D.W.'s Stray Netkitten/Transcript

Pal: (sniffs, barks)

Arthur: Calm down, Pal. It's just D.W.'s Netkitten. D.W., you left Tickly in the yard again! Every kid I know D.W.'s age is obsessed with these toys.

D.W.: Netkittens are not toys. They're virtuable pets.

Arthur: You mean virtual pets, D.W. Each one also lives on the Internet.

D.W.: You can feed them and take care of them, and they're just like real pets. (Pal sniffs) Only they don't smell bad. (Pal whines) Come on. I'll show you. See? You can play with her and brush her. (Tickly purrs) Tickly loves to be brushed. (Tickly meows in alarm) What's wrong?

Arthur: There's only one bar left in the food meter. Have you fed her recently?

Tickly: Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! (burp)

D.W.: Arthur, what does that clock say?

Arthur: 5:05.

D.W.: (gasps) I'm missing Mary Moo Cow!

Arthur: D.W., you left Tickly again. Poor little kitty. What am I saying? It's a stuffed animal!

Tickly: I'm bored. I'm bored.

D.W.: Just a second, Tickly. We're about to go lasso some cows. We have to get you into the right clothes. Perfect! (Prince Shiny appears) Oh, it's Emily's Netkitten, Prince Shiny. Yes, yes. Tickly loves you, too, Prince Shiny.

Prince Shiny: Would you like to dance with me?

(computer music playing)

D.W.: Sorry. No time. We've got cows to lasso.

Jane: It's been half an hour, D.W. I need to start working again. I'll log off for you.

D.W.: Wait! First, I have to... (computer buzzes)

Jane: Oh, that's odd. The computer is frozen.

D.W.: Frozen? But it's not cold in here. Should I put a blanket over it?

Jane: Frozen just means that nothing's moving on the screen. Here. This usually takes care of it. (gasps)

Computer Guy: Could be an interface problem with the motherboard. I'll just reboot the hard drive. (clown laughs evilly) The Scary Clown icon? I've read about that one. I'll have to take the computer into the shop for a few days.

D.W. and Jane: A few days?!

Jane: How will I get my work done?

D.W.: How am I going to feed Tickly?

Arthur: Johnny Playmon steps into the box, waiting for his pitch. Nothing could distract Playmon now.

D.W: Cookies, anyone?

Arthur and Buster: Okay, thanks. Okay.

D.W.: Now that I've done something for you, I want you to do something for me.

Arthur: I should have known it was a trap.

D.W.: I was hoping you could use the computers at school to feed Tickly until ours is fixed.

Arthur: Forget it! Netkittens are for little kids. They're all about make-believe and playing dress-up.

D.W.: Okay, Johnny Playmon.

Arthur: Baseball is different.

D.W.: Please? It's just a few days. If someone doesn't feed Tickly, all her food points will go down.

Arthur: Okay, but we switch the TV to Bionic Bunny at 5:00 exactly for a week.

D.W.: Deal!

(school bell rings)

Ratburn: Remember, your reports on the significance of the beaver in Canadian history are due on Monday.

Arthur: Mr. Ratburn, could I use the school computer for something? Ours is broken.

Ratburn: Sure. I'll just get you started. Now, where is that "on" switch?

Arthur: I think it's just asleep.

Ratburn: Computers sleep? (Netkitten music playing) What on Earth is a Netkitten?

Arthur: It's sort of a pet you can have on the Internet. But it's not mine. I just said I would feed it for D.W.

Ratburn: Look. There's even a store where you can buy it things. May I?

Jane: So it's all fixed now?

Computer Guy: Yep. I just had to reinitialize the bat file, and then defrag the mainframe. (computer beeping) Ta-da!

D.W: Can I go to the Netkitten site? I have to make sure Arthur fed Tickly.

Arthur: Don't worry, D.W. I did everything you asked me to. I even bought her a few extra things.

Tickly: Go, Grebes, go! Go, Grebes, go! Go, Grebes, go!

D.W.: What have you done?! Tickly doesn't like baseball! And why is there a giant puppet in the corner?

Arthur: That was Mr. Ratburn's idea.

