What's the Use of Presents?

What's the Use of Presents? is a song from the special Arthur's Perfect Christmas. It is also the eleventh track on the special's soundtrack album, which includes a bit of additional dialogue by Arthur not heard in the television special.

The song is about Muffy feeling empty at Christmas-time because she had a fight with Francine after she got upset with her for not coming to her Christmas party because she wanted to spend time with her family for Chanukah. The song has a similar melody to "Beauty school drop out" from the 1978 movie Greese

Lyrics
Arthur

37 presents? Wow, Muffy. This is probably your biggest Christmas ever. But why do you look so unhappy? Did you and Francine have a fight?

Muffy

I got a clubhouse

I think it's the biggest in the world

I'd be the princess

And Francine a serving girl

It'd be so neat

And if she was sweet

I might even let her be queen

But not this year

 ' Cause I can't call Francine

Check out this toy train

Something Francine would love to use

Maybe she'd drive it

While I eat cake in the caboose

I'd be warm in my stole

While she shoveled coal

Till there was nothing we hadn't seen

But not this year

 ' Cause I can't call Francine

Oh, these video games are just so lame

When you only play the computer

And who will I take to see Swan Lake?

I guess I will bring my tutor

Oh, that'll be a lot of fun.

Here is a puzzle

It's in 20,000 pieces

Maybe I'll finish it

By the time I have grandnieces

Oh, I got pretty dolls, stuffed animals, a miniature submarine

But what good are presents?

I find them so unpleasant

''Who wants presents if I can't share them with... Francine?''

Francine, Francine

Oh!