? ''(gets suspicious)'' Were they lies, too?

'''Ladonna:''' No, they weren't! Cross my heart!

'''Francine:''' I don't believe you! ''(leaves the table)''

'''Buster:''' ''(leaving the table)'' I bet you don't even have mittens!

''Brain also leaves the table.''

'''Ladonna:''' Arthur, I just lied this one time! You believe me, don't you?

'''Arthur:''' I don't know what to think anymore.

''Arthur leaves the table, leaving Ladonna by herself.''

'''''End of Part One.'''''

==Part Two==

''On a snowy day, Lakewood Elementary School is seen. Inside the cafeteria, Ladonna is sitting at a table by herself.''

'''Arthur (offscreen):''' I think we should give her a second chance.

''The camera moves over to show Arthur, Buster, Francine, and Muffy sitting at a table together.''

'''Muffy:''' Why, so she can lie to us again, like she did yesterday?

'''Arthur:''' It was just one lie.

'''Francine:''' You don't know that. She might have been lying all along.

'''Muffy:''' I opened my heart to that girl. I taught her how to accessorize.

''Ladonna feels sad sitting at a table by herself.''

'''Arthur:''' It just seems like we're being kind of harsh. I'm gonna go sit with her.

''Arthur picks up his tray and leaves the table. Buster follows.''

'''Buster:''' Me too. Who hasn't told one or two lies before?

'''Francine:''' ''(scoffs)'' Or in your case, one or two hundred.

'''Buster:''' See? I just lied again. It can't be helped.

''Ladonna is squirting ketchup on her meatloaf. She is about to eat it when Arthur comes to her table.''

'''Arthur:''' Anyone sitting here?

'''Ladonna:''' Huh? No, sit down! Want my fruit salad? I got two of them because I thought there were cherries in them, but then they weren't cherries, they were just grapes. And I can't eat grapes ever since General Higgins almost choked on one. See, Bud and I were having this picnic, and...

'''Arthur (cutting off Ladonna):''' It's okay. You don't have to give us your fruit salad. Also, you don't have to tell us any stories.

''Arthur and Buster sit down.''

'''Buster:''' Not that they aren't great stories.

'''Arthur:''' But we like you a lot even without them. Just be yourself.

'''Ladonna:''' Okay. Thanks, guys. It was getting pretty lonely over here.

'''Buster:''' No problem! On second thought, I think I will have that fruit salad.

''Buster takes one of Ladonna's fruit salad (per her offer); he then takes the other one. The scene cuts to D.W.'s room, where D.W., Emily, and Bud are playing something.''

'''D.W.:''' And then the Princess said that she wished her Prince was still a toad.

'''Emily:''' Do you take sugar in your tea, Mr. Compson?

'''Bud:''' ''(holds empty cup)'' I would, but I don't have any tea.

'''D.W.:''' It's pretend.

'''Bud:''' Can I pretend it's tomato soup instead?

''D.W. and Emily sigh.''

'''Bud:''' Then no sugar, please. But I will take a bigger spoon. And crackers if you have 'em.

'''D.W.:''' Bud, we're playing tea, not lunch.

'''Bud:''' Well, why can't we play lunch?

'''D.W.:''' Because I have a toy tea set. That's what you do with it. You put pretend tea in the toy tea pot!

'''Bud:''' You can put anything in that pot.

''Bud opens the tea pot lid and spoons something into it.''

'''Bud:''' See? I just put mac and cheese in it.

'''Emily:''' ''(offers her plate)'' Oh! I'll have some!

'''D.W. (annoyed):''' No! ''(takes tea pot back)'' We're not playing lunch! This is my tea pot, and I don't want mac and cheese in it!

''D.W. dumps out the pretend mac and cheese. Bud appears shocked as a result. The scene fades to Bud sitting outside Arthur's house.''

'''Bud (feeling down):''' That D.W. doesn't like me.

''Rapty, Bud's toy dinosaur, comes to life.''

'''Rapty:''' ''(gasps)'' Bud, don't say that! Everyone likes you! You're so talented!

'''Bud:''' Not to her. She didn't like my animal sounds, or my magic tricks. And I don't play tea right.

'''Rapty:''' There must be something out there that'll impress her. Have you tried clapping?

'''Bud:''' ''(claps)'' Clapping's not impressive! Anyone can do that.

''Rapty struggles to clap his hands.''

'''Rapty:''' I can't.

