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| ==Introduction==
| | (Intertitle) |
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| ''Arthur sits at the kitchen table and reads a Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club book.''
| | The Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club |
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| '''Arthur:''' Did you ever start a book you can't put down until you’re done? When I start a Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club book, I just can't stop. ''His mom puts food in front of him which he eats while reading.'' (gasps)
| | Written by: [[Terence Taylor]] ---- Storyboard by: [[Angus Bungay]] |
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| ''Mrs. Read shakes her head.''
| | [[Francine Frensky]]: (V.O.) The Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club. |
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| ''Arthur sits in class reading the book. The bell rings and the other kids run out.''
| | [[Arthur Read]]: (yelping) Agh! |
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' Class dismissed! Arthur? Arthur!
| | (Back to the story) |
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| ''An upside down picture shows Arthur reading while he hangs upside down from the jungle gym. Two coins and a comb fall out of his pockets. When his glasses fall, he catches them just in time. The picture then turns right side up and Francine walks up to Arthur.''
| | [[David Read|Dad]]: Ta-da! By special request, a hearty breakfast of my world-famous Whoopee Waffles! |
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| '''Francine:''' Hey, Arthur... Arthur!
| | [[D.W. Read]], [[Jane Read|Mom]]: Whoopee Waffles! |
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| ''He ignores her.''
| | Arthur: Morning, Mom, Dad! Gotta run! |
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| ''At night, Arthur’s silhouette is seen as he reads under the blanket. His dad pulls the blanket away.''
| | (he bumps into his dad) |
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| '''Arthur:''' Augh!
| | Dad: Arthur... |
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| '''Mr. Read:''' For goodness sake, turn that light off and go to sleep.
| | D.W.: Whoopee! |
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| '''Arthur:''' Wait, Dad, I'm almost done. I can’t stop until I know how it... ''Mr. Read turns the flashlight off.'' …ends. | | === # === |
| | ''The kids wait in front of the library and talk about scary books.'' |
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| ==Title Card: Francine Bangs Gong==
| | '''Ms. Turner:''' E-hem. I’m afraid I have bad news. You won’t be able to check out the new Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club book today after all. In fact all of our Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club books have been removed from our shelves until further notice. |
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| ''Mr. Read serves a large plate of waffles to his wife, D.W. and Kate. Arthur is missing.'' | | '''Kids:''' ''(scream) They look like Edvard Munch’s painting.'' |
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| '''Mr. Read:''' Ta-da! By special request, a hearty breakfast of my world-famous whoopee-waffles. | | '''Ms. Turner:''' Shh! |
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| '''D.W.+Mrs. Read:''' Whoopee! Waffles! | | === # === |
| | ''Arthur and Buster have watched a news report about PAWS. '' |
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| ''Arthur hops in on one foot while tying the other shoe.'' | | '''Buster:''' Condition red, Arthur. If we ever want our pants scared off again, we’ve got to do something fast. ''Arthur stands still in shock.'' Arthur? |
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| '''Arthur:''' Morning, Mom, Dad, Gotta run! Whoops.
| | === # === |
| | ''Arthur,Buster, Francine and Brain lie in the grass and think.'' |
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| '''Mr. Read:''' Arthur!
| | '''Francine:''' What are we gonna do? It’s not fair. |
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| ''Arthur bumps into his dad and the waffles fly up into the air. Mr. Read manages to catch them on plates which he pushes over to his family.''
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| '''D.W.:''' Whoopee!
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| '''Mr. Read:''' I'm impressed, honey.
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| ''Mr. Read catches the last waffles on his own plate and sits down.''
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| '''Mrs. Read:''' Breakfast first.
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| '''Arthur:''' Oh, okay.
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| ''He sits down and puts a whole waffle in his mouth.''
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| '''Mrs. Read:''' Arthur, why are you in such a hurry?
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| ''Arthur chews fast and swallows.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Sorry, Mom! Got to get to the library fast to be first in line to get the new Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club book.
