Goldilocks and The Bears Trio as Told by Sue Ellen

Goldilocks and The Bears Trio as Told by Sue Ellen is a retelling of the traditional story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears featured on the album Arthur's Really Rockin' Music Mix, presented in the form of a play. It is not based any material from the TV series and is also the only track that is not a song, as Sue Ellen claims that she can't sing.

The Play
Arthur

What are you gonna sing, Sue Ellen?

Sue Ellen

I can't sing.

Francine

Hey, we finally found something Sue Ellen can't do!

Sue Ellen

But I've written a play in stereo (echoes). Here are your parts, I'm the narrator. Ahem. Once upon a time, there were three bears: Daddy Bear.

Arthur

That's me. Hi!

Sue Ellen

Big Mama Bear.

Francine

I love being married to Daddy Bear!

Arthur

Hey, that's not in the script. Aw, Francine!

Francine

Eugh!

Sue Ellen

And precious, adorable little Baby Bear.

Binky

What?! Why am I a baby?! I'm bigger than my parents here!

Sue Ellen

Binky! Nobody can see you. It's just sound.

Binky

I don't feel like a baby. Can't I be their (puts on a Southern accent) cousin from down south who's a professional race car driver?

Sue Ellen

No! The Bears were musicians. Daddy played his harpsichord, (flat harpsichord playing) but it was too flat. Momma played her viola, (sharp viola playing) but it was too sharp. Baby Bear played the cello, just right.

Binky

This thing's kinda big for a baby to play.

Sue Ellen

Just play, Baby!

Binky

Okay, honey! (pleasant cello playing, which continues for a brief while as Sue Ellen narrates)

Sue Ellen

Mama and Daddy Bear decided to take a walk. While they were gone, a very beautiful little girl named Goldilocks came to their house and said....

Buster

My, what a very pretty house.

(loud giggling from everyone but Sue Ellen and Buster)

Sue Ellen

Buster?! What are you doing?! D.W. was supposed to be Goldilocks.

Buster

Well, she said the part wasn't big enough for her talent and left.

Sue Ellen

So sweet and pretty Goldilocks fluffed up her beautiful, pink flowery dress...

(laughter from the peanut gallery again)

Buster

This is embarrassing, skip ahead!

Sue Ellen

Suddenly there was knock on the door. It was the big, bad wolf! (sound of loud knocking)

Buster

(with German accent) Hello. I am Wolfgang!

Sue Ellen

(moans) Hold it! You're Goldilocks!

Buster

Yeah, but I was the wolf first. Does this mean I have to chase myself?

Sue Ellen

Let's just jump to the end. The Bears come home and find Goldie and the wolf in their house. The Bears are not happy about this.

Baby Bear

Mama, Daddy, stand back! Let Baby Bear take care of this!

Sue Ellen

Stick to the script, Baby!

Binky

Okay, sugar!

Sue Ellen

Then Goldilocks said...

Buster

Wolfgang and I tuned your instruments, didn't we? (as Wolfgang) Ja, we did!

Sue Ellen

So the Bears played and their instruments sounded just right. (all play well)

Buster

(as Goldilocks) Hey, can we play too? (as Wolfgang) ''Ja! I brought mein'' tuba! (begins playing tuba)

Sue Ellen

Then the Bears chased Goldilocks and the wolf out of the house! (sounds of the Bears growling)

Buster

(as Goldilocks) Ahhh! (as Wolfgang) Ooh! (as Goldilocks) Ahhh! (as Wolfgang) Ooh!

Binky

Finally some action!

Sue Ellen

(beautiful music playing resumes) They locked the door and the Three Bears played happily. The moral of the story is, "It's fun to take a walk in the woods, but you should never try to play with the bears."