D.W.: I should have known better than to leave her with you. Poor Tickly!

Arthur: She seems happy. And look. Her energy meter is way up from all the exercise she had. See?

D.W.: Get away!

Arthur: D.W., careful! You don't want to...

(pirate laughing, Jane and Computer Guy gasp)

Pirate: Har-har-har!

Computer Guy: The Scary Pirate icon! I thought it was a myth. Oh, this is bad. Very bad.

D.W.: Hi, Emily. Tickly and I have a favor to ask. Thanks for agreeing to take care of Tickly while our computer gets fixed.

Emily: It's no trouble at all. When do you feed her?

D.W.: Twice a day—morning and night.

Emily: But when exactly? I feed Prince Shiny at 7:00 in the morning and 5:00 at night. And what does Tickly eat?

D.W.: Just Net Nibbles.

Emily: No liver? No fish?

D.W.: You can get liver on the Web site? Ew!

(alarm clock ringing)

Emily: It's time for Prince Shiny's dance competition. Want to come watch? (techno music playing) Go, Prince Shiny, go! Show that puppy who's the dancing king of the Netkitten neighborhood! Yes! We win again! Hey, maybe Prince Shiny and Tickly could compete together as a pair. Dancing is a way to get lots of energy points.

Jane: C'mon, D.W. It's time for Kate's nap.

D.W.: No. Tickly doesn't dance. She's a cowgirl.

Emily: Are you sure? I even had an extra cape.

D.W.: No! No capes! Absolutely not! Will the computer be fixed soon?

Jane: The repairman said it would be a few days.

D.W.: hope Tickly will be all right for that long.

Jane: I wouldn't worry, sweetie. Emily is very responsible. I'm sure she'll take excellent care of her.

D.W.: Just so long as she doesn't change her.

(fantasy sequence begins)

D.W.: Tickly? (gasps)

Tickly: I'm leaving you. (D.W. gasps) It's not you. It's me. Good-bye!

D.W.: No! Tickly, come back!

Nadine: Hop on. We'll catch up to her.

D.W.: I think she went in there!

Audience: Go, Tickly, go! Go, Tickly, go! Go, Tickly, go! Go, Tickly, go! Go, Tickly, go!

D.W.: Come on, Tickly. You're coming home!

Tickly: I want to stay with Emily. She lets me dance and eat liver!

D.W.: But you hate those things.

Tickly: Not anymore. Emily, save me!

(fantasy sequence ends, D.W. gasps)

(phone dialing, ringing)

Emily: Hello.

D.W.: Hi, Emily. It's D.W. I want you to stop feeding Tickly.

Emily: Why?

D.W.: Because, um... because our computer is all fixed so I don't need your help anymore. (knocking on table) Oops! There's someone at the door. Gotta go. Bye.

Arthur: D.W., if Emily doesn't feed Tickly, who will?

D.W.: I don't care. I'd rather have no Netkitten at all than one that likes Emily better. Is it fixed? Is the computer all better?

Arthur: Yep. No more laughing pirates or scary clowns.

D.W.: Quick! Go to Netkittens! I have to see if Tickly is still...

Arthur: Still what? D.W., I'm sure she's fine.

D.W.: Emily has been feeding her, right? What have I done?! (crying)

Arthur: D.W.?

D.W.: Go away!

Arthur: I just wanted to let you know that Tickly is okay. I checked, and her food and energy meters are fine.

D.W.: Really? But how can that...I bet she was wearing a sparkly cape and dancing, right?

Arthur: Nope, she was just the same as before.

Emily: I just wanted to say good-bye to Tickly, but then I saw she was hungry, so I fed her. I thought maybe your computer broke again. You could have called and asked me.

D.W.: I know, I should have. I'm sorry. Here. It's for being a good friend to Tickly and me.

Emily: (gasps) For Prince Shiny? They're beautiful!

D.W.: Yeah, I guess. If you like that sort of thing.

(alarm clock rings)

Emily: D.W., do you think Tickly would...

D.W.: Okay, just this once.

(Netkittens music plays)

Emily: Go, Prince Shiny! Go, Tickly!

D.W.: Have we won yet? My finger's getting tired.