Buster Hits the Books/Transcript

(Open onto the episode as we see Arthur walking up in front of the screen in front of a book.)

Arthur: The great thing about books, is that there are all different kinds.

(We cut to a wider shot, as it is revealed that there are hundreds of books stacked next to each other like dominoes as Arthur begins walking past them. As Arthur talks the next line, we see a different book based on whatever genre he describes: a picture of a flying train going over a city; three basketball players; a cat wearing a hat, boots, and playing the trumpet with a mouse carrying a bindle, walking behind; and two kids being detectives holding magnifying glasses examining the ground. Arthur then approaches a big brown book.)

Arthur: There's fiction--that's made-up stuff, and non-fiction--that's real stuff. There's picture books and chapter books. There's books about history like this one.

(The moment Arthur opens the history book, a horse with a man riding on it comes stampeding very rapidly towards him, with a bunch of envelopes flying everywhere. Arthur yells with terror. The horse comes to an abrupt halt and whinnies as Arthur quickly shuts the book, panting.)

Arthur: History can be pretty exciting.

(Arthur walks up to the book right behind the history book. It's blue with an anchor illustrated on it.)

Arthur: Here's a book about the ocean.

(Like the history book, the moment Arthur opens the book, a large torrent of ocean water comes flowing out of the book. Arthur screams as Buster comes out wearing swimming goggles and his bathing cap, swimming in the water. A squid pops out from behind the book's covering, glaring at Arthur.)

Squid: What's the matter with you, you raised in a barn?

(Arthur looks surprised by this sudden appearance as the squid closes the book to go back inside. Arthur bangs his head, trying to get water out of his ears as Buster stands up to look at him.)

Buster: What are you doing, Arthur?

Arthur: I can't hear you!

(Arthur bangs against his head once more, and a sea creature pops out from one of his ears.)

Arthur: That's better.

(The sea creature walks up to the ocean book, knocks on it, and jumps back inside the ocean from inside the book.)

Arthur: (to Buster) I'm looking at all the different kinds of books.

Buster: Books? Who cares about books?

(Arthur gasps and falls backward in horror and bumps into the ocean book, knocking it over, then another, which leads to all the books knocking into one another, creating a domino chain. As this happens, characters from the books begin coming out of them: two men wearing jet packs, pirates, the horse and man from the history book (to which Arthur screams again), a gorilla, several kids, a princess, a suit of armor, Dracula, Little Red Riding Hood, Frankenstein, and a mummy, which begins walking out of its tomb.)

(Title Card)

Buster Hits the Books

Written by: Joe Fallon --- Storyboard by: J.O'Neill & I. Tankushev

Francine (voiceover): Buster Hits the Books

Arthur: Ya-Hoo!

(We fade into Mr. Ratburn's class where Ratburn has written a long math equation: "36 divided by 3 times 24 minus 13 plus 20 divided by 14 plus 3 minus 20 times 10"

Buster: Am I the only one whose brain hurts?

Arthur: (whispers as he copies down the equation) The last time I've seen this many numbers in a row, I was paying for a broken window out of my allowance.

Mr. Ratburn: Who has the answer? Buster?

Arthur: (to Buster) You'd better get it right.

Buster: (nervously) I-Is it z-zero?

Mr. Ratburn: Correct.

(At that moment the school bell rings as the class begins to get up and leave the classroom. Buster rubs his forehead in relief)

Buster: (to himself) Ah, I thought I was I gonna die.

Mr. Ratburn: (to the class as they leave) Don't forget, your book reports are due tomorrow morning.

(Arthur and Buster walk up to Fern and Brain, who have already left the classroom, standing near the lockers.)

Fern: What are you writing your book report on, Arthur?

Arthur: I've been reading a lot of good books lately. I'm trying to choose between the two best.

Brain: If you can't decide, I've read an exciting book about magnetic fields that I highly recommend.

(Arthur, Buster and Fern's mouths fall open)

Fern: No thanks, it can't be as good as ''"The Case of the Creepy Shadow." (she pulls out that book.)''

Brain: What about you, Buster? (he pulls out a set of magnets sticking to one another) It's intriguing reading and comes with six free magnets.

Buster: Um, sounds great, Brain, but I plan to do what I always do. Book reports are no sweat.

(Fade to later that night, at Buster's Condo where Buster is watching a movie on TV, eating a bowl of purple chips. Meanwhile, we transition to Fern in her room, with the lights turned off except for her desk lamp, writing her book report.)