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| ''He runs out.''
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| '''Mrs. Read:''' The library? On a Saturday?
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| '''Mr. Read:''' Wow! Hard to argue with that.
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| '''D.W.:''' If he's not eating seconds, can I have his?
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur runs down the street.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Gotta hurry. Gotta get there first.
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| ''He turns around a corner and sees a long line of kids in front of the library.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Oh, no!
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| ''Arthur joins Buster, Francine, Muffy, Sue Ellen, Brain and Prunella at the end of the line.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Guess we should've met earlier.
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| '''Brain:''' Yeah, like three days ago.
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| '''Buster:''' Hey, maybe they're all just here to study.
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| ''Some kids turn around revealing Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club T-shirts.''
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| '''Arthur:''' I guess we could check out some of the old ones to read again.
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| '''Buster:''' Yeah, like “Curse Of The Mummy's Breath”! Hoo, that was really scary.
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| '''Francine:''' Or “Bones in The Attic”. Or the scariest of all: “Zombie Substitute Teacher”.
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| ''Dark clouds gather behind Francine. The kids suddenly stand in a foggy graveyard. A raven caws and a black cat growls and passes the kids.''
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| '''Brain:''' Look! They're opening.
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| ''The library doors slowly open with a loud creak. Lightning hits the weathervane on the roof.''
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| '''Kids:''' Ahhhh!
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| ''A cloaked figure floats through dense smoke that is coming out of the library. The smoke turns into scary faces, then dissipates to reveal Paige Turner.''
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| '''Miss Turner:''' A-hem. I’m afraid I have bad news. You won’t be able to check out the new Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club book today after all. In fact, all of our Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club books have been removed from our shelves until further notice.
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| ''The kids stare at her for a moment.''
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| '''Kids:''' (scream)
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| ''They look like Edvard Munch’s painting.''
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| '''Miss Turner:''' Shh!
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| ''She floats back into the library and the door slams shut.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster walk through town.''
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| '''Arthur:''' I don't get it. Who would want to get rid of our books?
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster watch TV in the Baxters’ living room.''
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| '''Newsman (on TV):''' In local news. A parents' group chased a series of children's books off the shelves of the public library today. Julie?
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| '''Newswoman (on TV):''' PAWS, P-A-W-S, that's Parents Against Weird Stories, say the scary stories are bad for kids. We tried to reach EA dePoe, the writer of the books, for comment - with no success. PAWS is having a rally for other concerned parents tomorrow in front of the library.
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| ''Buster turns off the TV.''
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| '''Buster:''' Condition red, Arthur. If we ever want our pants scared off again, we’ve got to do something fast.
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| ''He picks up the phone. Arthur stands frozen with shock.''
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| '''Buster:''' Arthur?
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur, Buster, Brain and Francine lie on their backs behind the library.''
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| '''Francine:''' What are we gonna do? It’s not fair! | |
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| '''Brain:''' Not much we ''can'' do. Generally speaking, minors have limited access to legal recourse or arbitration. | | '''Brain:''' Not much we ''can'' do. Generally speaking, minors have limited access to legal recourse or arbitration. |
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| ''Flashback: The four kids clean the garage. Buster balances a broomstick on his nose.'' | | ''Flashback: The four kids clean the garage. Buster balances a broomstick on his nose.'' |
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| '''Buster:''' Hey, look at me. Whoa! | | '''Buster:''' Hey, look at me. Whoa! ''He stumbles into Arthur who drops some boards. A bucket of paint falls over and spills. Francine is distracted and stumbles over a can while carrying a sack of trash.'' |
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| ''He stumbles into Arthur who drops some boards. A bucket of paint falls over and spills. Francine is distracted and stumbles over a can while carrying a sack of trash.'' | |
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| '''Francine:''' Ah! | | '''Francine:''' Ah! |
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| ''The flashback ends.'' | | ''Flashback ends.'' |
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| '''Francine:''' I remember. Nice going, Buster. | | '''Francine:''' I remember. Nice going, Buster. |
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| '''Brain:''' The next day. | | '''Brain:''' The next day. |
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| '''Arthur:''' Okay, but what about the time Buster needed help with math...?
| | === # === |
| | | ''Brain shows people at the bus stop a chart.'' |
| ''Flashback: Buster sits at a table with lots of books, thinking hard. Arthur and Francine look expectantly. They, Pal and Brain are holding signs saying “7” “x” “3” “=21”.''
