The Long, Dull Winter/Transcript

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Nigel Ratburn: Now, I'd like you all to open up your exercise books and take down the (voice gradually begins to slow) following equations which you will have to solve for tomorrow's class.

(Everything slows down. Arthur looks up from his schoolwork at the clock on the wall, on which the second hand is struggling to move.)

Ratburn: (whose voice, at this point, has slowed to a barely legible drone) Seven times three equals... nineteen times two equals...

Arthur Read: Ever have one of those days when it feels like time is passing really slowly?

(Arthur looks at Buster and Francine, who are both glumly staring down at their papers, and then back at the clock. The second hand finally manages to tick forward one second. Outside the window, a bird floats by, flapping its wings at a very sluggish pace.)

Ratburn: 47 plus 93 equals—and remember, you'll be having to carry a digit on that one...

Arthur: Is it just me? I mean, only two seconds have gone by, but it feels like a lot longer, doesn't it?

Ratburn: 973...

(the second hand on the clock bends, as if resisting movement, until it finally ticks forward again)

Arthur: Okay, three seconds. Big whoop! Has this ever happened to you?

Ratburn: (seems to take forever just to bring the chalk to the board) ...minus 812 equals...

Arthur: Am I bored? No! I know what "bored" feels like!

(scene changes)

Arthur: (v.o.) That's like when D.W. watches Mary Moo Cow.

Mary Moo Cow: One, two, three. Fuzzy, cuddly kitties. Three! Let's count them again!

Arthur: That reminds me! There's a hockey game on Channel 3!

D.W. Read: NO! MOM, ARTHUR'S TRYING TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL WHEN THE BABY'S WATCHING THE EDUCATIONAL SHOW THAT'S GOOD FOR HER BRAIN!

Mary Moo Cow: Let's count them one more time! One, two, three! Fuzzy, cuddly kitties! Three!

(back in Ratburn’s classroom)

Arthur: That's boring. So what is this? What's happening to me?! (he puts his head down)

(Title Card)

Binky Barnes: (V.O.) The Long, Dull Winter.

Buster Baxter: Ah!