Fern: (while writing) ''"Only one thing could've set the horses free..." (beat) "The creepy shadow..."''

(Transition back to Buster watching his movie, now eating mini-sandwiches, while hanging upside-down in his chair. Transition to Brain, writing his book report, while at his computer desk, with two pairs of magnets near each other.)

Brain: (while writing) ''"Opposites attract." (He slides one of the magnet closer to the other. The two magnets click together on their opposite poles) "This has been proven by scientific research performed in my room."''

(Transition back to Buster leaning forward on the edge of his chair, with his fingers moving inside his mouth as he excitedly watches the movie. Transition to Arthur writing his book report, with his bedroom lights off except for the light at his desk.)

Jane: (off-screen, from downstairs) Arthur! Bedtime!

Arthur: (calling back) Ten more minutes, Mom! I have to finish this book report!

(A screen mashup is shown, displaying Arthur, Brain, and Fern writing their book reports, while Buster has already gone to bed. Transition to next morning where Arthur and Buster are walking to school, going past The Sugar Bowl. Arthur has bags under his eyes.)

Buster: You look tired.

Arthur: (yawning and pulls out his book report paper from his backpack) I had to get up extra early to finish my book report. Didn't you do one?

Buster: (stops walking) Of course I did.

(Buster takes off his backpack, opens it up, and pulls something that looks like a book. It has a hideous green creature on the front and a title that reads: Pa-Kanong Creature With The Big Face.)

Buster: Here it is.

Arthur: (reading the title) ''"Pa-Kanong: Creature With The Big Face". (takes it out of Buster's hands) ''I wish I read that. Can I borrow it?

Buster: (takes it back) I... don't... think so.

(Buster rubs against the case)

Arthur: Why not? I've returned everything I borrowed from you. Even that gum.

Buster: I can't loan it to you.

(Binky comes up on his bike and notices the cover in Buster's hands, smiling confidently as he looks at him over his shoulder.)

Binky: "Pa-Kanong"... Hey! I saw that on the Giant Monster Channel last night. (on the verge of tears) Big, ugly, misunderstood. I cried.

(Binky rides away.)

Arthur: (shocked) Buster! Is that why you can't loan your book to me? You did a book report about a movie?

Buster: (as he puts the DVD back his backpack) So? That's how I do all my book reports. All movies come from books.

(Arthur shakes his head. Buster puts his hands up on his face, panic-stricken.)

Buster: They don't? Uh-oh!

(Fade to Arthur and Buster at the Elwood City Library. Arthur is at the front desk, while Ms. Turner is typing, and Buster is pacing around anxiously.)

Buster: (under his breath) Be a book. Please, be a book.

Ms. Turner: Sorry. No book called "Pa-Kanong: Creature With The Big Face" was ever published. But it was a movie in 1957. Would you like the video?

(Buster turns to Arthur with an upset look on his face, while Arthur looks back for a brief moment.)

Arthur: (to Ms. Turner) No thank you.

(Fade to Arthur and Buster approaching the school with Buster hanging his head down in despair)

Buster: This is a tragedy.

Arthur: What are you gonna do?

Buster: (lightens up) My dad's a pilot. Maybe he could fly me out of the country. (goes back to hopeless mode) No. Mom's making my favorite dinner tonight. (Sits down on the curb, pulling down his ears) Ratburn will give me an "F" for sure.

Arthur: Knowing Ratburn, probably "F minus." Maybe even a "G" or an "H."

Buster: I guess I should tell Mr. Ratburn before class, so everyone doesn't have to watch me flunk. (puts his face in his lap)

(Fade to Arthur and Buster inside the school, looking through the classroom window door, as Mr. Ratburn opens his briefcase.)

Arthur: (to Buster) You sure you want to go through with this?

Buster: It's a far, far better thing to do than it would be to cry and run home.

(Buster walks into the classroom and Arthur closes the door. Fade to later, as Arthur and the rest of the class walk in, while Buster looks down miserably at his desk.)

Arthur: (to Buster) Did he give you an "F"?

Buster: No. He said that if I hand in a report on a real book on Friday, I won't get penalized.

Arthur: That's great!

(Buster sadly puts his hands on his face, while Arthur looks sorry for his friend. Fade to later at lunch in the cafeteria. Arthur, Francine and Brain notice Buster hardly eating his food.)

Francine: Something weird is going on. Buster put down his fork and there's still food on his plate.

