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Difference between revisions of "S.W.E.A.T./Transcript"

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(Transcript. Feel free to make any additions/corrections. Thanks!)
 
 
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<p class="MsoNormal">
'''[[Arthur Read]]''': Good morning. Today's show is all about stress. What is stress? Stress is, er, when you feel a lot of pressure to...Buster!
'''Arthur''': Good morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Today's show is all about stress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What IS stress?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Stress is, er, when you feel a lot of pressure to...Buster!</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Sorry! I thought you needed cooling off. You look sweaty.</p>
'''[[Buster Baxter]]''': Sorry! I thought you needed cooling off. You look sweaty.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Um...anyway, stress is, er...a feeling you get like when you're facing a really big...</p>
'''Arthur''': Um...anyway, stress is, er...a feeling you get like when you're facing a really big...


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Bear?</p>
'''Buster''': Bear?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': I was going to say test! You're not being very helpful.</p>
'''Arthur''': I was going to say test! You're not being very helpful.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': OK, but if I were you, I'd be more stressed about a bear than a test.</p>
'''Buster''': OK, but if I were you, I'd be more stressed about a bear than a test.


<p class="MsoNormal">[BEAR GRUNTS]</p>
[BEAR GRUNTS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': AHH!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Whoo! That was close! Anyway...We all get stressed out sometimes, but there are different ways to deal with... AHH!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>D.W.! When did you learn how to fly a helicopter?</p>
'''Arthur''': AHH! Whoo! That was close! Anyway...We all get stressed out sometimes, but there are different ways to deal with... AHH! D.W.! When did you learn how to fly a helicopter?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''D.W.''': Is that what this is? I thought it was a ride!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I want my quarter back!</p>
'''D.W.''': Is that what this is? I thought it was a ride! I want my quarter back!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Don't touch anything!</p>
'''Arthur''': Don't touch anything!


<p class="MsoNormal">[ALARM BEEPS]</p>
[ALARM BEEPS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''D.W.''': Oopsie!</p>
'''D.W.''': Oopsie!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show!</p>
'''Arthur''': You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show!
==Episode==


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Buster''': Are we learning about sweat today? If we are, I came prepared. [HE SNIFFS]
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Nigel Ratburn''': No, Buster. S.W.E.A.T. is an acronym for the Stoddard-Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test - a standardized test you'll all be taking.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Are we learning about sweat today?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>If we are, I came prepared. [HE SNIFFS]</p>
'''Arthur''': What's it on?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nigel Ratburn''': No, Buster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>S.W.E.A.T. is an acronym for the Stoddard Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test - a standardised test you'll all be taking.</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Will we be graded?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': What's it on?!</p>
'''Nigel Ratburn''': Calm down. It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar, so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Will we be graded?!</p>
'''Arthur''': "If Sarah has seven apples, and she gives Sadie five of them..."


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nigel Ratburn''': Calm down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar, so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home.</p>
'''Buster''': Why is Sarah giving apples away?


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Arthur''': It doesn't say. "then Sarah gets another apple from Sam..."
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Buster''': Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah. She's up to something.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': If Sarah has seven apples, and she gives Sadie five of them...</p>
'''Arthur''': It's just a math problem.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Why is Sarah giving apples away?</p>
'''Buster''': That's probably what Sarah told Sadie. I bet those apples are rotten.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': It doesn't say...then Sarah gets another apple from Sam...</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': I just took one of the multiple-choice vocabulary tests. It wasn't so bad.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>She's up to something.</p>
'''Arthur''': Um...did you read the instructions?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': It's just a math problem.</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Yeah, I glanced at them. Why?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': That's probably what Sarah told Sadie. I bet those apples are rotten.</p>
'''Arthur''': Because it says you're supposed to use a #2 pencil and not to make any extra marks on the test. See?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': I just took one of the multiple-choice vocabulary tests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>It wasn't so bad.</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': I don't have any #2 pencils.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Um...did you read the instructions?</p>
'''Arthur''': Take one of mine.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Yeah, I glanced at them. Why?</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B. What happens if I use one of those?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Because it says you're supposed to use a #2 pencil and not to make any extra marks on the test. See?</p>
'''Binky''': Then ye have to take it again! And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you. Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like preschoolers when faced with the S.W.E.A.T. A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': I don't have any #2 pencils.</p>
'''Buster''': Why are you talking like that?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Take one of mine.</p>
'''Binky''': Don't ye know it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Arr! Practice all ye like, but when the real test is before ya, then you'll feel the jaws o' fear tightening all around ya! Ha-ha-ha! [COUGHS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What happens if I use one of those?</p>
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Binky''': Then ye have to take it again!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like pre-schoolers when faced with the S.W.E.A.T..<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole.</p>
'''Arthur''': [COPYING THE TEACHER] "OK, students. You may open your test booklets now."


