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'''Arthur''': You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show! | '''Arthur''': You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show! | ||
'''Buster''': Are we learning about sweat today? If we are, I came prepared. [HE SNIFFS] | '''Buster''': Are we learning about sweat today? If we are, I came prepared. [HE SNIFFS] | ||
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'''Nigel Ratburn''': No, Buster. S.W.E.A.T. is an acronym for the Stoddard-Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test - a standardized test you'll all be taking. | '''Nigel Ratburn''': No, Buster. S.W.E.A.T. is an acronym for the Stoddard-Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test - a standardized test you'll all be taking. | ||
'''Arthur''': What's it on? | '''Arthur''': What's it on?! | ||
'''Sue Ellen''': Will we be graded? | '''Sue Ellen''': Will we be graded?! | ||
'''Nigel Ratburn''': Calm down. It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar, so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home. | '''Nigel Ratburn''': Calm down. It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar, so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home. | ||
'''Arthur''': | '''Arthur''': If Sarah has seven apples, and she gives Sadie five of them... | ||
'''Buster''': Why is Sarah giving apples away? | '''Buster''': Why is Sarah giving apples away? | ||
'''Arthur''': It doesn't say. | '''Arthur''': It doesn't say...then Sarah gets another apple from Sam... | ||
'''Buster''': Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah. She's up to something. | '''Buster''': Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah. She's up to something. | ||
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'''Sue Ellen''': Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B. What happens if I use one of those? | '''Sue Ellen''': Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B. What happens if I use one of those? | ||
'''Binky''': Then ye have to take it again! And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you. Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like preschoolers when faced with the S.W.E.A.T. A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole. | '''Binky''': Then ye have to take it again! And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you. Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like preschoolers when faced with the S.W.E.A.T.. A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole. | ||
'''Buster''': Why are you talking like that? | '''Buster''': Why are you talking like that? | ||
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[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] | [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] | ||
'''Arthur''': | '''Arthur''': OK, students. You may open your test booklets now. | ||
[MOTOR REVVING] | [MOTOR REVVING] | ||
'''Arthur''': Dad | '''Arthur''': Dad! Would you do that later? I'm trying to take a test! Now, you may open your... | ||
'''Mary Moo Cow''': Three, three, three is fun. It's more than one or two... | '''Mary Moo Cow''': Three, three, three is fun. It's more than one or two... | ||
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[ARTHUR SIGHS] | [ARTHUR SIGHS] | ||
'''Arthur''': | '''Arthur''': Okay. You may now... | ||
[DRIPPING] | [DRIPPING] | ||
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'''#2 Pencils''': [CHANTING]: Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two... | '''#2 Pencils''': [CHANTING]: Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two... | ||
'''Sue Ellen''': | '''Sue Ellen''': AHH! | ||
'''#2 Pencils''': Two, two, two, two, two, two... | '''#2 Pencils''': Two, two, two, two, two, two... | ||
'''Buster''': OK. | '''Buster''': OK. Sarah gives Sadie five apples. "Thank you, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me these apples, but I don't care, 'cause I'm a pig!" Then Sam flies in with another apple. Brrrr! "Activating apple defense system! Take that, you rotten fruitmonger!" | ||
'''Arthur''': Will you stop playing with those silly dolls? | '''Arthur''': Will you stop playing with those silly dolls?! | ||
'''Buster''': Sam isn't a doll; he's an action figure. | '''Buster''': Sam isn't a doll; he's an action figure. Ah, you've hurt his feelings! | ||
He's an action figure. Ah, you've hurt his feelings. | |||
'''Sue Ellen''': Oh, great. You guys are here. Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils. That way you can give me one if I forget to bring mine. | '''Sue Ellen''': Oh, great. You guys are here. Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils. That way you can give me one if I forget to bring mine. | ||
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'''Brain''': Hey, guys. What's going on? | '''Brain''': Hey, guys. What's going on? | ||