'''Bud:''' I could tell her jokes. I'm great at telling jokes. What's pink and fluffy?

'''Rapty:''' What?

'''Bud:''' Pink fluff.

''Rapty laughs so hard that fire shoots out of his nose.''

'''Rapty:''' Pink fluff! Oh, Bud. That's just... That... I don't get it.

''Bud frowns at Rapty, who then reverts to the stuffed toy Rapty. Madison comes by Arthur's house, and she takes Bud home. The scene cuts to the outside of the Compsons' house.''

'''Ladonna (yelling):''' I'm going exploring! Anyone wanna come?

'''Gussie (offscreen)''' Can't!

'''Bud (offscreen):''' I'm practicing my jokes!

''Ladonna shrugs.''

'''Mrs. Compson (offscreen):''' Ladonna, take your hat.

''Mrs. Compson gives Ladonna her green-and-pruple hat.''

'''Ladonna:''' But it's itchy! Not to mention ugly.

'''Mrs. Compson:''' Young lady, your Aunt Bo bought you this hat so you would not get sick, because she loves you very much. And it is not ugly; it is bold.

'''Ladonna:''' ''(puts on her hat)'' Okay, okay! I'm wearing the hat!

''Ladonna goes outside. She jumps down the outside stairs to the ground. The scene fades to Ladonna walking in front of the tree house, in a snow-covered environment. She scratches her head.''

'''Ladonna:''' Ugh, no wonder Aunt Bo is going bald.

''Ladonna spots an eagle in the sky. She reaches for something in her pocket, but her hat falls and covers her eyes. Ladonna tosses her hat on the ground, then takes out her flip phone and tries to take a picture. The eagle has flown away.''

'''Ladonna:''' Aw, missed it.

'''Ladonna:''' ''(sighs annoyingly)'' Why isn't she home?

'''Arthur:''' Maybe she's getting her hair dyed?

'''Ladonna:''' We'll go to that thrift store. I bet they have some more hats!

''Ladonna and Arthur walk away from Mrs. Radley's house. Arthur sighs. The scene cuts to the Care to Ware store. Ladonna and Arthur walk out of the store.''

'''Ladonna:''' That store clerk didn't even remember me.

'''Arthur:''' So? He didn't remember me either, and I've been in that store lots of times.

'''Ladonna:''' There's still one more place we can go.

'''Arthur:''' Ladonna, you really don't have to...

'''Ladonna:''' Come on! We have to get there before it gets dark!

''Ladonna runs off into the distance. Arthur groans and follows her. Ladonna and Arthur are near the place where Ladonna fell previously.''

'''Ladonna:''' I think I fell around here, I think. And the raccoon was right over there. Or maybe it was over there. ''(sighs)'' It all looks the same now.

''An eagle call is heard; Ladonna points up to the sky.''

'''Ladonna:''' The eagle!

''The eagle is flying in the sky. Ladonna sighs and kneels on the ground.''

'''Ladonna:''' I guess I won't be able to prove I was telling the truth.

''Arthur puts his right hand on Ladonna's shoulder.''

'''Arthur:''' You don't have to. I believe you. Why would you go to all this trouble if you were lying?

'''Ladonna:''' ''(stands up)'' You know, my Aunt Bo has blue hair, too, and the longest fingernails of anyone I ever met. She says she uses them to play the harp, but I've never seen a harp in...

''Arthur cuts off Ladonna and points to something.''

'''Arthur:''' Ladonna, look!

''The raccoon from before is seen wearing Ladonna's old hat. Ladonna smiles. The scene cuts to the school cafeteria, where Ladonna is sitting with Arthur, Buster, Francine, and Muffy. She is telling a story with a hat on her head.''

'''Ladonna:''' The raccoon was wearing the hat!

''Buster, Francine, and Muffy all appear surprised.''

'''Arthur:''' And when he saw us, he ran like the wind!

'''Ladonna:''' But luckily, the hat fell off.

''Ladonna takes out an identical-looking hat that was beside her. She shows the friends the moth hole that is on her old hat, and puts her finger in the hole.''

'''Ladonna:''' See? Here's the moth hole I was telling y'all about.

''Ladonna offers the hat to Francine; Francine accepts.''

'''Ladonna:''' Here, for you. Don't worry. I washed all the raccoony smell out of it.

'''Francine:''' Uh, thanks. Sorry I didn't believe you. ''(takes closer look at the hat)'' Actually, I kind of like it.

