Arthur Sells Out/Transcript

Introduction

The outside of an Egyptian pyramid.

Announcer: Somewhere in the ancient ruins of Egypt lies a horde buried deep beneath the desert sands. An unnatural force, bent on destruction, not dead, not alive and nothing can stop them.   An explorer with a torch walks through a tunnel inside the pyramid. He finds a painting showing large cows attacking humans. Three mummified cows walk up to him.

Explorer: Ooaaah!     He runs away. The eyes on a sarcophagus light up. More moomies come out of sarcophagi.

Announcer: The new video game from the makers of Extreme Gamma Cube: “Dark Bunny, Revenge of the Moomies”. Yes, it’s moomies as you’ve never seem them before.    Dark Bunny appears in the pyramid. The moomies attack him.   They’re big. They’re bad. And they’re much much madder. “Dark Bunny, Revenge of the Moomies”.  

Giant stone letters spelling out the title fall down outside the pyramid. Dark Bunny lands on them. The moomies walk below.

Dark Bunny: It's milking time!

Arthur and Buster are watching the commercial on the Reads' TV.

Arthur+Buster: Cool!

Arthur: I've gotta have that.

Title Card: Arthur with Umbrella

Arthur and Buster are still sitting in front of the TV.

Buster: But how are you going to afford it?

Arthur: I could ask my parents for it, but they'll just say, if you really want it, you’ll have to buy it with your own money.

Arthur+Buster: (sigh)

Buster: If I bought everything I ever wanted, I'd have to have so many jobs, I'd never have time to play with the things I bought.

Arthur: Just like grown-ups.

Buster: Hey, I know how you can buy that game! Come on!

#

Arthur and Buster open the garage. There is a large box full of old toys inside.

Buster: Just like I figured. You are sitting on a gold mine

Arthur: I don't get it. It's a bunch of junk that no one play with anymore.

Buster: Hh!   Ssh! Not junk, merchandise.

#

Arthur sits at the computer. Buster looks through the box.

Buster: You can sell this stuff on the school newspaper's website. They've got a section for online ads. Hey, I remember these.  He takes out a small box. Then he takes out a plane model.    Anyway, you write a description of what you want to sell, set up a contact box at the paper, and submit it.

Arthur: But who’s gonna want this old stuff?

Buster: You'd be surprised. Some people’ll buy anything.  He runs through the room with the plane making airplane noises.   How much do you want for it?

Arthur: This is gonna be easy!

#

In the attic Arthur blow dust of an “Erector Set” box.

Arthur: (coughs)

Under the bed he finds an action figure of a cowboy. He puts it down with other cowboy action figure and writes “8 cowboys” in his notebook. Kate grabs one figure and smashed it on the floor. It looses one arm.

Kate: (giggles)   Arthur puts the figure in a box.    (cries)    Arthur gives the figure to Kate and writes “7 cowboys” in his notebook.

#

Arthur sits at the computer. His mom looks over his shoulder.

Mrs. Read: Nice job, honey.

D.W.: What'ya doing?

Arthur: Writing an ad. I'm selling my old toys on the school's online paper.    D.W. takes a stuffed hippopotamus out of the toy boy.

D.W.: Pee-yew! I hope whoever buys this stuff likes stinky toys.

Arthur: Hey!     He takes the hippo away.

Mrs. Read: D.W.!

D.W.: Okay, okay, but that hippo needs a bath.    Arthur types on the computer.

Arthur: “For sale, lots of old toys. If interested, e-mail ToyGuy22.”    He clicks ‘submit’.

#

A while later Arthur runs to the computer and clicks on the e-mail icon.

Computer: “ToyGuy22, you have no mail.”

Arthur: (sighs)

A while later he clicks again.

Computer: “ToyGuy22, you have no mail.”  

Arthur: (sighs)

A while later he clicks continuously.

Computer: “No mail.”    “No mail.”      “No mail.”    “No mail.”

Arthur: I don't get it, why isn't anything selling?

#

Arthur, Buster and Muffy sit in the Sugar Bowl.

Muffy: I'll tell you why. There's no oomph. No pazazz. You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.

Buster: I told you Muffy would be able to help.

Arthur: But I'm selling toys.

Muffy: Exactly. „For sale, lots of old toys”. Ho-hum, you'll never make a sale with that pitch.

Arthur: I thought it was okay.

Muffy: "Okay" doesn't move merchandise. You need “spectacular”. Who’s is your target market? What about product branding? Where's the eye candy?

Arthur: Eye candy?

Muffy: Boy, do I have my work cut out for me!

#

In the Reads’ house Muffy puts a white blanket on a table and a car on top of it. She takes a photograph.

Muffy: A picture is worth a hundred words.

Arthur: You mean a thousand.

Muffy: Nah, this camera only has three megapixels.    She takes another photo.

#

Mrs. Read uploads the photographs on the web. Muffy sits at the computer.

Muffy: Layout is important. An ad’s gotta be easy to read with bright colors that grab the buyer's attention.

#

Muffy paces in Arthur’s room.

Muffy: Now description. Adjectives are key, but you can’t say just anything. You need to know the lingo.    She takes a yoyo out of the box.   For instance, you don't say “old”, you say “retro”.     She takes a toy car.   You don't say “banged-up”, you say “well-loved”.     She throws the car aside.   And if something's a total wreck, you say “needs TLC" or "handyman special".     Arthur takes notes.

 #

Arthur sits on the computer. He gets electronic offers for his toys and sells them.