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| == Intro ==
| | (Title card) |
| '''Arthur:''' "My Sister Is A Sissy" by Jack Prelutsky.
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| My sister is a sissy<br />
| | I'M A POET |
| She's afraid of dogs and cats<br />
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| A toad can give her tantrums,<br /> | |
| And she's terrified of rats
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| She screams at things with stingers,<br />
| | Writer: [[Joe Fallon]] |
| Things that buzz and things that crawl.<br />
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| Just the shadow of a spider<br />
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| Sends my sister up the wall
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| A lizard makes her shiver,<br />
| | Storyboard Artist: [[Kevin Currie]] |
| And a turtle makes her squirm.<br />
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| She positively cringes<br />
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| At the prospect of a worm.
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| She's afraid of things with feathers.<br />
| | (Bird singing, thunder crashing) |
| She's afraid of things with fur.<br />
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| She's scared of almost everything.<br />
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| How come ''I'm'' scared of '''her'''?
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| == Title Card: Arthur with Umbrella ==
| | [[Binky Barnes]]: (voice-over) I'm a Poet! |
| ''Mr. Ratburn holds up a list in class.'' | |
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' Only two days until the library poetry contest and only one student has signed up: Fern.
| | (Back to the story) |
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| '''Francine:''' Fern never said she wrote poetry.
| | [[Nigel Ratburn]]: Only two days until the library poetry contest, and only one student has signed up! [[Fern Walters|Fern]]! |
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| '''Binky:''' Fern never says ''anything''.
| | [[Francine Frensky]]: Fern never said she wrote poetry! |
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' The judge is famous poet Jack Prelutsky. It's not too late to enter.
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| '''Francine:''' Listen, I'm a poet. Moon, June, spoon, a loon...
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| ''Fern sits in the cafeteria reading a book. Binky and Rattles walk past her.''
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| '''Binky:''' Just thinking of poetry, oh, it makes me sleepy.
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| ''He fakes falling asleep.''
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| '''Rattles:''' Binky, know what’s twice as boring as a poem?
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| '''Binky:''' What?
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| '''Rattles:''' Two poems.
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| '''Kids:''' (laugh)
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| ''Fern looks annoyed, then stands up.''
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| '''Fern:''' You only make fun because you couldn’t write a poem if you tried.
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| ''She leaves.''
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| '''Kids:''' (gasp)
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| '''Francine:''' That’s the most she’s said all year.
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| '''Buster:''' You tell ‘em, Fern! (whistles)
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| ''Binky gives him a death glare. He shuts up.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''After school the kids run after Fern.''
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| '''Binky:''' Maybe I couldn’t write a poem, but neither could they.
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| '''Francine:''' I could if I wanted to.
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| '''Arthur:''' Me too. No problem.
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| '''Binky:''' I can write a better poem than you with my brain tied behind my back, Arthur.
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| '''Arthur:''' Ha! Oh yeah? I’d like to see that.
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| ''Fern stops so abruptly that the others bang into one another.''
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| '''Kids:''' Ouch!
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| '''Fern:''' I bet none of you could even write a poem.
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| '''Francine:''' I could too.
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| '''Arthur:''' Maybe Binky can’t, but I can.
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| '''Binky:''' There’s nothing Arthur can do that I can’t.
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| '''Muffy:''' You are so rude, Fern.
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| ''Everyone argues with each other''
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| '''Binky:''' Someone hold me back or I’ll write a poem right now.
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| '''Fern:''' Quiet! ''Car alarm goes off.'' I bet that none of you can write a poem and finish it in time to submit it to the poetry contest.
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| '''Francine:''' I bet I can!
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| '''Arthur:''' I’ll not only finish one, it will be better than Binky’s.
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| '''Buster:''' Is anyone else hungry?
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| '''Fern:''' Anyone who doesn’t has to join the poetry club for a year. Bet, or are you bunch of chickens?
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| ''She holds out her little finger. The others hook their little fingers in.''
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| '''Arthur:''' ''(to Buster):'' How do you write a poem?
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| '''Buster:''' I thought you knew.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster look through books in the library.''
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| '''Arthur:''' I don’t want to go to poetry club for a whole year.
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| '''Buster:''' It’ll be a cinch. We just find a good poem and write one like it. (reads:) “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things / of shoes and ships and sealing-wax, of cabbages and kings / and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.” No, I don’t think I can write like that.
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| '''Arthur:''' Let’s find one that makes sense.
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| '''Buster:''' What does this mean? “Something better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse”.