'''Muffy:''' You would. Thank you so much for ''not'' giving it to me. You really are a good friend.

''Ladonna smiles. Outside the frame, Ladonna is pushing the episode frame towards the left, revealing the studio-like room from the opening.''

'''Ladonna:''' See? Everything I said was gonna be in that story was in it.

''Arthur peeks out from behind Ladonna.''

'''Ladonna:''' There was adventure, jokes, alligators, dinosaurs...

'''Arthur:''' Okay, but it was just a toy dinosaur.

'''Ladonna:''' Details, details. I still get to wrap up the show.

'''Arthur:''' Not if I do it first!

''Arthur runs away; Ladonna follows.''

'''Ladonna:''' Hey!

''Ladonna appears from the other end and stops to look for Arthur. He suddenly appears in front of the camera.''

'''Arthur:''' Show's over! Goodbye everybody!

''The camera switches off, then immediately switches back on again. Ladonna walks front of the camera.''

'''Ladonna:''' Did I ever tell you about the time my Uncle Whitney made a jet pack out of a can of pop?

'''Arthur (offscreen):''' Ladonna!

'''Ladonna (to Arthur):''' All right, all right, I'm coming!

'''Ladonna (to audience):''' The end!

''Ladonna runs away. The camera switches off, for real this time.''

'''''The end.'''''