Arthur: (to Buster) Why are you sad? All you have to do is read a book by Friday.

Buster: Arthur, I have a confession to make. I've never read a whole book in my entire life.

(Brain spits his juice out in surprise, while Francine, feeling the same, drops her sandwich.)

Arthur: Sure you did.

Buster: Nope.

Arthur: Yes you did.

Buster: No!

Arthur: What about the Scare-Your-Pants-Off books we all read?

Buster: (putting his head down on the table) I only watched the TV show. (moans guiltily, while Arthur, Francine, and Brain look on in surprise)

(Fade to recess. Arthur and Buster are sitting in the mid-section of the monkey bars of the jungle gym while Francine hangs upside-down from the bars and Brain sits on the higher section of the jungle gym.)

Arthur: Whatever book Buster reads for this report will be the first book he's ever read. He needs suggestions.

Brain: (hands down a scientific book) This "Molecular Theorem" book changed my life forever.

Francine: It's his first book. Go easy. My first book was, "Ponies Go to Paris".

Arthur, Buster, and Brain: (sticking their tongues out in disgust) Yuck!

Francine: (as she flips herself off the bars) Well, it can't be anything too hard. I tried to read something hard and didn't read anything else for a long time because it was hard.

Brain: Molecules are very small. Small things are easy.

(Francine, Muffy, Fern, and Brain begin arguing at the same time)

Francine: Molecules are NOT easy!

Fern: Forget science.

Francine: I can't even spell "molecules".

Fern: Hey, "Sherlock Holmes".

Muffy: I have the answer: Short books.

Brain: Simple.

Muffy: Very, very short books.

Arthur: (stopping the argument) HEY! (to Buster as he hands him a book) Here. Take the latest Scare-Your-Pants-Off book. You'll like it.

Buster: (looking at the cover) "Curse of the Jumping Peanut."

Arthur: See, you're reading it already.

(Fade to the next day, where Buster is walking to school as Arthur and Francine come running up to him in the opposite direction.)

Arthur: So how did you like the book?

Buster: I-I only got up to page 2.

Francine: (to Arthur) I told you it should be easier.

(Fade to the library where Buster is sitting at a desk with Arthur and Francine standing on both sides of him. Arthur hands Buster another book.)

Francine: That's an easier book. "Sam and the Sandwich Company."

Arthur: Read it right here. Don't move until you're done.

(Arthur and Francine walk away as Buster opens the book.)

Buster: (reading aloud) "The sun was shining the morning Sam won a tour...

(We transition to an imagination sequence of the book as Buster reads. A man with a sandwich hat shows Buster round the factory.

Buster: (reading aloud; offscreen) "...of the spectacular sandwich factory."

''Man: You lucky boy, you found the golden sandwich. And get to see my sand witches, and sandwiches.''

(He shows Buster an hourglass that molds a witch as the sand goes through.)

''Buster: Yeah? Well, I found a golden sandwich by biting it and broke off all my teeth.''

Man: (laughs) But you won all the real sandwichs you can eat.

''Buster: But I can't chew them. Do you have a soup factory? I'm starving.''

(Three troll workers of the factory come out and sing in unison.)

Trolls: When you break off all your teeth / It becomes so hard to eat.

Buster: Aw, I'm so hungry.

(Transition back to the library, where Buster has left his seat and left the book open on the table. Arthur and Francine run up to the desk.)

Arthur: (looks around) Buster?

Francine: (looks at the book) At least he made it to page 3.

(Transition to the Sugar Bowl where Buster is sitting in a booth eating an ice cream cone. Arthur and Francine walk in.)

Arthur: Buster, why did you stop reading?

Buster: I can't read that book. It makes me too hungry.

(Francine pushes Arthur away and speaks in his ear)

Francine: It was too hard. We need an easier one.

(Transition to the library again, where Buster holds up a different book.)

Buster: "The Jolly Jollisters"?

Francine: It's a family that solves mysteries and they're very happy while they do it. You'll love it.

Buster: (reads) "The mysterious ink stain..."

(Transition into another fantasy sequence of the book while Buster reads. A boy (Bud) with red hair, and wearing brown trousers and a green sweater, holds a magnifying glass and looks at an ink stain on a couch.)

Bud: This is a mystery that we must solve.

(A girl, who appears to be Bud's sister, appears.)

''Sister: Yes, Bud. We must.''

(A man, who appears to be the father, is sitting a chair, holding a smoking pipe.)