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| '''Arthur:''' Maybe it’s a riddle. What’s better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse?
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| '''Buster:''' A gerbil that can do your homework.
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| '''Arthur:''' Nothing’s better than my dog. Skip this guy, he doesn’t like dogs.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster check poetry books in the treehouse.''
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| '''Buster:''' Whoa, listen to these titles: “The Haunted Palace”, “The Conqueror Worm”…
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| '''Arthur:''' That must be about a giant worm.
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| '''Buster:''' Listen to this: "It was the dead who groaned within."
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| '''Arthur+Buster:''' Cool!
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| '''Arthur:''' I got one that makes sense. (reads:) "Listen, my children and you shall hear / of the midnight ride of Paul Revere..."
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| '''Buster:''' All right. We're ready.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Binky, Fern, Brain, Buster, Arthur and Muffy sit at a table in the cafeteria.''
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| '''Buster:''' How long did you work on your poem last night?
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| '''Arthur:''' I... sort of watched TV.
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| '''Fern:''' Brain has finished his poem.
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| ''Arthur spits out milk.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Already?
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| '''Brain:''' Can I read it to you? Any comments will help me perfect it for the contest. “I, The Brain will explain what makes rain. / Water droplets are what clouds contain. / They reach saturation / become precipitation / hit the ground and go right down the drain.“
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| '''Binky:''' (yawns)
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| ''Fern claps.''
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| '''Muffy:''' I'm done too. "My favorite thing to do is shop / for shoes, shirts, coats, rings..." You can never have enough jewellery. “...and games until I drop. / I love to shop.”
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| '''Buster:''' That's not a poem, it's a list.
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| '''Muffy:''' “Shop” rhymes with “drop”. Duh.
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| '''Fern:''' Everyone else, remember to have your poems done by tomorrow.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur writes something in his room, then reads it out loud.''
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| '''Arthur:''' "Listen, my children as I tell you / of a duck and a chicken on a bus to Oklaho-moo..." Yeuch!
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| ''He crosses out the whole page.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur is on the phone.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Buster. When you're done with your poem, can you help me?
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| '''Buster:''' I'm done. But I'm watching a video. Sorry!
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| '''D.W.:''' I know a great poem: “Roses are red / violets are blue / my nose smells / and your feet do too”. (laughs) That's so funny! Doesn't that crack you up, Arthur? ''Arthur walks up the stairs looking depressed.'' Arthur?
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''The next morning Arthur drinks his milk, picks up his books and goes to the door.''
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| '''Mr. Read:''' Why the big rush to get to school?
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| '''Arthur:''' I have to stop at Fern's house.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur walks up to Fern's house. He is about to ring when he hears voices from inside.''
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| '''Fern:''' Can I hear that again?
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| '''Buster:''' “Once upon a midnight cloudy / a big old bat said 'Howdy! Howdy!'" ''Arthur looks inside. Buster and Fern are sitting on the couch.'' (gasps)
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| '''Arthur:''' You said you were done!
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| ''Buster comes to the window.''
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| '''Buster:''' I-I didn't want you to think I couldn't do it.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Arthur and Buster walk to school with Fern.''
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| '''Fern:''' Instead of copying other people’s poems, why not just write about what you like?
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| '''Buster:''' Who’d want to hear what I like?
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| '''Fern:''' Who wouldn’t?
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| ''Arthur and Buster smile.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Jack Prelutsky is reciting a poem in the library in front of Miss Turner and an audience of kids.''
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' Today is very boring,<br>
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| it’s a very boring day.<br>
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| There’s nothing much to look at,<br>
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| there’s nothing much to say.
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| There’s a peacock on my sneakers,<br>
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| there’s a penguin on my head,<br>
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| there’s a dormouse on my doorstep,<br>
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| I am going back to bed.
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| Today is very boring,<br>
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| it’s boring through and through.<br>
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| There is absolutely nothing<br>
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| that I think I want to do.
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| I see giants riding rhinos, ''Francine has a thought bubble of a giant on a rhino.''<br>
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| and an ogre with a sword, ''Buster sees a one-eyed giant swinging a sword.''<br>
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| there’s a dragon blowing smoke rings, ''A dragon who looks like Mr. Ratburn, breathes fire.''<br>
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| I am positively bored. ''The dragon breathes smoke rings on Muffy.''