[[Category:Season 16 transcripts]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:A to Z]]
@@ Line 400: / Line 400: @@
 ''Buster takes one of Ladonna's fruit salad (per her offer); he then takes the other one. The scene cuts to D.W.'s room, where D.W., Emily, and Bud are playing something.''
-'''D.W. (in fake British accent):''' And then the Princess said that she wished her Prince was still a toad.
+'''D.W.:''' And then the Princess said that she wished her Prince was still a toad.
-'''Emily (in fake British accent):''' Do you take sugar in your tea, Mr. Compson?
+'''Emily:''' Do you take sugar in your tea, Mr. Compson?
 '''Bud:''' ''(holds empty cup)'' I would, but I don't have any tea.
@@ Line 485: / Line 485: @@
 '''Ladonna:''' Aw, missed it.
-''Ladonna puts her phone away, then kneels down to pick up her hat. She notices that it is gone, and footprints lead to a raccoon with Ladonna's hat in its mouth.''
-'''Ladonna:''' Hey! That's mine!
-''The raccoon runs away; Ladonna follows. She trips on a tree root that is sticking out of the ground, yelping as she falls into the snow. Ladonna yells at the raccoon.''
-'''Ladonna:''' Thief! Come back with my hat!
-''The raccoon runs past the tree house. Ladonna notices something shiny in the snow; she wipes some snow away to find a golden pocket watch. She opens the watch and reads a message inside the watch.''
-'''Ladonna (reading the message):''' "Property of Art Radley".
-''Ladonna takes the pocket watch with her. The scene cuts to the Compsons' house, where Ladonna is seen looking in an "Elwood City Directory" book for an "Art Radley". Ladonna is now in front of a house, where a woman is seen holding the pocket watch Ladonna found earlier.''
-'''Woman:''' My husband's watch! Oh, thank you! Here's a reward.
-''Mrs. Radley reaches into her purse, presumably to reward Ladonna with something, causing Ladonna to get a little excited. Ladonna is now walking down the street, disappointed.''
-'''Ladonna (holding quarters):''' Four measly quarters, for a watch that was lost for seven years?!
-''Ladonna sees a vending machine. She inserts a quarter and presses the bottom-most button, which is an orange button that says "Juice". Tons of quarters fall into the change box below the orange button. Ladonna is very happy with that, and is next seen with bulging winter coat pockets that jingle. Ladonna passes a store display with a hat that looks just like the one she had.''
-'''Ladonna:''' Huh? I don't believe it!
-''Ladonna runs into the "Care to Ware" store. The scene fades to Ladonna, in an upside-down shot, holding the hat she presumably bought at Care to Ware.''
-'''Ladonna:''' So, even though I didn't like that kind of hat, because it was itchy and "bold", as my mama would say, I had to buy it!
-''Arthur is seen hanging upside-down on the jungle gym; Buster and Francine are also on it.''
-'''Ladonna:''' And guess what? I had the exact right amount of change in my pocket! Isn't that amazing?
-'''Francine (sarcastically):''' It's amazing, all right. I'd even call it ''unbelieveable''.
-'''Ladonna:''' But...
-'''Muffy (at the top of the slide):''' Ladonna, that's the same hat you were wearing last week. ''(slides down)'' Believe me, I'd never forget it.
-'''Ladonna:''' No it isn't! It just looks the same. My other hat had a moth hole as big as a quarter, right here!
-''Ladonna points to where the moth hole supposedly is.''
-'''Francine (to Arthur):''' You talked us into giving her a second chance, and we did. Are you satisfied now? Come on!
-''Francine leaves; Muffy follows. Buster hops down to the ground from his previous position in the jungle gym.''
-'''Ladonna:''' You believe me, right Buster?
-'''Buster:''' Sorry. If you had said an alien stole your hat, I might've. But a raccoon? Raccoons don't need hats, they have fur!
-''Buster leaves; Arthur hops down to the ground.''
-'''Arthur:''' I told you, you didn't have to make up these stories.
-''As Arthur leaves, Ladonna sighs.''
-'''Ladonna:''' I didn't make it up! It's true, I swear! Look, I'll prove it to you! Meet me after school!
-''The scene cuts to D.W. pushing a snowball along the ground. She is building a snowman in the front yard of her house, and two snowballs were placed earlier. Bud is standing next to those two snowballs.''
-'''Bud:''' What do you get when you cross a rhino and a doggy? A very frightened mail carrier.
-''D.W. sighs heavily.''
-'''Bud:''' C'mon, that was funny! My mama laughed so hard, she got the hiccups.
-'''D.W.:''' Can you just help me build this snowman, please?
-''Bud puts down Rapty and helps D.W. lift the snowball she just made. They set down the snowball on top of the two that were already placed.''
-'''D.W.:''' Okay, where's the carrot?
-'''Bud:''' I ate it.
-'''D.W.:''' What?! That was his nose!
-'''Bud:''' It didn't look like a nose. It looked like a carrot.
-'''D.W.:''' Well, what are we going to use now?!
-''Bud looks around the front yard. He picks up a small stone and sticks it into the top snowball to serve as a nose.''
-'''D.W.:''' That looks terrible.
-'''Bud:''' Don't make fun of his nose!
-''D.W. sighs.''
-'''Bud (to snowman):''' She didn't mean it.
-''A snowball flies from the right of the screen towards the left, knocking down the top snowball from the snowman. D.W. gasps. The camera moves to the right, showing the Tibble Twins standing near a pile of small snowballs in the front yard. The Tibbles laugh and high-five each other.''
-'''Bud (angrily):''' Hey!
-''Bud walks towards the Tibble Twins; D.W. tries to stop him.''
-'''D.W.:''' Bud! No, wait! You don't understand, those are Tibbles!
-'''Bud (angrily):''' You put his head back on right now!
-'''Tommy:''' ''(picks up a snowball)'' Oh, yeah? Who's going to make me?!
-'''Bud:''' I will, by giving you the Bud Compson Power Stare!
-'''Tommy (sarcastically):''' Did you hear that, Tommy? He's going to stare at us.
-'''Timmy (sarcastically):''' Ooh, I'm so afraid!
-''Timmy and Tommy laugh; Bud opens his eyes and stares at the Tibbles in an unsettling way, causing the Tibbles to stop. Tommy gasps briefly.''
-'''Tommy:''' That is kind of strange-looking...
-'''Timmy:''' Doesn't he have to blink?
-''The camera zooms into Bud's eyes.''
-'''Timmy:''' Blink! Blink already!
-'''Tommy:''' I feel cold!
-'''Timmy:''' Let's get out of here!
-''Timmy and Tommy run away from Arthur's house. As they leave, D.W. laughs and jumps up and down. Bud smiles.''
-'''D.W.:''' How did you do that?
-''D.W. and Bud walk back to their snowman.''
-'''Bud:''' I've been having staring contests with my brothers and sisters since I was two. I never lose.
-''Bud picks up the snowball that was knocked off earlier.''
-'''D.W.:''' Bud Compson, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
-''D.W. helps Bud put the snowball back on the snowman. She takes the stone nose and sticks it into the snowman. The two friends smile.''
-''The scene cuts to Ladonna ringing a doorbell. Arthur and Ladonna are in front of Mrs. Radley's house.''
 '''Ladonna:''' ''(sighs annoyingly)'' Why isn't she home?