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Why are you talking like that?</p>
[MOTOR REVVING]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Binky''': Don't ye know it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Arr!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Practice all ye like, but when the real test is before ya, then you'll feel the jaws o' fear tightening all around ya!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Ha-ha-ha! [COUGHS]</p>
'''Arthur''': Dad, Would you do that later? I'm trying to take a test! "Now, you may open your..."


<p class="MsoNormal">[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]</p>
'''Mary Moo Cow''': Three, three, three is fun. It's more than one or two...


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Arthur''': D.W.! You have to turn that off. I'm trying to study.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''D.W.''': But it's my TV time. Mom! Arthur's not respecting my rights!
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': OK, students. You may open your test booklets now.</p>
'''Arthur''': Fine.


<p class="MsoNormal">[MOTOR REVVING]</p>
'''Mary Moo Cow''': This song won't leave your head Five, five, five is sweet...


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Dad! Would you do that later? I'm trying to take a test!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Now, you may open your...</p>
'''Arthur''': Mom! D.W.'s making too much noise and I'm...


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mary Moo Cow''': # Three, three, three is fun<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span># It's more than one or two... #</p>
[BLENDER MOTOR WHIZZES]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': D.W.! You have to turn that off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I'm trying to study.</p>
[ARTHUR SIGHS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''D.W.''': But it's my TV time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Mom! Arthur's not respecting my rights!</p>
'''Arthur''': "Okay. You may now..."


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Fine.</p>
[DRIPPING]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mary Moo Cow''': # ..This song won't leave your head<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span># Five, five, five is sweet... #</p>
[ALARM BUZZES]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Mom! DW's making too much noise and I'm...</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Well, this is it. S.W.E.A.T. day.


<p class="MsoNormal">[LIQUIDISER MOTOR WHIZZES]</p>
[DOTS BARKS]


<p class="MsoNormal">[ARTHUR SIGHS]</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Sorry, Dots. You can't come with me.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''':<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">   </span>OK. You may now...</p>
[DOTS WHIMPERS]


<p class="MsoNormal">[DRIPPING]</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': "Why not?" Because you're not a #2 pencil. Now, where did I put that one Arthur gave me? [GASPS] I can't find it! Arthur! I lost the #2 pencil you gave me. Do you have another?


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Arthur''': No. But I just passed a few back there. Watch out for the erasers!
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''#2 Pencils''': [CHANTING]: Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two...
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">[ALARM BUZZES]</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Aah!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Well, this is it. SWEAT day.</p>
'''#2 Pencils''': Two, two, two, two, two, two...


<p class="MsoNormal">[DOTS BARKS]</p>
'''Buster''': OK. "Sarah gives Sadie five apples" "Thank you, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me these apples, but I don't care, 'cause I'm a pig!" Then Sam flies in with another apple. Brrrr! "Activating apple defense system! Take that, you rotten fruitmonger!"


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Sorry, Dots. You can't come with me.</p>
'''Arthur''': Will you stop playing with those silly dolls?


