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| == Introduction== | | === Introduction === |
| ''A futuristic version of Arthur is working on what looks like a tablet computer, which creates a hologram of a tower in front of him. A robot dog jumps into his lap.'' | | ''A futuristic version of Arthur is working on what looks like a tablet computer, which creates a hologram of a tower in front of him. A robot dog jumps into his lap.'' |
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| '''3W: '''(giggles)''' '''Look out, R4! ''She knocks him over. The hologram disappears.'' | | '''3W: '''(giggles)''' '''Look out, R4! ''She knocks him over. The hologram disappears.'' |
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| '''R4: '''3W! | | '''R4: '''3W!! |
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| ''A futuristic Mrs. Read is talking to a futuristic Bitzi Baxter on a video phone in the kitchen.'' | | ''A futuristic Mrs. Read is talking to a futuristic Bitzi Baxter on a video phone in the kitchen.'' |
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| ''R4 and 3W stand in the living room wearing virtual goggles. They pretend to throw something.'' | | ''R4 and 3W stand in the living room wearing virtual goggles. They pretend to throw something.'' |
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| '''R4: '''Ing. | | '''R4: '''Hng. |
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| '''3W: '''Stop throwing it so hard. You're hurting me! | | '''3W: '''Stop throwing it so hard. You're hurting me! |
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| ''Cut to the actual title card.'' | | ''Cut to the actual title card.'' |
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| == Title Card: Family Photo == | | === Title Card: Family Photo === |
| ''Mr. Ratburn points to a family tree on the blackboard.'' | | ''Mr. Ratburn points to a family tree on the blackboard.'' |
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' And so I’ve learned that the Ratburns wouldn’t be where they are today without a lot of hard work. Let’s see what you find out. | | '''Mr. Ratburn:''' And so I’ve learned that the Ratburns wouldn’t be where they are today without a lot of hard work. Let’s see what you find out. |
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| | <nowiki>#</nowiki> |
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| ''The kids are painting in art class.'' | | ''The kids are painting in art class.'' |
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| '''Arthur:''' You guys, it's not a contest. | | '''Arthur:''' You guys, it's not a contest. |
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| '''Buster:''' Yeah, I'm sure we're all related to some really interesting people. | | '''Buster:''' Yeah, I'm sure we're all related to some really interesting people |
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| | <nowiki>#</nowiki> |
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| ''Buster has dinner with his mother.'' | | ''Buster has dinner with his mother.'' |
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| '''Mrs. Baxter:''' (sighs) I don't know what my grandfather did. I never asked him. Now I really wish I had. | | '''Mrs. Baxter:''' (sighs) I don't know what my grandfather did. I never asked him. Now I really wish I had. |
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| '''Buster:''' I'll check in the library. I bet I can find some stuff about him there. | | '''Buster:''' I'll check in the library. I bet I can find some stuff about him there |
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| | <nowiki>#</nowiki> |
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| ''On a microform reader in the library Arthur looks at a black and white image of a man in a cheese shop. Buster sits beside him.'' | | ''On a microform reader in the library Arthur looks at a black and white image of a man in a cheese shop. Buster sits beside him.'' |
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| '''Buster:''' Huh? | | '''Buster:''' Huh? |
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| '''Muffy:''' Oh, never mind, I'll just ask Miss Turner. | | '''Muffy:''' Oh, |
| | never mind, I'll just ask Miss Turner. |
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| ''Miss Turner checks her computer.'' | | ''Miss Turner checks her computer.'' |
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| '''Muffy:''' Oh, the Crosswires are too important to be in this public library. We have our own private archives. | | '''Muffy:''' Oh, the Crosswires are too important to be in this public library. We have our own private archives. |
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| | <nowiki>#</nowiki> |
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| ''At the Crosswire mansion. Muffy is holding a shoebox while her mother is knitting on the couch and her father is reading a newspaper.'' | | ''At the Crosswire mansion. Muffy is holding a shoebox while her mother is knitting on the couch and her father is reading a newspaper.'' |
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| '''Mr. Crosswire:''' You should visit your great-aunt, Olga Crump. She'll know some interesting things about the family. | | '''Mr. Crosswire:''' You should visit your great-aunt, Olga Crump. She'll know some interesting things about the family. |
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| | | <nowiki>#</nowiki> |
| ''Francine, Arthur and Buster stand in front of the ice-cream shop. Buster is holding a battered lunchbox. ''
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| '''Buster:''' It's my grandfather's lunchbox. My mom found it last night.
