The Ballad of Buster Baxter/Transcript

Art Garfunkel: (sings) This is the story 'bout the face on the cake / It belongs to Buster Baxter / Baby boy bunny Buster Baxter was born eight years ago / At first, all he did was cry and eat / And eat, and eat, and grow / Eat and grow, that's all he did / He met Arthur, they became friends / It was an historic day! / They always had lots of fun / They liked to read and play, hey! / Then one day, Buster found out he was gonna go

Arthur: Goodbye!

Buster: Goodbye, Arthur!

Art Garfunkel: Gonna go bye-bye / He went around the world a couple of times / We thought he left the show / Buster Baxter went away, then he came back / Buster Baxter, this is what he found.

Buster: It looks just like I never left!

(Intertitle)

Francine: (voice-over) The Ballad of Buster Baxter.

Buster: Hey!

(We now return to the story. Arthur and Buster are eating a Buster cake Arthur’s dad baked)

Buster: Mmm, great cake. I'm the only kid I know who got to eat his own face.

Arthur: That's exactly what I said!

Buster: Ah, sure feels good to be back. I was afraid things would have changed around here while I was gone.

(The Brain enters the room)

The Brain: Hey Buster! Glad you're back. I brought the scoreboard, Arthur.

Buster: Huh?

Arthur: (to Buster) While you were gone, we started a checker championship. Best of 5000 games! So far, it's a tie.

The Brain: We were scheduled to finish today.

Arthur: Oh, I forgot.

Buster: Go ahead. I'll watch. There's only... (reads board) seventy games left.

Arthur: But you just came home. There must be a way we can all play.

Art Garfunkel: Arthur didn't wanna leave Buster out, of that he can be proud! / But when you're playing checkers / Three's a crowd.

Arthur: You can't move that black piece. That's my black piece.

Buster: No, it's my black piece.

Arthur: No, (points to a black piece) that one is mine, (points to an identical piece) and this one is yours. You're jumping your own piece with my piece. It's easy: Brain is red, and his pieces go this way. I'm black, and I go that way. Buster, you have some red pieces and some black, a penny, a stamp, and the Monopoly shoe, and you go across the board that way.

Brain: Wait, that's- Ugh, my brain hurts.

Buster: Maybe I should just watch.

Arthur: Thanks, Buster. It's only because this is for the championship.

Buster: It's okay. It's just nice to be back with my friends again.

(pause)

Brain: What'd you say?