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| '''Buster:''' Hm…
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| ''The flashback ends.''
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| '''Francine:''' Maybe Arthur's right. But what can we do?
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| '''Buster:''' I know! We can go on strike! No more homework till we get our books back! ''The others gape at him.'' Well, heh, it was worth a try.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur, Brain, Buster, Prunella and Francine sit in the Sugar Bowl.''
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| '''Brain:''' We must quantitatively demonstrate that we're not alone in our opinion.
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| '''Buster:''' Huh?
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| '''Arthur:''' We have to show PAWS that a lot of kids want their books back.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Muffy meets Sue Ellen, Buster, Arthur, Francine, Brain and Prunella coming down the street.'' | |
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| '''Muffy:''' (gasps)
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| '''Francine:''' I know - we should get signatures on a petition. That's what my mom did to save the old City Hall building.
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| ''Muffy hides in a doorway.''
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| '''Sue Ellen:''' Do we have enough time? They meet tomorrow.
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| '''Arthur:''' There’s only one way to find out.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''The next day, Buster stands at the Reads' front gate wearing a boater and a brightly colored suit. He shouts into a megaphone.''
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| '''Buster:''' Good Morning, Elwood City! Step right up. Sign your name to save our books and see the Amazing Arthur perform feats of derring-do!
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| ''Behind him, Arthur walks a tightrope over a baby pool.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Buster, are you sure about this?
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| '''Buster:''' It's like a commercial, Arthur. Before we can get them to sign, we have to get their attention. Now go ahead!
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| ''Arthur loses his balance and falls in the pool.''
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| '''Audience:''' (gasp, laugh and cheer)
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| '''Buster:''' Sure thing! After you sign on the dotted line.
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| ''Arthur trembles with cold.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Francine and Jenna jump a rope that is swung by Prunella and Sue Ellen. Jenna signs her name on a list that Francine is holding. Alex and Binky have already signed.''
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| '''Francine:''' PAWS is takin' your books away, so I'm asking for your help today. Line up now and sign your name. That’s the point of my jump-rope game!
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| ''Kids are queuing.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''At a bus stop, Brain explains a chart to Mrs. Wood, Mrs. Tibble and a man.''
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| '''Brain:''' Impact on school performance is geometric. As you can see there’s a marked rise in the learning curve. Is it not obvious you should sign? | | '''Brain:''' Impact on school performance is geometric. As you can see there’s a marked rise in the learning curve. Is it not obvious you should sign? |
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| '''Man:''' No. But we'll sign if you promise to stop explaining why we should! | | '''Man:''' No. But we'll sign if you promise to stop explaining why we should! |
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| '''People:''' (Yes. Uh-huh. Absolutely.) | | '''People:''' Yes. Uh-huh. Absolutely. |
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Prunella stands at the roller-skate rink handing out clipboards to kids who skate by and return the clipboard on the next round.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''A jogger in the park notices Sue Ellen running beside him with a clipboard. He signs and Sue Ellen runs ahead to a woman jogging with a dog.''
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| ''Nearby, Arthur sees a woman doing gardening.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Excuse me, ma’am, but a parents' group took our favorite books from the library. Would you sign a petition to put them back?
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| '''Miss McWord:''' I see I’m not the only one doing volunteer work today! But it depends on the books. I wouldn't go against your parents.
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| '''Arthur:''' They're not our parents. We don’t know who they are. But the books are our favorite books – the Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club.
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| '''Miss McWord:''' The Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club books? Do you read them, er...?
