Elwood City Turns 100!/Transcript

Elwood City Turns 100!

Writers: Peter K. Hirsch and Matthew Lane

Storyboard Artists: Jeremy O'Neill and Robert Yap

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At the founding ceremony of Elwood City, Jacob Katzenellenbogan is not happy with the statue of him.

Jacob K.: Now who is that supposed to be? My name has to L’s in it. Why did you make me so fat? Tear it down! Tear it down!

Henry Ford: Well, how do you like that, J.P.? Crazy old Jacob founded a city before we did.

J.P. Morgan: Mark my words, Henry. In one hundred years no one will know a place called Elwood City ever existed.

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Arthur practices singing.

Vicita: I haven’t heard such a horrible sound since Alberto and I gave the neighbors’ cat a bath.

D.W.: It’s like my Mary Moo Cow doll with only one battery.

Timmy: Hey, I bet I can sing worse than Arthur.     Pause.    No, I can’t.

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At the rehearsal everybody argues.

Muffy: They’ll pull themselves together. They just need a little pep talk.   May I? 

A student hands her a recorder. She blows a shrill note. Everybody is quiet. Muffy climbs on the stage and starts pacing up and down, holding the recorder like a baton. A military drum sounds.

Muffy: We were chosen out of fifteen schools to put on this show. But maybe they were wrong to pick us. Maybe they should have picked Mighty Mountain or Glenbrook. After all, would they be arguing? No, they’d be working together. Something we just can’t seem to do.

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Brain: Now if only the flying saucer would get here.

Binky: Don’t hold your breath. It was smashed to bits in the back of Francine’s garbage truck.

Arthur: Does Buster know?

Binky: Yeah. He’s locked himself in the janitor’s closet.

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Muffy Crosswire: Well, you haven't missed much. Just the worst third grade musical ever!

Francine Frensky: That's not what they think!

(audience laughing)

Arthur's Mom: And when he came out with that thing on his head, I thought I was going to die laughing!

Arthur's Dad: I'm really impressed. It's got humor, interesting facts, that very poetic piece about the bird.

Tommy Tibble: I like the part where that monster tore a hole in the wall.

Timmy Tibble: Was he a Grebe? He had feathers.