<p class="MsoNormal">[DOTS WHIMPERS]</p>
'''Buster''': Sam isn't a doll; he's an action figure. Aww, you've hurt his feelings.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': "Why not?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Because you're not a #2 pencil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Now, where did I put that one Arthur gave me? [GASPS]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I can't find it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Arthur! I lost the #2 pencil you gave me. Do you have another?</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Oh, great. You guys are here. Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils. That way you can give me one if I forget to bring mine.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': No. But I just passed a few back there. Watch out for the erasers!</p>
'''Brain''': Hey, guys. What's going on?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''#2 Pencils''': [CHANTING]: Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two...</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Pencils! Take pencils.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': AHH!</p>
'''Arthur''': Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you want me to fail!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''#2 Pencils''': Two, two, two, two, two, two...</p>
'''Brain''': Fail what?


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Buster''': The S.W.E.A.T. test, of course. Aren't you nervous about it?
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Brain''': Why should I be? It's just reviewing stuff we already know.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': OK. Sarah gives Sadie five apples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Thank you, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me these apples, but I don't care, cos I'm a pig!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Then Sam flies in with another apple. Brrrr!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Activating apple defence system! Take that, you rotten fruitmonger!</p>
'''Arthur''': But what if we forget what we already know?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Will you stop playing with those silly dolls?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Sam isn't a doll. He's an action figure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Ah, you've hurt his feelings.</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Yeah, Binky said the fear could swallow us whole!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Oh, great. You guys are here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>That way you can give me one if I forget to bring mine.</p>
'''Brain''': You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Hey, guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What's going on?</p>
'''Buster''': Easy for you to say.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Pencils! Take pencils!</p>
'''Arthur''': Yeah, you never get anxious about tests.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you WANT me to fail!</p>
'''Brain''': That's not true. There's one test that makes me Very anxious. A blood test! Ha-ha! Get it?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Fail what?</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Brain, This isn't a laughing matter! Here, don't you dare forget it.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': The S.W.E.A.T. test, of course. Aren't you nervous about it?</p>
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Orange, Buster?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Why should I be? It's just reviewing stuff we already know.</p>
'''Buster''': Is this a word problem? The answer is D, all of the above.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': But what if we forget what we already know?</p>
'''Arthur''': George, would you knock it off? You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily! Can't you see I'm trying to study?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Yeah! Binky said the fear could swallow us whole!</p>
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Nigel, I think this S.W.E.A.T. test has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters. Might I suggest something?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax.</p>
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Who here gets butterflies in the belly, right before a big game? For me, it's when I play the keyboard in front of an audience. Anybody else get the willies before performing?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Easy for you to say.</p>
'''Binky''': Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe! I've got the scar to prove it!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Yeah, you never get anxious about tests.</p>
'''Nigel Ratburn''': Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': That's not true. There's one test that makes me VERY anxious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>A blood test! Ha-ha! Get it?</p>
'''Binky''': Okay.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Brain! This isn't a laughing matter!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Here, don't you dare forget it!</p>
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': The point is, we all feel stress sometimes. Here's one way I like to deal with it. Everyone lie on your backs. You too, Alan.


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Brain''': All right, but I think this is all rather unnecessary.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Follow your breath in and out. Be aware of your toes. Are they tense at all? Wiggle them a little. Now, move up to your ankles and your calves. Feel all that tension in your head just melt away. You can open your eyes now.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Orange, Buster?</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Wow. I feel great!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Is this a word problem?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>The answer is D - all of the above!</p>
'''Arthur:''' Me too!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': George, would you knock it off?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Can't you see I'm trying to study?!</p>
'''Buster''': Wait! I still have some tension in my ear. Ah! Now, it's gone.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Nigel, I think this S.W.E.A.T. test has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Might I suggest something?</p>
'''Mrs. MacGrady:''' Whenever those heebie-jeebies...


