The forum pages are fully operational! See this link for the latest forum topics, where users can collaborate or discuss certain topics in one place!
Background Blues/Transcript
Introduction
A futuristic version of Arthur is working on what looks like a tablet computer, which creates a hologram of a tower in front of him. A robot dog jumps into his lap.
R4: Hi, Hal. How's it going, boy? A futuristic D.W. floats into the room.
3W: (giggles) Look out, R4! She knocks him over. The hologram disappears.
R4: 3W!!
A futuristic Mrs. Read is talking to a futuristic Bitzi Baxter on a video phone in the kitchen.
Mother: And I got the kids’ mittens on sale for only three million dollars!
R4: Mom, 3W deleted my hologram!
Mother: Why don't you do your homework instead of fighting with 3W?
R4 sits at a computer in his room. He presses the “homework” key.
Computer: Homework done. 3W comes in.
3W: R4, will you play virtual flingy with me? Please, please, please, pleease?
R4: All right, quit gleebing!
R4 and 3W stand in the living room wearing virtual goggles. They pretend to throw something.
R4: Hng.
3W: Stop throwing it so hard. You're hurting me!
R4: No, I'm not! It's all in your imagination. The mother comes in.
Mother: All right, you two. I want you to sit on the barkazoid and watch a datagram.
The kids sit down. The mother gets a data carrier from a shelf with a picture of the present-day Arthur and the label “53B”. She puts it into a machine.
R4: What is it?
Mother: It belonged to your great-grandfather. They used to call them videos. You can see what life was like in ancient times.
The machine creates a projection of the “Family Photo” title card with the title “Background Blues”.
Cut to the actual title card.
Title Card: Family Photo
Mr. Ratburn points to a family tree on the blackboard.
Mr. Ratburn: For next week, I’d like you to research your family history and present it to the class. I found out some very interesting things about the Ratburns. As we can see, the Ratburn line can be traced far back into history.
The kids have a fantasy of Mr. Ratburn standing on a snowy plain dressed like Napoleon.
Napoleon Ratburn: Travaillez plus! Travaillez plus! [Subtitle: Work Harder! Work Harder!] The kids in French uniforms are setting up a cannon.
Arthur: What?
Another fantasy shows Mr. Ratburn sitting on a throne wearing a toga and a laurel wreath while the kids are creating a marble statue of him.
Ratburn Cesar: Laborate plus diligente! [Subtitle: Work Harder!]
In ancient Egypt the kids are pulling a huge stone block. Mr. Ratburn is dressed like a pharaoh. He creates a speech bubble with Egyptian hieroglyphs. [Subtitle: Work Harder!]
The fantasies end.
Mr. Ratburn: And so I’ve learned that the Ratburns wouldn’t be where they are today without a lot of hard work. Let’s see what you find out.
#
The kids are painting in art class.
Muffy: I can't wait to get started. I bet that I'll find lots of kings, queens and princesses in the Crosswire family.
Francine: Yeah, I’m sure I'll find some really famous Frenskys. Maybe one was a really important explorer. She has a fantasy of an older version of herself riding in a canoe. What if my great-grandmother discovered the land route to the Pacific Ocean?
Muffy: Sorry, Francine, but I think Lewis and Clark did that.
Francine: Oh, well. Maybe she helped them. In her fantasy Lewis and Clark replace her in the canoe.
Clark: (pants) have to stop, Lewis. I can barely move my arms.
Lewis: You said it, Clark. I'm bushed. A (nonanthropomorphic) bear stands on the bank.
Clark: A bear! We're done for!
Lewis: You're right, Clark! This is the end! An older version of Francine in a dress and apron appears beside the bear.
Ma Frensky: Keep your shirts on, boys!
Lewis+Clark: It's Ma Frensky! Ma Frensky and the bear wrestle on the ground.
Ma Frensky: (Take that! Take that!)
Lewis+Clark: (Go, Ma Frensky! Get him! Come on!) Ma Frensky pins the bear to the ground. It stops struggling.
Ma Frensky: One, two, three, four, five… six, seven, eight, nine, ten! I win! She and the bear get up and shake hands. Then the bear leaves. Now I want you boys to follow this route till you hit the Pacific Ocean.
Lewis: Great idea!
Clark: Why didn't we think of that?
Ma Frensky: And stay out of trouble, you hear?!
The fantasy ends.
Muffy: bet my ancestor gave your ancestor a medal for being so brave. He was probably the president at the time.