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| '''Arthur:''' Arthur. All of them! I haven't missed a single one.
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| '''Miss McWord:''' Then this is serious. Maybe I should speak to this parents group. Don't give up, Arthur. You and your friends are doing a good thing!
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| ''She walks away.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Sure. Thanks… I think. Hey, wait! You forgot to sign.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster come out of the ice-cream shop where Francine and Brain are waiting. All are holding ice-cream cones.''
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| '''Francine:''' Do you think we have enough names?
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| '''Arthur:''' I think so. We just have to hope they'll listen to us.
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| ''Muffy comes with a backpack.''
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| '''Muffy:''' Who wants to go to Wonderworld for free? I'm having a big party there for all my friends! And you're all invited.
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| '''Arthur:''' Wow! Wonderworld.
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| '''Francine:''' Lick?
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| ''She offers Muffy her ice-cream.''
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| '''Muffy:''' My mom won't let me. Too much fat...sugar... oh… take it away.
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| '''Buster:''' Hey! Hey, Muffy! Look, it's your parents.
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| ''On a TV in a store, the newswoman is interviewing the Crosswire parents in front of Crosswire Motors.''
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| '''Mrs. Crosswire:''' You don't know the harm these books do! My poor daughter read just one and it gave her nightmares.
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' We started PAWS to save other kids. We're having a big rally for all concerned parents at the library tomorrow.
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| ''The kids look angrily at Muffy.''
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| '''Buster:''' Your mom and dad started PAWS?
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| '''Muffy:''' Yes. And they say that no one working against them is allowed to come to my party.
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| '''Kids:''' What?
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| '''Arthur:''' But we have to get our books back, Muffy.
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| '''Muffy:''' You just have to decide which means more to you, Arthur, my fabulous party – or a bunch of silly books.
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| ''She walks off.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur sits at the dinner table with his mom, who is working with a calculator.''
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| '''Arthur:''' I don’t know what to do, Mom. I don't want to miss Muffy's Wonderworld party, but I don’t want to lose my favorite books, either.
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| '''Mrs. Read:''' Arthur, all I can say is when you add everything up, you have to do what you think is right. Even if it means making a sacrifice.
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| ''She presses a button and looks horrified at the number on the calculator.''
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| '''Arthur:''' But what if I'm the only one to protest PAWS? What if all my friends decide to go to Wonderworld instead?
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| ''Mr. Read is putting on fake hair which is part of a clown costume.''
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| '''Mr. Read:''' Can’t be afraid to look foolish for something you believe in, son. Hand me that rubber nose. I'm late for the kids' charity benefit. ''He sits down on a loud whoopee cushion.'' Ah! Ha, I wondered where that was. | | === # === |
| | | {{TitleSort}}''The Crosswires, including Muffy, hold a rally in front of the library.'''''Mr. Crosswire:''' I'm not doing this for Ed Crosswire of Crosswire Motors, corner of Park and Lakewood - open most nights till ten - I'm doing it to save our kids. |
| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Mr. and Mrs. Crosswire and Muffy stand at a podium in front of the library.''
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' I'm not doing this for Ed Crosswire of Crosswire Motors, corner of Park and Lakewood - open most nights till ten - I'm doing it to save our kids. | |
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| ''Arthur approaches with the signatures.'' | | ''Arthur approaches with the signatures.'' |
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| '''Arthur:''' Uh, Mr. Crosswire, speaking for the kids, we really want our books back, and we got these signatures of support. | | '''Arthur:''' Uh, Mr Crosswire, speaking for the kids, we really want our books back, and we got these signatures of support. |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' That's nice, sonny. But believe me, we’re doing this for your own good. | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' That's nice, sonny. But believe me, we’re doing this for your own good. |
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| '''Miss McWord:''' Excuse me, but have ''you'' read any of the books? Well, you you? | | '''Miss McWord:''' Excuse me, but have ''you'' read any of the books? Well, ''have'' you? |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' I am proud to say I wouldn't read those books if you paid me. | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' I'm proud to say I wouldn't read those books if you paid me. ''Miss McWords steps out of the crowd. ''It’s Miss McWord - my grade school English teacher! |
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| ''Miss McWord steps out of the crowd.'' | |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' It’s Miss McWord - my grade school English teacher!