<p class="MsoNormal">
[SNORING]
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': ...start playing patty-whack with your nerves, you just...
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Who here gets butterflies in the belly, right before a big game?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>For me, it's when I play the keyboard in front of an audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Anybody else get the willies before performing?</p>
'''Brain''': [SNORES] Huh? What'd I miss?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Binky''': Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I've got the scar to prove it!</p>
'''Arthur''': Just the whole relaxation class.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nigel Ratburn''': Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over!</p>
'''Brain''': Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Binky''': OK.</p>
'''Brain''': 17...18...19...20. Still got half an hour before school. Just enough time for another practice test. Huh. Well, that was a cinch. And now, I'll just check the answers in the back. 1 is A. Check. 2 is C. Check. 3 is also C... Wait! That can't be right! OK, one wrong. That's not so bad. 4 is...D? And 5 is...B? How is that possible?! [HE GASPS] I skipped a question! Ugh! Why won't you erase?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': The point is, we all feel stress sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Here's one way I like to deal with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Everyone lie on your backs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>You too, Alan.</p>
'''Choice D''': B always puts up a fight. Give it some muscle!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': All right, but I think this is all rather unnecessary.</p>
'''Choice B''': Ooh, yeah! Right there! That's where it itches.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Follow your breath in and out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Be aware of your toes. Are they tense at all?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Wiggle them a little. Now, move up to your ankles and your calves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Feel all that tension in your head just melt away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>You can open your eyes now.</p>
[PAPER TEARS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Wow. I feel great!</p>
'''Wilkins''': It worked, Stoddard! He fell right into our trap!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Me too!</p>
'''Stoddard''': By Jove, we've failed another one! High five, Wills!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Wait! I still have some tension in my ear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Ah! Now, it's gone.</p>
[ALARM RINGS]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Whenever those heebie-jeebies...</p>
[HE GASPS]


<p class="MsoNormal">[SNORING]</p>
'''Arthur''': Brain, are you okay?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Mrs. MacGrady''': ..start playing patty-whack with your nerves, you just...</p>
'''Brain''': Me? Sure I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? Just because I skipped a practice question doesn't mean I'll skip one now. Right? Oh, no! Where's my pencil? I don't have a pencil!


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': [SNORES] Huh? What'd I miss?</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Here, I brought extras.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Just the whole relaxation class.</p>
'''Buster''': Mr. Ratburn, could we just wait a minute or two? Brain, look at me. Take a deep breath.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right?</p>
'''Brain''': Ah...huh.


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Buster''': Feel your toes. Say, "Relax, little toes."
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">
'''Brain''': Okay. Relaxing phalanges.
</p>


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': 17...18...19...20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Still got half an hour before school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Just enough time for another practice test.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Huh. Well, that was a cinch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>And now, I'll just check the answers in the back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>1 is A. Check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>2 is C. Check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>3 is also C...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Wait! That can't be right!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>OK, one wrong. That's not so bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>4 is...D?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>And 5 is...B?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>How is THAT possible?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>[HE GASPS] I skipped a question!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Ugh! Why won't you erase?</p>
'''Buster''': Feel all that stress leaving your body. Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom and out of the school. Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Option D''': B always puts up a fight. Give it some muscle!</p>
'''Nigel Ratburn''': [CLEARS THROAT]


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Option B''': Ooh, yeah! Right there! That's where it itches.</p>
'''Buster''': Okay, you can open your eyes now.


<p class="MsoNormal">[PAPER TEARS]</p>
'''Sue Ellen''': Better?


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Wilkins''': It worked, Stoddard! He fell right into our trap!</p>
'''Brain''': Thanks, guys. I couldn't have asked for better relaxation tutors.


<p class="MsoNormal">'''Stoddard''': By Jove, we've failed another one! High five, Wills!</p>
'''Nigel Ratburn''': OK, students. You may start your test now.
 
<p class="MsoNormal">[ALARM RINGS]</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">[HE GASPS]</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">
</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Arthur''': Brain, are you OK?</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Me? Sure I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Just because I skipped a practice question doesn't mean I'll skip one now. Right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Oh, no! Where's my pencil?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I don't have a pencil!</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Here, I brought extras.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Mr Ratburn, could we just wait a minute or two?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Brain, look at me. Take a deep breath.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Ah...huh.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Feel your toes. Say, "Relax, little toes."</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': OK. Relaxing phalanges.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': Feel all that stress leaving your body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom and out of the school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nigel Ratburn''': Ahem.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Buster''': OK, you can open your eyes now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span></p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Sue Ellen''': Better?</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Brain''': Thanks, guys. I couldn't have asked for better relaxation tutors.</p>
 
<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nigel Ratburn''': OK, students. You may start your test now.</p>
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:A to Z]]
[[Category:Season 15 transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 18:09, 23 November 2022

Arthur Read: Good morning. Today's show is all about stress. What is stress? Stress is, er, when you feel a lot of pressure to...Buster!

