Muffy and the Big Bad Blog/Transcript

Arthur Read: Have you ever been with someone who...

Muffy Crosswire: Wait! Wait! Slow down! Arthur is saying, "Have you ever been with someone who..." OK, you can keep going!

Arthur: ..someone who has to write down everything that happens?

Muffy: "Someone who has to write down everything that happens?"

Arthur: Stop! I'm TRYING to play tennis!

Muffy: Arthur misses the shot. Your backhand needs some work.

[ARTHUR GRUNTS]

Muffy: Arthur grunts when he serves.

Arthur: What?! No, I don't!

Muffy: Now Arthur is losing his cool.

Arthur: I am not losing my cool! I just don't like you writing down every single thing I do! Argh!

Muffy: Arthur, I think you would do a lot better if you pay more attention to the game. Ohh!





Muffy: Excuse me! Excuse me! I have an announcement! This holiday weekend, I will be going to Costa Rica! If you want to learn more about my exciting adventures, you can visit my new blog.

Mr. Ratburn: Thank you, Muffy. I'll try to swing by. Can I bring anything?

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Blog is short for weblog. When you blog, you write your thoughts in a computer file and post them on a website for others to read.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Fascinating. I have to write this down.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: As I was saying, even though none of you can afford to come with me, don't feel bad - just read the Muffington Post!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Trip: Hey, hey, I'm Trip. Can I help you find something? A USB port, peripherals, MP3s?

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: I'm looking to get a new computer. One that can connect me to...the... internet.

<p class="MsoNormal">Trip: They all do that. What kind of connection do you have now?

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Er...none, actually. I do have a telephone.

<p class="MsoNormal">Trip: A newcomer like you should start with our most...user-friendly version. It's pricey, but well worth the expense.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: All right, class. Your next project will involve research on a favourite author. Now...

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I'm back!

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: How was Costa Rica?

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Was it rainy?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Was it as great as you said in your blog?

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: How did you get to blog so much?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Now, now. I know you have lots of questions about my trip, and I promise to answer them all later - on my blog.

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Did you need to learn Costa Rican?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Binky! They speak Spanish there. I think. Anyway, just post your questions on my blog. Even though I'll only have time to respond to the best ones.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: "The response to my blog was overwhelming.   Many of you commented that my blog could change the face of blogging."

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Now she's blogging about...blogging?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Where are those instructions? This is it? But there's no writing on it. Ah, I probably have to put it in the computer. But how do I turn the computer on without reading what's on this silver disc? It's a paradox!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: And with the MySmartphoney, I can connect to the internet anywhere!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Cool! Can you get on the internet now?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I've been on since I got up. In fact, I should write about this right now in my blog.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: What are you writing?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You'll just have to wait and see!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Hm.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Hey! Where'd they go? Probably running home to read my blog.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: [GASPS] But...I was in the middle of a post!

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: You can have this...calculator back at the end of class.

<p class="MsoNormal">[BELL RINGS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: This is indeed a fascinating device. But it's now allowed in the classroom. And you need to do other things in life besides blogging.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's true! If I don't do other things, I won't have anything to blog about! Thanks!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Can we PLEASE do something else?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Hold on! I missed a lot of post today when Mr Ratburn took my phone.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: But I came over to your house to do something together!

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: OK! Let's read my next post together!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I'd rather just talk to you.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Oh, Francine. Talking is so 20th century!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: [SIGHS]

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<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: All right. Booting up, and...Huzzah! I'm connected to the internet! Computer: 'You have 17 new messages.'

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: My, that was fast. "Earn money from home without doing any work"? Now THERE'S an idea!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: So, has everyone read my blog today?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine, Buster and Binky: [SIGH]

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Why not? I wrote about the colours I'm thinking of for the new curtains in my room.

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Muffy, your blog is getting a little...boring.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: [GASPS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: You can't just write that you had a salad for lunch. Who wants to read that?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: A blog needs to have an angle. Something people CARE about.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Jules Verne began his career writing for Opera.