Francine: Oh yeah? Well, I bet my relatives were the presidents before and after him.
Arthur: You guys, it's not a contest.
Buster: Yeah, I'm sure we're all related to some really interesting people
#
Buster has dinner with his mother.
Buster: Grandpa was a tollbooth operator? Wow! And what did his father do?
Mrs. Baxter: (sighs) I don't know what my grandfather did. I never asked him. Now I really wish I had.
Buster: I'll check in the library. I bet I can find some stuff about him there
#
On a microform reader in the library Arthur looks at a black and white image of a man in a cheese shop. Buster sits beside him.
Arthur: Cool! My great-uncle owned a cheese shop. That makes three uncles I found so far.
Buster: Gee. I'd settle for a second cousin. I haven't found anything about my ancestors. Muffy approaches.
Muffy: Hi, guys. Do you know where the Crosswire section is?
Arthur: Huh?
Buster: Huh?
Muffy: Oh, never mind, I'll just ask Miss Turner.
Miss Turner checks her computer.
Miss Turner: No, I'm sorry. We don't seem to have any books on the Crosswires.
Muffy: But this is a library. You’re supposed to have books on important people. Francine comes with a paper.
Francine: Hey, Muffy. Guess what I just found out. My grandfather owned a castle.
Muffy: Really?
Francine: Yep. There's an article on it in this paper. What d'you find out?
Muffy: Oh, the Crosswires are too important to be in this public library. We have our own private archives.
#
At the Crosswire mansion. Muffy is holding a shoebox while her mother is knitting on the couch and her father is reading a newspaper.
Muffy: This is it? But where are the books about us, and what about the family jewels?
Mrs. Crosswire: Oh, there’s nothing like that. We're just plain folks, honey.
Muffy: Mother, how can you say such a thing?
Mr. Crosswire: You should visit your great-aunt, Olga Crump. She'll know some interesting things about the family.
#
Francine, Arthur and Buster stand in front of the ice-cream shop. Buster is holding a battered lunchbox.
Buster: It's my grandfather's lunchbox. My mom found it last night.
Arthur: At least now you have a visual aid.
Buster: Yeah, for the world's shortest report! I can't even open it. It's stuck.
The Crosswire limousine stops beside them.
Muffy: Hi, guys! How's the report going, Francine?
Francine: Great! I just learned that my grandfather's grandfather was an adviser to President Lincoln.
Muffy: Oh… Well, I'm off to visit my great-aunt. She's a princess. Bye! The limousine drives on. It wasn't really a lie. She could be a princess. Wait a minute! She's too old to be a princess. She'd have to be a queen! And if she’s a queen then maybe I’m… a princess!
In her imagination she runs up to an old lady with a crown sitting in front of a castle that vaguely resembles Saint Basil’s cathedral in Moscow. She bends her knee.
Muffy: I'm sorry I'm late, Your Highness. The limo had a flat.
Queen Olga: Is that you, Anastasia?
Muffy: No. It's Muffy!
Queen Olga: Ah, well, you'll do. Crown her! The queen’s two guard put a crown on Muffy’s head. The Muffy and the queen walk up the stairs to the castle.
Muffy: So I'm actually the long-lost princess of Translatvia? Cool!
The limousine stops in front of Olga Crump’s house. Bailey opens the door.
Muffy: Oh no! Are you sure this is the right address? In front of her is a ramshackle house with garden gnomes and plastic flamingos in the yard.
#
Muffy I sitting in Olga Crump’s living room.
Olga Crump: The Crosswires used to sell used horses, and after that it was used carts. And now it's used cars! (chuckles) She holds up a garden gnome. Er, this is Juniper. I thought you might want him for your report.
Muffy: Thanks. Francine probably has something from Abraham Lincoln!
#
Francine is sitting in Granpa Frensky’s kitchen holding a black-and-white photograph of a barber.
Grandpa Frensky: And Vingal Frensky advised Abe Lincoln to trim his beard, and guess what, he did! Want the photo to show your class?
Francine: Oh, that's all right, Grandpa. I'll, um, describe it to them.
Grandpa Frensky: How about this one? It's of the Hamburger Castle I used to own. It shows a young man standing in front of a building that looks like a castle.
Francine: Hm... okay.
Grandpa Frensky: I have more stuff in the garage. I think there's a box up there with some of Lincoln's beard. He goes out. Francine covers the bottom half of the photograph with her hand.
Francine: There. Now it looks like the type of castle Muffy's family might have. I'll say the bottom was cut off.