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| '''Muffy:''' (coughs)
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' Today is very boring,<br>
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| I can hardly (yawns) help but yawn,<br>
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| there’s a flying saucer landing<br>
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| in the middle of my lawn,
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| a volcano just erupted<br>
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| less than half a mile away, ''Binky sees a volcano erupting right behind the school.''<br>
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| and I think I felt an earthquake, ''Sue Ellen sees Binky dancing, which shakes the ground.''<br>
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| it’s a very boring day.
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| ''Everybody claps.''
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' Thank you. Thank you.
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| ''Fern finishes her poem.''
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| '''Fern: '''“...and the ghosts of all the fallen trees weep for a world that can't live without them.“ ''Mr. Prelutsky and the kids clap.'' Thank you, Mr. Prelutsky. I have all of your poetry books.
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' You are obviously a little girl with impeccable taste. Our next poet is Francine Frensky.
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| ''While reciting her poem, Francine holds up signs with illustrations. Meanwhile Muffy plays the bongos.''
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| '''Francine:''' "My dad took me to a hockey game. / I got hit in the head by a puck. / I yelled out 'Ow, my head! Ow! Call an ambulance! Ouch! Ow! Oh brother! This hurts! / Put ice on it. It's gonna swell.' / I got a big old purple lump on my head / and used it for Show And Tell."
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| ''Everybody claps.''
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| '''Fern:''' Where's Arthur?
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| ''Arthur is sitting under a tree, writing and looking at his watch.''
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| <nowiki>***</nowiki>
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| '''Binky:''' “People think I can't write a poem / but they are so wrong, I can write a poem. / I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, / and I gave it the title 'Binky's Poem'. / So shut up!” The end.
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| ''Fern claps.''
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| '''Muffy:''' That’s not a poem. He rhymed “poem” with “poem” four times.
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| '''Fern:''' It was great. Yeah, Binky!
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' Our final poet is Buster Baxter.
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| ''While Buster reads his poem, Arthur is racing through the city on his bike. He has to wait for a group of preschool children and a circus parade.''
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| '''Buster:''' “These are the things that make me nauseous: / gloppy green gloop that drips from faucets, / blue hair that grows on slices of bread, / when your big old dog drools in your bed, / when a dirty sock drops on your face, pee yew, / when your friend's baby sister starts to spew, / half a worm in the apple you bit, / finding a human bone in your jello, / flowing nose slime green and yellow, / and people who eat creamed corn with their mouths open so you can see it.” The end.
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' I probably shouldn't mention the free butterscotch pudding being served at the reception.
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| '''Kids:''' (Bleugh!)
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| ''Arthur bursts in.''
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| '''Arthur:''' Am I too late? I couldn't help it. The street was full of elephants!
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| ''He whispers to Jack Prelutsky.''
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| '''Jack Prelutsky: '''Our final ''final'' poem is “Jimmy Goes to the City” by Arthur Read.
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| '''Arthur:''' "Jimmy was a happy ape until some hunters caught him. / He liked the jungle better than the city where they brought him. / The city was louder, the city was meaner. / Even the dirt in the jungle was cleaner./ So Jimmy made a daring escape. / The hunters were suddenly minus one ape. / He climbed the tallest building because from there he'd see / how far away the jungle was from the middle of the city. / Jimmy jumped into a passing plane / but the pilot didn't wait for him to explain. / Jimmy went back to the jungle and told his ape friends in their lair / 'The city's okay for a visit, but you couldn't make me live there.'"
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' And the winner of the contest is... I hate contests. You all win.
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| '''Fern:''' And nobody has to join the poetry club because they won the bet.
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| '''Arthur:''' But this was fun!
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| '''Buster:''' Yeah! I know lots of other disgusting things.
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| '''Muffy:''' I want to play my bongos.
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| '''Binky:''' You can't stop us if we want to join.
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| ''Francine comes with a clipboard.''
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| '''Francine:''' Hey, here's a sign-up list.
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| ''Fern shakes hands with Mr. Prelutsky.''
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| '''Fern:''' Mr. Prelutsky, could you read us another poem?
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| '''Kids: '''(Yeah! Please!)
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| '''Jack Prelutsky:''' All right. Well, Buster's poem put me in mind of one of my own called “Jellyfish Stew”. “Jellyfish stew / I'm loony for you. / I dearly adore you, / oh truly I do...”
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| [[Category:Transcripts]] | | [[Category:Transcripts]] |
| | [[Category:Unfinished Transcripts]] |
| [[Category:Season 1 transcripts]] | | [[Category:Season 1 transcripts]] |
| [[Category:A to Z]]
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| [[Category:1996]]
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