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| '''Arthur:''' At least now you have a visual aid.
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| '''Buster:''' Yeah, for the world's shortest report! I can't even open it. It's stuck.
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| ''The Crosswire limousine stops beside them.''
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| '''Muffy:''' Hi, guys! How's the report going, Francine?
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| '''Francine:''' Great! I just learned that my grandfather's grandfather was an adviser to President Lincoln.
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| '''Muffy:''' Oh… Well, I'm off to visit my great-aunt. She's a princess. Bye! ''The limousine drives on.'' It wasn't really a lie. She could be a princess. Wait a minute! She's too old to be a princess. She'd have to be a queen! And if she’s a queen then maybe I’m… a princess!
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| ''In her imagination she runs up to an old lady with a crown sitting in front of a castle that vaguely resembles Saint Basil’s cathedral in Moscow. She bends her knee.''
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| '''Muffy:''' I'm sorry I'm late, Your Highness. The limo had a flat.
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| '''Queen Olga:''' Is that you, Anastasia?
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| '''Muffy:''' No. It's Muffy!
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| '''Queen Olga:''' Ah, well, you'll do. Crown her! ''The queen’s two guard put a crown on Muffy’s head. The Muffy and the queen walk up the stairs to the castle.''
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| '''Muffy:''' So I'm actually the long-lost princess of Translatvia? Cool!
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| ''The limousine stops in front of Olga Crump’s house. Bailey opens the door.''
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| '''Muffy:''' Oh no! Are you sure this is the right address? ''In front of her is a ramshackle house with garden gnomes and plastic flamingos in the yard.''
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| ''Muffys is sitting in Olga Crump’s living room.''
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| '''Olga Crump:''' The Crosswires used to sell used horses, and after that it was used carts. And now it's used cars! (chuckles)'' She holds up a garden gnome. '' Er, this is Juniper. I thought you might want him for your report.
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| '''Muffy:''' Thanks. Francine probably has something from Abraham Lincoln!
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| ''Francine is sitting in Granpa Frensky’s kitchen holding a black-and-white photograph of a barber.''
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''And''' '''Vingal Frensky advised Abe Lincoln to trim his beard, and guess what, he did! Want the photo to show your class?
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| '''Francine:''' Oh, that's all right, Grandpa. I'll, um, describe it to them.
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''How about this one? It's of the Hamburger Castle I used to own. ''It shows a young man standing in front of a building that looks like a castle.''
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| '''Francine:''' Hm... okay.
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''I have more stuff in the garage. I think there's a box up there with some of Lincoln's beard. ''He goes out. Francine covers the bottom half of the photograph with her hand.''
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| '''Francine:''' There. Now it looks like the type of castle Muffy's family might have. I'll say the bottom was cut off.
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| ''Muffy, Buster, Francine and Arthur are sitting in the Sugar Bowl.''
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| '''Muffy:''' And then the Crosswires owned all of England and France, too! But they sold that to the Germans.
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| '''Francine:''' Get this. I have a picture of my grandpa standing outside his own castle.
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| '''Muffy:''' We owned a hundred castles!
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| '''Francine:''' A Frensky advised Lincoln!
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| '''Muffy:''' So? Lincoln was my second cousin!
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| '''Buster:''' I think my ancestors were all taken away on a spaceship. That’s why I can’t find any.
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| '''Muffy:''' Oh please, Buster. That makes everything I've said sound believable!
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| '''Francine:''' I knew it!
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| '''Muffy:''' Ohh, it's no use! None of my relatives were rich or famous. The Crosswires were just… plain folks. ''Francine touches her hand.''
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| '''Francine:''' That’s okay, Muffy. I bet they're still pretty interesting.
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| '''Muffy:''' Easy for you to say. Your relatives actually did exciting things, like own castles and advise presidents. I mean, they really did do those things, right?
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| '''Francine:''' Oh, yeah. Definitely. My ancestors were all really important people.
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| ''Francine sits on her bed and is about to cut the hamburger castle photograph when her grandfather looks in.''
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Hiya, Frankie. I found some more photos for you. There are some terrific pictures of the inside of the Hamburger Castle. ''He comes in with a photo album and puts it on a table.''