Buster Baxter: Sorry! I thought you needed cooling off. You look sweaty.

Arthur: Um...anyway, stress is, er...a feeling you get like when you're facing a really big...

Buster: Bear?

Arthur: I was going to say test! You're not being very helpful.

Buster: OK, but if I were you, I'd be more stressed about a bear than a test.

[BEAR GRUNTS]

Arthur: AHH! Whoo! That was close! Anyway...We all get stressed out sometimes, but there are different ways to deal with... AHH! D.W.! When did you learn how to fly a helicopter?

D.W.: Is that what this is? I thought it was a ride! I want my quarter back!

Arthur: Don't touch anything!

[ALARM BEEPS]

D.W.: Oopsie!

Arthur: You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show!

Episode[edit]

Buster: Are we learning about sweat today? If we are, I came prepared. [HE SNIFFS]

Nigel Ratburn: No, Buster. S.W.E.A.T. is an acronym for the Stoddard-Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test - a standardized test you'll all be taking.

Arthur: What's it on?

Sue Ellen: Will we be graded?

Nigel Ratburn: Calm down. It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar, so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home.

Arthur: "If Sarah has seven apples, and she gives Sadie five of them..."

Buster: Why is Sarah giving apples away?

Arthur: It doesn't say. "then Sarah gets another apple from Sam..."

Buster: Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah. She's up to something.

Arthur: It's just a math problem.

Buster: That's probably what Sarah told Sadie. I bet those apples are rotten.

Sue Ellen: I just took one of the multiple-choice vocabulary tests. It wasn't so bad.

Arthur: Um...did you read the instructions?

Sue Ellen: Yeah, I glanced at them. Why?

Arthur: Because it says you're supposed to use a #2 pencil and not to make any extra marks on the test. See?

Sue Ellen: I don't have any #2 pencils.

Arthur: Take one of mine.

Sue Ellen: Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B. What happens if I use one of those?

Binky: Then ye have to take it again! And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you. Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like preschoolers when faced with the S.W.E.A.T. A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole.

Buster: Why are you talking like that?

Binky: Don't ye know it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Arr! Practice all ye like, but when the real test is before ya, then you'll feel the jaws o' fear tightening all around ya! Ha-ha-ha! [COUGHS]

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Arthur: [COPYING THE TEACHER] "OK, students. You may open your test booklets now."

[MOTOR REVVING]

Arthur: Dad, Would you do that later? I'm trying to take a test! "Now, you may open your..."

Mary Moo Cow: Three, three, three is fun. It's more than one or two...

Arthur: D.W.! You have to turn that off. I'm trying to study.

D.W.: But it's my TV time. Mom! Arthur's not respecting my rights!

Arthur: Fine.

Mary Moo Cow: This song won't leave your head Five, five, five is sweet...

Arthur: Mom! D.W.'s making too much noise and I'm...

[BLENDER MOTOR WHIZZES]

[ARTHUR SIGHS]

Arthur: "Okay. You may now..."

[DRIPPING]

[ALARM BUZZES]

Sue Ellen: Well, this is it. S.W.E.A.T. day.

[DOTS BARKS]

Sue Ellen: Sorry, Dots. You can't come with me.

[DOTS WHIMPERS]

Sue Ellen: "Why not?" Because you're not a #2 pencil. Now, where did I put that one Arthur gave me? [GASPS] I can't find it! Arthur! I lost the #2 pencil you gave me. Do you have another?

Arthur: No. But I just passed a few back there. Watch out for the erasers!

#2 Pencils: [CHANTING]: Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two...

Sue Ellen: Aah!

#2 Pencils: Two, two, two, two, two, two...

Buster: OK. "Sarah gives Sadie five apples" "Thank you, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me these apples, but I don't care, 'cause I'm a pig!" Then Sam flies in with another apple. Brrrr! "Activating apple defense system! Take that, you rotten fruitmonger!"

