Arthur Cleans Up/Transcript

Introduction
Arthur takes a box out of a cupboard in his room.

Arthur: Sometimes my dad gets excited about some pretty weird stuff.

Flashback: Arthur, his dad and a few others are sitting at a table while a fisherman serves seafood.

Arthur (narrator): Like the father-son fishermen's sunrise breakfast.

Arthur: (yawns)

Mr. Read: Remember, Arthur, it's all you can eat, so don't stop till you're full!

The seafood appears to be still alive.

Arthur: I’m full.

He covers his mouth looking nauseous.

The flashback ends.

Arthur: That wasn't the only thing. My dad is always getting me into really strange activities. Like the Dental Hygiene Choir.

''A group of kids stands on stage. Miss Krasny conducts as they sing to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”.''

Kids: “Floss, floss, floss your teeth / Make your mouth feel clean / Gargle and spit, gargle and spit...”

Audience: (laugh)

Arthur: “...to prevent gingivitis and other forms of periodontal disease!”

The flashback ends.

Arthur: It gets worse. Because after that, I was trapped in… the Clean-Up Brigade.

He holds up overalls.

Title Card: Arthur With Umbrella
In the park, Molly has an argument with Rattles while Binky and Kiefer watch.

Molly: I'm not a wuss! You're the wuss!

Rattles: No, you are!

Arthur, Pal and Buster run through their group chasing a frisbee.

Arthur: I got it!

''Nearby, Sue Ellen shows Francine tai chi moves. The grass is littered with trash.''

Sue Ellen: Now, extend your arms slowly and feel the power of the chi.

Arthur, Pal and Buster pass behind them.

Arthur: I got it!

Buster: Arthur! Stooop!

The frisbee falls into an extremely dirty fountain.

Arthur: It's not that deep. We could get it.

Green steam is rising from the water.

Buster: Pee-yew! I'm not going into that toxic waste pit!

They walk home through the park.

Buster: This park is so gross.

Arthur: Whatever happened to using trash cans? Some people are such slobs.

***

Arthur and Buster walk along Arthur’s street.

Arthur: I mean, the whole world's getting disgusting. The ocean is full of oil, people are throwing garbage all over their own park. It makes me want to do something about it!

Buster: You mean, like go clean it up ourselves or something?

Arthur: Well, maybe not us, exactly...

Mr. Read is taking out the trashcan right behind them.

Mr. Read: That is a fantastic idea!

Arthur: It is?

Mr. Read: If adults could see that kids cared about the park, maybe they would care about it too.

Arthur: But, Dad! Have you seen the park? It would take an army of kids to clean up that mess!

Mr. Read: An army? Good idea! You could call it ‘The Kids' Clean-Up Brigade’.

Buster: Yeah. Well, see you tomorrow, Arthur! Bye, Mr. Read!

He hurriedly leaves.

Arthur: Huh?

Mr. Read: Arthur? I think your idea for a Kids' Clean-Up Brigade is terrific.

***

Mr. Read is on the phone while Arthur watches from the stairs.

Mr. Read: I'm going to call the other parents and get them to sign up their kids.

Arthur: But...

Mr. Read: Hello, Bitzi? David Read here. Arthur just came up with a great idea.

Arthur: (sighs)

***

''Arthur and Buster walk down a street. Arthur dribbles a basketball.''

Buster: So now my mom's after me to join this clean-up brigade, too. Why’d you start this thing, anyway?

Arthur: It was my dad! Buster, you were there!

Behind them, Sue Ellen comes out of a karate school.

Sue Ellen: Arthur, We need to have a little talk!

Arthur: What about?

Sue Ellen: My mother signed me up for something called the Clean-Up Brigade which she says was your idea.

Arthur: No, it wasn't! See, my dad...

Sue Ellen: If you think I’m gonna give up Wednesday afternoon karate to pick up trash, you’re nuts!

She goes back, just as a fellow students is thrown out of the door.

Karate Student: Whoaa!

''Arthur and Buster look uncomfortable. A car horn honks and the Crosswire limousine drives up.''

Muffy: Arthur! We have got to have a talk! If you think I'm gonna touch other people's garbage, just forget about it! Just the thought is vomitrocious! Home, Bailey!

''The limousine drives off. The Tough Customers surround Arthur in their street hockey apparel.''

Molly: Look! It's Clean-Up Boy!

Rattles: Well, if it isn’t Captain Clean-Up, son of the blue flush!

Molly: Better clean up your shirt, Clean-Up Boy. You got a stain on it!

She pokes Arthur chest and flicks his nose.

