D.W.'s Library Card (episode)/Transcript


 * Arthur: [at the library] I love the library! There are so many books to read and great things to find out. But the best thing about the library is... [whispers] it's quiet.
 * D.W.: Arthur!!
 * Arthur: Except on days when I have to bring D.W.
 * D.W.:  What does this word say? [points at a word on a book]
 * Arthur: "The." [D.W. walks away] Another great thing about the library is I can check out all these books!
 * D.W.: Arthur!!
 * Arthur: What is it now?
 * D.W.:  What does this word say?
 * Arthur: "Red." [D.W. walks away] To take books out at the library, you need a library card. But it's easy to get one of those. All you have to do is...
 * D.W.: ARTHUR!!
 * Arthur: What?!
 * D.W.: How about this word?
 * Arthur: "Dog"! "The Red Dog," okay? Got it?! And stop being so noisy! See the sign? It says, "No talking."
 * D.W.: If I can't read "The Red Dog," how do you expect me to read that sign?
 * Arthur: Well... just go pester someone else-- I'm busy. [D.W. does so] Where was I? Oh, yeah-- all you need to do to get a library card is...
 * D.W: Shh! [whispers] The sign says, "No talking"!
 * Paige Turner:  [title card]   "D.W.'s Library Card."
 * Binky: [reading a book called Chopin to D.W.] And he published "Rondo in C Minor" when he was only 15 years old!            
 * Arthur: D.W.! [Binky gasps and closes the book] Stop bothering Binky! It's time for your puppet show in the kids' section.
 * D.W.: I wasn't bugging him. Binky was reading to me about Chopin: the great romantic composer.
 * Binky: No, I wasn't. Uhh, his name was Chopin [shows Arthur the cover of the book Kicking Koalas with a man on it] and he was a karate master. [to D.W.] You weren't listening!
 * Arthur: Sorry if my sister was bothering you. [grabs D.W.'s arm]
 * Binky: It's okay. Little kids should hear about important stuff-- like karate. [Arthur walks away with D.W. Binky opens the book he was reading to D.W. and continues reading it. D.W. spots a book]                        
 * D.W.: Ooh! [takes the book off the shelf] Arthur, look! A book on frogs!! Take it out for me? [shows it to Arthur] 
 * Arthur: Hopalong the Frog? Forget it! [hands the book back to D.W.]                                  
 * D.W.: But it's about frogs. Please, please, please, please, please?
 * Arthur: I can't take out baby books on my library card. It could go on my permanent record. [dreams about him checking out a book. Paige scans it and an alarm goes off]  
 * Alarm: WARNING! READER IS A BABY! ADULT BOOKS ARE OFF LIMITS! [surroundings block the adult books]
 * Paige Turner: Sorry, Arthur, the last book you took out was Hopalong the Frog! From now on, you can only take out baby books! [echoing] Baby books! Baby books! Baby books! [while the words "Baby books" echo, she presses a red button and arms come out of the front of the desk to dress up Arthur as a baby]
 * Francine and Muffy: [off-camera] Arthur's a baby! Arthur's a baby! [two robotic arms take a picture of Arthur while Francine and Muffy are teasing him. He stops dreaming and puts the book back on the shelf]
 * Arthur: Sorry, D.W., there's just... too much at stake.
 * D.W.: Yeah? Well, someday I'm gonna get my own library card [Arthur looks shocked] then I'll take out whatever I want. [walks away. Scene cuts to Mr. Ratburn finishing a puppet show. All of the kids cheer. Mr. Ratburn walks from behind the stage]
 * Paige Turner: Thank you. [Mr. Ratburn bows] Are there any questions?
 * D.W.: [raises her hand] When will we be old enough to get our own library cards?
 * Paige Turner: You are old enough, D.W.
 * D.W.: I am?! I'll take one... No, make that two! I want more cards than Arthur!! [the rest of the kids shout "I want one!"]
 * Paige Turner: Settle down, children. You can all have one. You just have to be able to write your full name. [D.W.'s jaw drops]
 * D.W.: I knew there was a catch!
 * Timmy Tibble: We can write our names!
 * D.W.: But my full name is Dora Winifred Read. I hardly ever say it. How can I write it?!
 * Tommy Tibble: You have it easy! Be glad you're not Aloysius Zimmerplotz. [points to Aloysius Zimmerplotz trying to write his full name on a piece of paper]
 * Aloysius Zimmerplotz: Oh, no! I ran out of room again. [crumples up the piece of paper. Scene cuts to D.W. and Arthur walking home from the library]
 * D.W.: And when I have my own library card, I'm gonna get Hopalong the Frog and you can't do anything about it!
 * Arthur: But you can't read!
 * D.W.: Ms. Turner didn't say that you have to read to take out books-- you just have to write your full name.
 * Arthur: You can't do that either!
 * D.W.: I know. But I'm gonna learn. You'll see. [scene cuts to D.W. sharpening her pencil and carrying a stack of paper to the kitchen table. She puts the stack of paper on the table] Uhh! [kracks her knuckles. She grabs her pencil and writes the letter "D" backwards. She crumples the piece of paper. She grabs a new one. She writes "Dora" but the "R" is written backwards. She crumples the piece of paper and grabs a new one. She writes the letter "D" backwards again but the pencil snaps. She growls angrily. The clock turns from 4:00 to 7:00. Three hours have passed. 22 crumpled pieces of papers are scattered across the floor. Arthur walks in and looks at D.W.'s new paper]             
 * Arthur: "Doba Minifred Reabed"? [the two "B"s are written backwards] Who's that?
 * D.W.: I can't do it! [puts her head on the table. Scene cuts to the Read family family D.W. is picking at her mashed potatoes with a fork] There are too many letters in my name. Why didn't you name me something simple, like A?
 * Jane: You seem to have "Dora Winifred" down. [the words "Dora Winifred" are written on D.W.'s mashed potatoes]
 * D.W.: Quick, Dad! More mashed potatoes! [David puts more mashed potatoes on D.W.'s plate. She writes "Read"] I wrote my name. I wrote my name! Look out, world, D.W. Read WRITES!! [scene cuts to D.W. at the library writing her full name over and over again on a piece of paper] "Dora Winifred... Read." "Dora Winifred Read." [the words "Dora Winifred Read] are written twice on the piece of paper]
 * Tommy Tibble: I bet D.W. messes up her name and doesn't get her library card!
 *   Timmy Tibble: Yeah, she can't even spell "D"!
 * D.W.: I can, too! I've already spelled it 100 times!
 * Jane: It's time to get in line. [scene cuts to D.W. waiting in line]
 * D.W.: What if the Tibbles are right? What if I forget my own name? What is my name? I forgot it! I forgot my name!