'''Sue Ellen''': Pencils! Take pencils | '''Sue Ellen''': Pencils! Take pencils! | ||
'''Arthur''': Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you | '''Arthur''': Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you WANT me to fail! | ||
'''Brain''': Fail what? | '''Brain''': Fail what? | ||
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'''Arthur''': But what if we forget what we already know? | '''Arthur''': But what if we forget what we already know? | ||
'''Sue Ellen''': Yeah | '''Sue Ellen''': Yeah! Binky said the fear could swallow us whole! | ||
'''Brain''': You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax. | '''Brain''': You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax. | ||
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'''Arthur''': Yeah, you never get anxious about tests. | '''Arthur''': Yeah, you never get anxious about tests. | ||
'''Brain''': That's not true. There's one test that makes me | '''Brain''': That's not true. There's one test that makes me VERY anxious. A blood test! Ha-ha! Get it? | ||
'''Sue Ellen''': Brain | '''Sue Ellen''': Brain! This isn't a laughing matter! Here, don't you dare forget it! | ||
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Orange, Buster? | '''Mrs. MacGrady''': Orange, Buster? | ||
'''Buster''': Is this a word problem? The answer is D | '''Buster''': Is this a word problem? The answer is D - all of the above! | ||
'''Arthur''': George, would you knock it off? You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily! Can't you see I'm trying to study? | '''Arthur''': George, would you knock it off? You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily! Can't you see I'm trying to study?! | ||
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': Nigel, I think this S.W.E.A.T. test has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters. Might I suggest something? | '''Mrs. MacGrady''': Nigel, I think this S.W.E.A.T. test has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters. Might I suggest something? | ||
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'''Binky''': Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe! I've got the scar to prove it! | '''Binky''': Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe! I've got the scar to prove it! | ||
'''Nigel Ratburn''': Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over | '''Nigel Ratburn''': Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over! | ||
'''Binky''': Okay. | '''Binky''': Okay. | ||
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'''Sue Ellen''': Wow. I feel great! | '''Sue Ellen''': Wow. I feel great! | ||
'''Arthur | '''Arthur''': Me too! | ||
'''Buster''': Wait! I still have some tension in my ear. Ah! Now, it's gone. | '''Buster''': Wait! I still have some tension in my ear. Ah! Now, it's gone. | ||
'''Mrs. MacGrady | '''Mrs. MacGrady''': Whenever those heebie-jeebies... | ||
[SNORING] | [SNORING] | ||
'''Mrs. MacGrady''': | '''Mrs. MacGrady''': ..start playing patty-whack with your nerves, you just... | ||
'''Brain''': [SNORES] Huh? What'd I miss? | '''Brain''': [SNORES] Huh? What'd I miss? | ||
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'''Brain''': Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right? | '''Brain''': Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right? | ||
'''Brain''': 17...18...19...20. Still got half an hour before school. Just enough time for another practice test. Huh. Well, that was a cinch. And now, I'll just check the answers in the back. 1 is A. Check. 2 is C. Check. 3 is also C... Wait! That can't be right! OK, one wrong. That's not so bad. 4 is...D? And 5 is...B? How is | '''Brain''': 17...18...19...20. Still got half an hour before school. Just enough time for another practice test. Huh. Well, that was a cinch. And now, I'll just check the answers in the back. 1 is A. Check. 2 is C. Check. 3 is also C... Wait! That can't be right! OK, one wrong. That's not so bad. 4 is...D? And 5 is...B?! How is THAT possible?! [HE GASPS] I skipped a question! Ugh! Why won't you erase? | ||
''' | '''Option D''': B always puts up a fight. Give it some muscle! | ||
''' | '''Option B''': Ooh, yeah! Right there! That's where it itches. | ||
[PAPER TEARS] | [PAPER TEARS] | ||
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'''Buster''': Feel all that stress leaving your body. Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom and out of the school. Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl. | '''Buster''': Feel all that stress leaving your body. Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom and out of the school. Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl. | ||
'''Nigel Ratburn''': | '''Nigel Ratburn''': Ahem. | ||
'''Buster''': Okay, you can open your eyes now. | '''Buster''': Okay, you can open your eyes now. | ||