Tough Customers: (laugh) Made you look!

They skate off.

Buster: Well, that wasn't too bad. She could have really humiliated you!

***

Arthur and Buster throw hoops behind the school.

Francine: Psst! Arthur!

Francine waves from behind a tree.

Arthur: Francine?

They walk over to her.

Francine: I have to talk to you. It's this clean-up thing.

Arthur: I know, I know, you don’t want to do it. I’m sorry. It was my dad's idea. Please don't you yell at me too.

Francine: No, no, I wanted to warn you about…

Mr. Frensky: Hey hey, it's the Clean-Up Boy!

Mr. Frensky walk up to them.

Francine: …my dad.

Mr. Frensky: It’s a rare thing these days to find a young man eager to join the ranks of the environmental sanitation profession. Welcome!

''He slaps Arthur on the shoulder. Arthur rubs it.''

Arthur: Uh...thanks, Mr. Frensky.

Mr. Frensky: Listen, I’ve got the afternoon free and I thought I could teach you a few tricks of the trade.

Arthur: But I…

Mr. Frensky: No need to thank me. I’ll be by to pick you up right after your game.

''He leaves. Francine comes out of hiding.''

Francine: My Dad can be a bit too… enthusiastic?

Arthur: (sighs) I have exactly the same problem.

***

Later, Arthur and Buster play against Francine and Prunella.

Prunella+Francine: Yeah!

Arthur: Play you guys one more?

Francine: Arthur, are you crazy? You've been saying that all day! Even I'm getting tired.

Arthur: Come on, it’ll be…

''Buster taps him on the shoulder and points. A truck horn sounds. Mr. Frensky waves from his garbage truck.''

Arthur: Aw…

''He hands Buster the ball and walks over. Francine waves goodbye. Arthur gets into the truck.''

Arthur: Hi, Mr. Frensky.

Mr. Frensky: I thought we'd head over to Sanitation Central first. I think you'll find it fascinating!

Arthur: Sure.

They drive off with Arthur looking worried.

***

Mr. Frensky and Arthur walk along the empty corridor of an office building.

Mr. Frensky: This place is like our nerve center. Our war room. Action, power - it all happens right here.

Arthur: It doesn't seem very... um… active.

''Mr. Frenksy opens a door. Behind it is a large control room with people sitting at desks and working at large computers.''

Arthur: Wow!

They walk up to a technician.

Mr. Frensky: Afternoon, Alisha! How's she running?

Alisha: Paper recycling’s at 70% of capacity. Plant B flow is at five million gallons and hour. A lady on Elm Street has a big pile of stinky fish bones in her backyard. She says it's fertilizer.

They reach a desk where a man works on a computer.

Mr. Frensky: Keep me posted! Before we tackle any major project, Matt here designs a computer simulation. I asked him to work something up for your World’s End Park idea.

Matt: Would you like to give it a try?

Arthur nods.

A computer screen shows the park full of litter.

Matt: It all depends on how many kids join your Clean-Up Brigade. If only one kid joins, garbage will keep building up.

The simulation shows the park drowning in litter and the pond bursting into flame.

Matt: But see what happens if you get more kids to join.

''Matt sets the number of kids to 15. The simulation shows a clean park and a duck landing on the pond.''

Arthur: Wow! Is that really how it'll work?

Matt: Well, there are a few variables but, yeah, provided you get the equipment.

Mr. Frensky: Which reminds me, Matt. Do we have any spare uniforms?

Arthur: Oh no, I don't need a...

***

''Arthur stands in another room with Mr. Frensky. He is wearing olive overalls and a cap. Mr. Frensky shows him a trashcan on wheels.''

Mr. Frensky: Let’s start with the basics. This here is our rolling flip-top garbage can - a C1 as we call them. And this pointy stick here is your number one park cleaning tool.

Arthur: What's it called?

Mr. Frensky: A pointy stick.

Arthur: Oh.

Mr. Frensky: Now, there’s one more thing I want to show you.

***

Arthur and Mr. Frensky walk down to the garbage truck garage.

Mr. Frensky: Ever since human civilization began, people have pondered the question, "Who will take out the garbage?" Arthur, we sanitation engineers believe that man was put on Earth for a purpose. Not to pollute the planet but to preserve it, to keep it healthy, beautiful and clean.

Arthur: I, um...

Mr. Frensky: So, that’s my speech. I'll see you at the park tomorrow at four o'clock, with your volunteers.

Arthur: If there are any volunteers.