Arthur: Will you stop playing with those silly dolls?

Buster: Sam isn't a doll; he's an action figure. Aww, you've hurt his feelings.

Sue Ellen: Oh, great. You guys are here. Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils. That way you can give me one if I forget to bring mine.

Brain: Hey, guys. What's going on?

Sue Ellen: Pencils! Take pencils.

Arthur: Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you want me to fail!

Brain: Fail what?

Buster: The S.W.E.A.T. test, of course. Aren't you nervous about it?

Brain: Why should I be? It's just reviewing stuff we already know.

Arthur: But what if we forget what we already know?

Sue Ellen: Yeah, Binky said the fear could swallow us whole!

Brain: You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax.

Buster: Easy for you to say.

Arthur: Yeah, you never get anxious about tests.

Brain: That's not true. There's one test that makes me Very anxious. A blood test! Ha-ha! Get it?

Sue Ellen: Brain, This isn't a laughing matter! Here, don't you dare forget it.

Mrs. MacGrady: Orange, Buster?

Buster: Is this a word problem? The answer is D, all of the above.

Arthur: George, would you knock it off? You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily! Can't you see I'm trying to study?

Mrs. MacGrady: Nigel, I think this S.W.E.A.T. test has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters. Might I suggest something?

Mrs. MacGrady: Who here gets butterflies in the belly, right before a big game? For me, it's when I play the keyboard in front of an audience. Anybody else get the willies before performing?

Binky: Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe! I've got the scar to prove it!

Nigel Ratburn: Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over.

Binky: Okay.

Mrs. MacGrady: The point is, we all feel stress sometimes. Here's one way I like to deal with it. Everyone lie on your backs. You too, Alan.

Brain: All right, but I think this is all rather unnecessary.

Mrs. MacGrady: Follow your breath in and out. Be aware of your toes. Are they tense at all? Wiggle them a little. Now, move up to your ankles and your calves. Feel all that tension in your head just melt away. You can open your eyes now.

Sue Ellen: Wow. I feel great!

Arthur: Me too!

Buster: Wait! I still have some tension in my ear. Ah! Now, it's gone.

Mrs. MacGrady: Whenever those heebie-jeebies...

[SNORING]

Mrs. MacGrady: ...start playing patty-whack with your nerves, you just...

Brain: [SNORES] Huh? What'd I miss?

Arthur: Just the whole relaxation class.

Brain: Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right?

Brain: 17...18...19...20. Still got half an hour before school. Just enough time for another practice test. Huh. Well, that was a cinch. And now, I'll just check the answers in the back. 1 is A. Check. 2 is C. Check. 3 is also C... Wait! That can't be right! OK, one wrong. That's not so bad. 4 is...D? And 5 is...B? How is that possible?! [HE GASPS] I skipped a question! Ugh! Why won't you erase?

Choice D: B always puts up a fight. Give it some muscle!

Choice B: Ooh, yeah! Right there! That's where it itches.

[PAPER TEARS]

Wilkins: It worked, Stoddard! He fell right into our trap!

Stoddard: By Jove, we've failed another one! High five, Wills!

[ALARM RINGS]

[HE GASPS]

Arthur: Brain, are you okay?

Brain: Me? Sure I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? Just because I skipped a practice question doesn't mean I'll skip one now. Right? Oh, no! Where's my pencil? I don't have a pencil!

Sue Ellen: Here, I brought extras.

Buster: Mr. Ratburn, could we just wait a minute or two? Brain, look at me. Take a deep breath.

Brain: Ah...huh.

Buster: Feel your toes. Say, "Relax, little toes."

Brain: Okay. Relaxing phalanges.

Buster: Feel all that stress leaving your body. Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom and out of the school. Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl.

Nigel Ratburn: [CLEARS THROAT]

Buster: Okay, you can open your eyes now.

Sue Ellen: Better?

Brain: Thanks, guys. I couldn't have asked for better relaxation tutors.

Nigel Ratburn: OK, students. You may start your test now.