Father: How could this ink stain be on our couch when we Jollisters only write with pencils?

(Their pet dog appears, carrying a pen that's dripping ink on the floor, and puts it down.)

Dog: Woof, woof!

(Cut to Buster, wearing the mother's clothes and watching himself on the TV screen.)

''Buster: Could you guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch TV.''

(Transition back into the real world, where Buster is inside his house, watching TV in his living room. Arthur and Francine look in through his window.)

Arthur: Oh, no, he gave up again!

Francine: Even that was too hard!

(Transition back to the library, where Arthur hands Buster a children's book that's titled: I Don't Want to Go to Afkaphazoom.)

Arthur: I know you can read this one.

Francine: Just force yourself to keep reading.

Buster: (putting his hands on his face, looking hopeful) I'll try.

(Transition into another fantasy sequence of the book and the aforementioned scenes of the book play out as Buster reads.)

Buster: (reading aloud; offscreen) "A car with no driver climbed into my room and said, 'Let me drive you to Afkaphazoom.' The Bongogaremers waved as we passed. Downhill we went slow and uphill we went fast. Oobers, Baringsters, and a piece of the moon asked to come along to Afkaphazoom. I said, 'Let me out! There is not enough room and I don't care to go to Afkaphazoom!'"

(The car comes to a sudden stop in the middle of a bridge as birds chirp in the background.)

Piece of the Moon: Why did we stop?

Baringster (a yellow creature): Well, nothing happens if no one's reading the book.

The Talking Car: And it was just getting exciting.

The Boy: Well, I didn't want to go anyway.

(Cut back to the library, where Buster has stopped reading and is looking out the window. Arthur and Francine look through a bookshelf. Francine is holding a pair of binoculars.)

Francine: He stopped reading.

Arthur: (shakes his head in disbelief) How can my best friend not like reading?

(Transition to the Sugar Bowl where Arthur, Buster, Francine and Brain are hanging out eating ice cream dishes.)

Arthur: (to Buster) You're missing all the great stuff by not reading.

Buster: So I'm not a reader. I'll just become rich and pay the Brain to do that simple stuff for me.

Brain: (reproachfully) I think I might be too busy discovering new planets to read to you, Buster!

(Arthur hands out a tiny book titled "Blue" to Buster.)

Arthur: Here's a book anyone can finish.

Buster: (points out to another book) What's that other book?

Arthur: ''(picks it up and hands it to Buster) "Robin Hood." ''If you really work at it, someday you can read a book like this.

Buster: (as he looks inside it) Cool!

(Fade to the evening, where Buster is in his pajamas and sitting on his bed. He takes out the "Blue" book out of his backpack and tries reading it.)

Buster: "The sky is blue. The ocean is blue."

(Buster drops the book and moans as he covers his eyes and lies on his bed.)

Buster: I can't do it!

(Buster sits back up and a thought comes to him.)

Buster: Wait a minute.

(Fade to the next morning where Buster and Arthur walk up to each other.)

Arthur: So, you finished it?

Buster: Not really.

Arthur: BUSTER, YOU'RE GONNA FLUNK!

Buster: (pulls out the "Robin Hood" book) I couldn't finish because I was too tired from reading this. I'm almost done. It was so exciting I couldn't stop.

Arthur: You read that much of "Robin Hood"? Hey, you can't be a faster reader than I am. You never read!

Buster: I guess the problem was, I just wasn't reading anything what I really liked. I mean, "Blue"? Come on!

(Fade to class where Buster hands in his book report on "Robin Hood" to Mr. Ratburn.)

Buster: Is it okay that my report has a cliffhanger ending?

Mr. Ratburn: (takes the report and puts it on his desk) Next time, start reading when you're supposed to and you'll be able to finish the book.

Buster: So, I don't flunk?

Mr. Ratburn: (laughs) No.

(Buster smiles. Fade to after school where Arthur and Buster are walking down the sidewalk.)

Buster: I can't wait to read the next chapter of "Robin Hood".

Arthur: Me neither. Let's do it now!

(The two run back home. Fade to the Tree House where Arthur and Buster are lying on their stomachs and reading "Robin Hood".)

Arthur: Oh, wow, this is great! You done with this page yet?

Buster: Almost. Hold it. Okay, turn.

(Arthur turns the page.)

Buster: This is the best book I ever read.

Arthur: I thought it was the first.

Buster: That too.