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| '''Francine:''' Uh... thanks, Grandpa.
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''My pleasure, Frankie.''' '''I'm sure it's going to be a great report. Make the Frenskys proud. Goodnight.
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| '''Francine:''' Goodnight, Grandpa. ''He walks out. Francine takes out the scissors.'' Oh. Grandpa would be really hurt if he knew I was trying to make the Frenskys seem more exciting. Maybe I should just tell the truth.
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| ''In her imagination she is presenting the photo album to the class.''
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| '''Francine:''' Here's my grandfather making a hamburger. Here he is mopping. This is a picture of a salt shaker. ''All students are asleep except Muffy.''
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| '''Class:''' (snore)
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| '''Muffy:''' (laughs) And I thought ''my'' relatives were boring!
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| ''The fantasy ends. Francine cuts the photo in half.''
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| ''Mr. Frensky opens the door to Grandpa Frensky holding a potted plant.''
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Hiya, son. I just stopped by to give you this palmetto and wish Francine good luck with her report.
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| '''Mr. Frensky: '''She just left, Dad.
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Oh. She left the photo album behind. She's gonna need that.
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| ''In class Muffy has hired Wolf Blitzen (an actual wolf based on Wolf Blitzer) to give her report. He shows slides.''
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| '''Wolf Blitzen:''' And so, from covered wagons to Cadillacs, the Crosswires have kept the transport industry alive and thriving in the United States for over a hundred years. And that's the way it was. This has been Wolf Blitzen. Thank you and good day. ''The children clap. He leaves the room.''
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' That was very impressive, Muffy. Francine, you’re next.
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| ''Francine goes to the front carrying a bag and moves the screen to the side.''
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| '''Francine:''' A lot of my relatives were really important. But the most important one was Vingal Frensky. He was an advisor to Abraham Lincoln. I will now give you a dramatic recreation of one of their really important conversations. ''She puts on a black top hat and fake beard. Her Grandpa comes in.''
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Francine!
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| '''Francine:''' Hh! ''She looks frightened.''
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Sorry to interrupt, folks. Here, Frankie. You left this at home and I thought you might need it. ''He puts the photo album on the teacher’s desk.''
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' Would you like to stay for the report, Mr. Frensky? Francine was just about to start.
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| '''Grandpa Frensky: '''Like to? I'd love to! ''He takes a seat. Francine looks undecided.''
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| '''Francine:''' Er… er… This is a picture of my grandfather's castle. I mean, Hamburger Castle.
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| '''Buster:''' A Hamburger Castle! Cool! Which one?
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| '''Francine:''' The one right outside Elwood City.
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| '''Arthur:''' Hey, I've eaten there!
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| '''Brain:''' Hey, I love those burgers!
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| '''Francine:''' And Vingal Frensky ''did'' advise Abe Lincoln once, but it was just to trim his beard. He was a barber. I’ve actually got a box here with some bits of his beard. ''She searches her bag. Several children come to the front.''
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| '''Class:''' (Wow! I want to see it! Lincoln’s hairs!)
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| '''Mr. Ratburn:''' Fascinating. ''Grandpa Frensky and Francine give each other a thumbs up.''
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| ''After the report in class.''
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| '''Muffy:''' That was a great report, Francine. You’re sure your relatives didn’t own a real castle.
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| '''Francine:''' Yeah.
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| '''Muffy:''' You're such a good friend!
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| ''Buster comes to the front with his grandfather’s lunchbox.''
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| '''Buster:''' I thought all I’d have to show you would be my grandfather’s lunchbox and my report would be boring. But then I found this sandwich inside. ''He takes it out.'' It's from 1955! ''He takes a bite.'' Mmm! Baloney!
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| '''Class:''' Eugh!
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| ''Back in the future.''
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| '''3W:''' Is that really what life was like a hundred years ago?
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| '''R4:''' I guess so.
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| '''3W:''' I liked it. But it didn't make a lot of sense. I mean, what's a hamburger?
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| '''R4:''' Beats me!
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| ''The episode ends with a man walking a hovering robot dog outside.''
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| [[Category:Transcripts]] | | [[Category:Transcripts]] |
| [[Category:Season 3 transcripts]] | | [[Category:Season 3 transcripts]] |