***

The next afternoon, Arthur puts on the uniform in his room, then he walks down the stairs, to where his family is waiting.

Arthur: Here goes nothing.

Mrs. Read: We're very proud of you, Arthur.

***

''Arthur wheels his C1 trashcan to the Baxters’ condominium. Pal accompanies him. Bitzi comes to the door.''

Arthur: Is Buster here? It’s Arthur. We're supposed to go to the Clean-Up Brigade.

Mrs. Baxter: No, Buster's not home right now, I'm afraid.

Arthur walks away.

Arthur: It figures.

***

''The Crosswires' doorbell rings. Muffy peeps from behind a curtain at Arthur walking away.''

Muffy: (gasps)

***

Arthur uses the Frenskys' door intercom.

Francine (on intercom): I’m sorry, Arthur, I have homework.

Arthur: I can't believe this.

Francine is upstairs.

Francine: Why don’t you just forget about it, Arthur. You'll never get the park cleaned up all by yourself. It's impossible.

***

''Arthur goes to work in the park. A family is just leaving a picnic table.''

Boy: Hey, Mom! Where should I put this trash?

Mom: Hurry up! Let's go!

''The boy throws the trash behind him and runs after his family. A piece of waste paper lands beside Arthur. He looks around at all the litter.''

Arthur: This is impossible!

Pal: (whines)

***

''Arthur pulls his can behind him towards the exit. Molly, Binky and Rattles sit on a bench. Nearby, an older man (Alfonz) and a boy play chess.''

Arthur: Well, at least I can tell Dad we tried.

Molly: Hey, Clean-Up Boy! Nice outfit!

Rattles eats candy and throws the wrapper in front of Arthur’s feet.

Rattles: We thought you might need some trash to clean up.

Molly: What's the matter, Captain Clean-Up? Aren't you gonna pick it up?

Rattles throws some more wrappers out of his pocket.

Arthur: Aw…

Rattles: You're not just gonna leave that litter on the ground, are you, Clean-up Boy? That's not doing your job!

Molly: (laughs)

Binky: Come on, guys, leave him alone!

Alfonz: What's going on over there?

Boy: Don't get involved.

Arthur: You clean it up! I'm going home! Come on, Pal! He notices that Pal is eating the wrappers. Pal!

Pal: (chokes)

Arthur: (gasps) The Tough Customers look worried. Help! Somebody help! My dog's choking!

''Alfonz comes running and performs a sort of Heimlich maneuver. Pal spits out the wrapper.''

Arthur: Pal!

The man hands Pal over to Arthur.

Binky: Thank goodness!

Alfonz: Ah, I knew there had to be some reason I went to medical school.

Molly: Well, guess we'll get going now.

''They start leaving. Arthur picks up the pointy stick.''

Arthur: Stop! They stop. You guys almost killed my dog with your trash. Enough’s enough. The Tough Customers look embarrassed. Now, who’s gonna help me clean up this park?

Molly: What??

Arthur: It’s impossible to clean this park by myself. Now who’s gonna help? The Tough Customers look foolish. No hands? Well, then I’ll give you your assignments. Molly, you start over there!

Molly: But…

Pal: (growls)

Molly: All right, all right. Don’t have kittens!

She goes.

Arthur: Now you two! Let’s see what we can do about those papers!

Mr. Frensky arrives in a pickup with more trashcans in the back.

Mr. Frensky: Arthur! Are these your volunteers?

Arthur: Well. Yeah, I guess they are.

Mr. Frensky: Well, there's plenty of stuff in the truck. Let’s start handing it out.

***

Mr. Frensky hands out equipment to the Tough Customers, Alfonz and the boy.

Mr. Frensky: Funny. I thought Francine said she'd be here.

Arthur: Me too. But it turns out she...

Francine arrives on her bike.

Francine: Arthur! Dad! Sorry I'm late. I had to track down everyone. I was afraid you wouldn't have enough volunteers. Muffy, Buster and Sue Ellen (in karate dress) come on foot. Arthur, I’m sorry I tried to get out of helping you. I guess I... What the...?!

She sees the Tough Customers.

Mr. Frensky: Seems Arthur has things under control.

Francine: But… how did you...? How did they…?

Arthur: These guys showed me how important it was to keep the park clean.

Binky: Yeah, somebody could choke if they tried to eat this garbage!

Arthur: (chuckles) Right, Binky. Pointy stick?

He hands one to Francine.

All the kids are at work.

Francine: Hey! This is kind of fun!

Buster: Arthur! I think I've found a frisbee!

***

Later, the park is clean and the kids play with the frisbee.