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| '''Miss McWord:''' You never ''did'' read, Ed. That’s why the writer works hard to write stories kids ''like'' to read - so maybe they'll read other books too. | | '''Miss McWord:''' You never ''did'' read, Ed. That’s why the writer works hard to write stories kids ''like'' to read - so maybe they'll read other books too. |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Er, what makes you such an expert? | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Er, what makes you such an expert? |
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| '''Miss McWord:''' I wrote them. | | '''Miss McWord:''' I wrote them! |
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| '''Arthur:''' ''You'' wrote the Scare-Your-Pants-Off-Club books? | | '''Arthur:''' ''You'' wrote the Scare Your Pants Off Club |
| | books? |
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| '''Miss McWord:''' Yes, “EA dePoe” is my pen-name. | | '''Miss McWord:''' Yes, "EA dePoe" is my pen-name. |
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| ''Muffy drops a pile of Scare Your Pants Off books out of her backpack.'' | | ''Muffy drops a pile of Scare Your Pants Off books out of her backpack.'' |
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| '''Muffy:''' (gasps) Miss dePoe, I'm your number one fan! I have all of your books. Does anyone have a pen? Oops. | | '''Muffy:''' Hh! Miss dePoe! I'm your number one fan! I have all of your books. Does anyone have a pen? Oops! |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' You've read them ''all''?
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| ''Mrs. Crosswire grabs Muffy’s ear.'' | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' You've read them ''all''? ''Mrs. Crosswire grabs Muffy’s ear.'' |
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| '''Mrs. Crosswire:''' Well, Mary Alice Crosswire. If it wasn't that woman’s books that gave you a nightmare, what ''was'' it? | | '''Mrs. Crosswire:''' Well, Mary Alice Crosswire. If it wasn't that woman’s books that gave you a nightmare, what ''was'' it? |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Just a minute here. I think I'm beginning to understand who ate my quart of Hasenpfeffer ice-cream. | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Just a minute here. I think I'm beginning to understand who ate my quart of Hasenpfeffer ice cream. |
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| '''Mrs. Crosswire:''' You ''know'' it gives you nightmares, Muffy. How could you. | | '''Mrs. Crosswire:''' You ''know'' it gives you nightmares, Muffy. How could you! |
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| '''Miss McWord:''' Ed. What do you say, we actually read one of my books and see what you think. | | '''Miss McWord:''' Ed. What do you say, we actually read one of my books and see what you think. |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Oh. Yes. Why not? | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Oh. Yes. Why not?[[Category:Season 1 transcripts]] |
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''A while later, Miss McWord finishes reading “The Haunted Hamburger Stand” to a group of kids and the Crosswires at the library.''
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| '''Miss McWord:''' "And since that night, nobody has dared to steal anything from the haunted hamburger stand again!"
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| '''Muffy:''' Well, Daddy?
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Well, I guess I shouldn't have tried to stop you kids from reading books I hadn't read myself.
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| '''Arthur:''' Then we can have them back, Mr. Crosswire?
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' Well, on one condition. ''Everybody looks worried.'' Would you read another one? Please?
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| '''Kids:''' (cheer)
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| ''Miss McWord reads another book.''
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| '''Miss McWord:''' "No one in the village knew why the old man lived all alone, deep in the dark woods. Only the animals of the forest knew his secret."
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| [[Category:Season 1 transcripts]] | |
| [[Category:Transcripts]] | | [[Category:Transcripts]] |
| | [[Category:Unfinished Transcripts]] |
| [[Category:A to Z]] | | [[Category:A to Z]] |
| [[Category:1996]]
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