<p class="MsoNormal">[PHONE RINGS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Hello?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Francine, I found an angle, just like you said! Are you at your computer?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Yeah, but...

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Go to my blog! It's important!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: [SIGHS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: "Your humble blogger dissed by BFF. Take the poll - Was Francine right or wrong to refuse to read her best friend's blog? Vote now!"?! Ooh! I can't believe her! "Dear Muffy, you have no right to take a poll about whether I should read your silly blog."

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<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: I don't think there was anything wrong with your e-mail to Muffy - No matter what the polls say.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: How do you know what was in my e-mail?

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: Muffy posted it on her blog.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: She what?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Francine, that fight we had was great! It generated the most traffic I've had in a week!

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: (That was just between you and me! Can't anything be private?!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's a good topic for discussion! I'll post it!

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: My mom says, "Never put anything in an e-mail that you wouldn't want on the front page of a newspaper."

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Newspaper! That's it!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Taking the Frensky Star online makes good business sense. All set - the online edition is up and running.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: "It has long been the policy of the Frensky Star to speak out against injustice.   Therefore, we must condemn a new bully of the blogosphere."

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Aren't you supposed to cover news?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Our motto is "the latest in Elwood City news and opinion."

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: But that's ALL opinion. Where's the news?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I've got it! "Breaking news - The Frensky Star is now online!"

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<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: "Bully of the blogosphere"?! Ha! "Some people aren't just bad friends.   They're also copycats.   How much of a copycat do you think Francine is?   Copycat-ish, very copycat-ish or extremely copycat-ish?   Vote now!"

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: The nerve! "Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, The Muffington Post hits a new all-time low."

<p class="MsoNormal">[PHONE BEEPS]

<p class="MsoNormal">[COMPUTER BEEPS]

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur and Buster: [GASP]

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: "Dear N. Ratburn, Congratulations!   You have won a great deal to buy swamp land in Florida." Goody! Close... No! Not more windows. Close! Close!

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Have you been following Francine and Muffy's feud on the Internet?

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: It's better than the time the bionic bunny battled Darth Bunny in the 7th dimension.

<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: Don't you feel bad that you're enjoying their fight so much?

<p class="MsoNormal">Buster: I felt bad for enjoying Bionic Bunny's galactic exile, but that didn't stop me from watching it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I did not. You started it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: I was just blogging.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You wrote that I wasn't your best friend any more.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You wrote that I betrayed your trust.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Well, you did!

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: Hey, guys! You've got to come look on the library computers. There's a whole website devoted to Muffy and Francine's feud!

<p class="MsoNormal">Both Francine and Muffy: What?

<p class="MsoNormal">Brain: "And the funniest part is they're both doing the same thing they're accusing the other one of." Signed, Mr Chatterblog.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: He has no right to say those things about us.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Who is this Mr Chatterblog anyway?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: So, do you like my blog?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You?

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You?

<p class="MsoNormal">Binky: Hey, I call them as I see them. I already got 112 hits.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: We don't need to take this, do we, Francine?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: No, we don't. From now on, if I insult you it's going to be in private.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Ditto!

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<p class="MsoNormal">Arthur: "Frensky Star and Muffington Post announce merger."

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: That's right! We're pooling our resources.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: And we're starting a new advice column called ‘She Said, She Said’.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: You send in your problem and get two opinions about what to do.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: Muffy! You were completely ahead of the curve on this internet thing. My new Boysenberry allows me to post from just about anywhere.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: You're writing a blog, Mr Ratburn?

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: It's called The Rat's Nest. It's mainly devoted to correcting common solecisms and grammatical errors. You should post your comments.

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: Er...maybe later, Mr Ratburn.

<p class="MsoNormal">Muffy: Want to go to the park?

<p class="MsoNormal">Francine: I thought you'd never ask.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Ratburn: There are also some delightful puns on my blog. And word problems and photos from my trip to Reykjavik.