Crushed/Transcript

Buster: ♪♪ There are things that make me blue, like an old, forgotten shoe, or a candy bar that I have never tried. History tests are crummy, soggy toast ain't yummy, and the weatherman on the radio, he just lied. Or you're playing with your poodle, and he bites you on your noodle, you hit your head on the bed. That's gotta smart. But nothing feels so bad, can make you so darn sad, as when a baby-sitter sits upon your heart! Upon your heart! Oh, yeah! Upon your heart. ♪♪

Arthur: Stop! Cut! No more! You were going to tell them?

Buster: Well, yeah, it makes a good song.

Arthur: Ladies and gentlemen, due to technical difficulties there will be no show today.

Buster: Don't listen to him. He's just embarrassed. Roll the tape, Greg! It's a good story, Arthur. (groans) (roars) (laughs)

Arthur: I don't need a baby-sitter. I'm eight years old. I've even been a baby-sitter!

Jane: Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Arthur: Is it going to be Mrs. Grouse? She makes us dance.

D.W.: I like Mrs. Grouse. The jitterbug is good for your arthuritis, Arthur.

Arthur: D.W., I don't have arthuritis.

David: Mrs. Grouse is busy. You're going to have someone new this time, Sally MacGill.

Arthur (grumbles): Sally MacGill. She sounds mean.

Sally: Your parents want a clean house and that's what I intend to give them! And hurry it up! It's 7:30, almost time for bed!

Arthur: (groans) Don't stay out too late, okay? (doorbell rings)

Jane: Kids, come downstairs. The baby-sitter's here. (groans)

Sally: Hi, Arthur.

Arthur: Hey.

D.W.: You look too young to be a baby-sitter. Can I see some I.D.?

Jane: Sally's 16, D.W., that's 12 years older than you. You have to do what she says tonight. Our contact information is in the kitchen. Have a great time, kids!

Sally: Before we have fun, let's get some business out of the way.

Arthur: No TV until I've finished my homework no staying up late, brush, floss. I know the drill. Call me when dinner's ready.

Sally: I wanted to know which ice cream he likes Chunky Skunk or Choco-Chimp.

D.W.: Arthur doesn't like ice cream. You can give his portion to me. And my bedtime is 11:00. If we're watching a really good movie, then it's 12:00. (groaning and growling)

Sally: Oh, no, the cows are coming! What should we do, D.W.? Use the shield or throw our magic ankhs at them?

D.W.I don't know. I like it when the bunny jumps—that's funny.

Arthur: Curse of the Moomy!

Sally: Yeah—is it okay if I play your video games?

Arthur: Sure.

Sally: Wow, you're really good. My high score is 22,000.

Arthur: 22,000? That's almost as high as my high score. We could use your help. We're on level four.

D.W.: Here, take mine. This game is boring. The cows don't even sing. (game beeping)

Arthur: Level 12!

Sally: I've never gotten thisfar before!

Arthur: Me, neither, but I've heard this is where the high priestess Nocaloreeti lives the mommy of all moomies!

Jane: We're home.

Arthur (groans): Already?

David: Sorry, Arthur—Rigoletto is a short opera.

Arthur: Don't you want to go out for dessert? We were just going to enter level 12.

Sally: We'll save the game. We can pick it up later.

Jane: Thanks a lot, Sally. I hope they weren't much trouble.

Sally: No trouble at all, Mrs. Read. Later, Bovinator!

Jane: So I take it you and Sally had fun? Arthur?

Arthur: Huh? Oh, yeah. She's okay. Hey, Dad, Wagner's Ringcycle is coming to town. It's a nine-hour opera! I thought you might be interested since you had such a good time the other night. There's a meeting tomorrow. You might want to go. It's about speed bumps—an important issue. A free clogging lesson half off your dinner at Trattoria Verdi and a lecture on the Maya. Did you know their temples are actually calendars?

David: Are you trying to get rid of us, Arthur?

Arthur: No, I just thought you should get out a little more.

David: I have been wanting to try Trattoria Verdi.

Arthur: All right! I mean, you deserve it. Only nine more minutes! (grunting)

Both: Nocaloreeti—the mommy of all moomies! (roaring) (doorbell rings)

Arthur (excitedly): Hey, Sally, I finished my homework so we can start playing...

Mrs. Grouse: Yes, that's it! Way to swing, D.W.! Come on, Arthur! Put some hip into it!

Sally: (singing on "la") (sheep bleats) Oh, no—a flying sheep zombie escaped from the tombs of Cowkanahten! (bleating)

Bionic Bunny: Don't worry, Sally! I, Bionic Bunny, will save you! (bleating frantically) (screams) Its wool is so coarse! My hands are bleeding! I'm out of here!

Sally: Oh, no! The sheep zombie is going to lick me! Help! Help! (bleating shrilly)

Arthur: Lamburger, Sally?

Sally: Arthur Read, you're my hero!

Buster: Cool drawing! (yells) Who's the girl?

Arthur: What girl?

Buster: The girl in the picture.

Arthur: Oh, that girl—uh, I don't know, no one. Don't you have some reading to do?

Buster: Hmm.

Arthur: (is about to leave the kitchen, and notices his dad wearing a suit of armor) Nice suit. Are we having dragon for dinner?

David: (smiles) The head caterer at the Medieval Reenactment Society has the flu. So I'm filling in tonight.

Jane: Luckily, your father found some help. Sally and a friend are coming over to stay with you and D.W.

Arthur: I hope that's okay.

Sally: Wow, you're quite an artist, D.W. Okay, Arthur, choose an activity.

Arthur: Dark Bunny VI: Curse of the moomy,level 12.

Sally: What a surprise. (doorbell rings) Oh, that must be my friend.

Arthur: What friend?

Sally: Arthur, D.W., meet Corey. My boyfriend.

Corey: Hey, dude.

D.W.: I.D., please. You have to be at least 16 to baby-sit us.

Sally: Hey, Arthur, I thought we were going to play.

Arthur: Um, maybe some other time. I have some math homework to finish.

Jane: Hi, honey. Everything go okay tonight?

Arthur: Ah, great. Mom? Are you and Dad going out again anytime soon?

Jane: No, not that I know of.

Arthur: Good.

Sally: (singing on "la") (sheep bleating fiercely) Oh, no! Another big, flying sheep zombie! Arthur, help!

Arthur: Why don't you have Corey help you? He's your boyfriend!

Corey: Me? I'm just a dorky, floppy-haired teenager. I can barely see.

Arthur: Good sheep!

Buster: Hey, is that the same girl you drew before?

Arthur: Yeah. I mean, no! Don't you have some reading to do?

Buster: Reading? We're in the Sugar Bowl.

Arthur: Oh, right.

Buster: You've been acting weird lately. What's wrong?

Arthur: You have to promise not to tell anyone. I mean it this time.

Buster: Okay.

Arthur: I have this baby-sitter and, well, I really like her. We were playing Curse of the Moomy. We had just gotten to level 12 and...

Buster: Say no more. I understand.

Arthur: You do?

Buster: Yep. You were crushed. She walked all over you, right?

Arthur: Well, yeah, I guess.

Buster: You're just not ready, Arthur. Keep away from her.

Arthur: You think so?

Buster: I know so. Hey, I've got an idea! Stay over at my place Friday night.

Arthur: Okay. Thanks. I feel better already! (rings doorbell)

Guess what? Our night will be better than we thought! Mom went out with Harry, so we have a baby-sitter!

Sally: You guys want pepperoni pizza? (gasps)

Buster: Your parents recommended her! She even plays video games!

Sally: Oh, I'm just an amateur. Arthur's the pro.

Arthur: Uh, excuse me, I have to unroll my sleeping bag. (angrily) Thanks a lot, pal!

Buster: What did I say?

Sally: Still unrolling that sleeping bag?

Arthur: I guess I got kind of distracted. Thanks.

Sally: I was just telling Buster how much fun we had last time. I wish Corey was into video games.

Arthur: You don't play with him?

Sally: No. He's a nice guy but he never makes it past level one. Luckily, I've found someone equally matched to play with.

Arthur: You did? Who?

Sally: Oh, a new friend named Arthur Read.

Arthur: You know, Buster has Curse of the Moomy. Want to find out how tough Nocaloreeti really is? (video game beeping) (solemn music playing) (groan)

Sally: Oh, well. Time for bed, you guys.

Arthur: Wow, level 12 is a killer.

Buster: I told you, Arthur. She crushes you, and then walks all over you. That's why she's the mommy of all moomies.

Arthur: Wait, you were talking about Nocaloreeti back in the Sugar Bowl?

Buster: Yeah—who'd you think I was talking about?

Arthur (chuckling): I thought... Forget it.

Buster: No, tell me—who?

Arthur: No one.

Buster: I can keep a secret!

Arthur: Forget it, Buster!