Team Trouble/Transcript

Introduction
Arthur, Francine and Buster play a board game in the treehouse.

Arthur: I'm lucky. I have great friends. The day I met Buster was the most unforgettable moment in my life.

''Flashback: An about three-year-old Arthur sits in a sandbox. Buster approaches.''

Young Buster: Hi. I'm Buster.

Young Arthur: My name's Arthur.

Young Buster: Hi. Well, see ya.

''He walks away. Arthur pours sand over himself.''

''Flashback: The kids play tag football. George tries to tackle Francine and falls.''

Arthur: And being on Francine's team is the best.

Binky blocks Francine's way.

Francine: [gasps]

Binky: [growls]

''Francine looks around. Brain and Sue Ellen raise their hands, but she passes to Arthur who is standing near the sideline and barely paying attention.''

Francine: Arthur!

''Francine’s ball hits Arthur in his tummy. He stumbles backwards into the end zone.''

Arthur: [grunts]

Kids: [cheer]

Arthur looks surprised.

Arthur: Because when you're on Francine's team, you never lose.

Binky: Aww...

Arthur: Yahoo!

''The flashbacks end. Arthur smiles, lost in memories.''

Francine: Arthur, you lose.

Title Card: Francine Bangs Gong
After showing a slide of Horus, Mr. Ratburn shows a slide of the Great Wall of China.

Mr. Ratburn: The Great Wall of China is 1500 miles long. It was built over 2000 years ago and still stands today.

Arthur: Wow.

Buster: (whispers:) That’s even older than the cafeteria hot dogs.

Mr. Ratburn: Ahem! He shows the next slide. The Appian Way was the chief highway from Rome to Greece. It was built in 312 B.C. It’s still in use today. He switches the lights back on. We’re going to divide into teams to study and report on important ancient civilizations. The team to report on Rome: Arthur, Francine and Buster.

Arthur and Buster high-five, then Francine and Buster.

Arthur: Great team!

Francine: Oh, boy!

Buster: Great!

***

During lunch, Arthur, Buster and Francine share a table in the cafeteria.

Arthur: How should we do our report?

Buster: What do you mean? We write it, then read it to the class.

Francine: No, no. We want to be the best in the class, right? Then, we shouldn’t read it to the class. I should read it to the class.

Arthur and Buster exchange looks.

Arthur: Maybe there’s a more interesting way to do it.

Francine glares at Arthur.

Arthur: I-I mean, more creative!

***

In Music class, Buster plays his tuba.

Buster: Guys, guys! What if we wrote a song? (sings off-key:) “Ancient Rome!” Plays two notes. “It’s not like home!” Plays two notes. “Colosseum!” Plays three notes.

Francine facepalms, Arthur shakes his head.

***

Arthur, Buster and Francine walks past a dancing studio where several girls are practicing ballet.

Buster: We could do it as an interpretive dance.

Francine: With those feet?

Buster looks peeved.

***

In a video store, Arthur, Buster and Francine look at a cutout of Bigfoot while a movie runs on a TV behind them.

Woman (on TV): (screams)

Francine: Let’s make a video!

Arthur: How are we gonna make it look ancient?

Buster: I have a really old coat.

''The others look disapprovingly. Buster shrugs.''

***

Later, Arthur, Buster and Francine are at the library.

Arthur: Think. We need to show what Rome was like. And be interesting, too.

Buster: Ooh, I’ve been waiting for this book to be in.

''Buster takes a book out of a shelf. Francine reads the title.''

Francine: “How to Write and Draw Comic Books.”

Arthur: That’s it! Buster, you’re a genius.

He slaps Buster’s back hard.

Buster: [screams]

Francine: What are you talking about?

Arthur: We can do a comic book about Rome.

Buster: Yeah. Boy, my ideas are good.

***

Arthur, Buster and Francine sit on the library’s front steps and look into the book.

Francine: Arthur, you do the first page, I’ll do the second, and Buster, you do the third.

Buster: It’s gonna be the best history project anyone ever did.

Arthur: What are we waiting for? Let’s go home and do it.

''“A”s appear above Arthur, Buster and Francine’s heads. A plus flickers next to Francine’s “A”.''

***

That evening, Francine draws on the Frenskys’ dining table while listening to music over headphones.

Francine: Yes! Brilliant! Oh, beauty.

***

''Meanwhile, Buster draws lines on a sheet of paper on his desk. He erases them, draws new ones, and then throws the sheet into the waste basket, which is already full of paper.''

***

''Arthur lies on his bed with a pencil and notebook. Pal lies beside him.''

Arthur: I don’t know where to start. What’s the most exciting thing about Ancient Rome?

Pal: (barks)

''He lies back on his pillow. An alarm clock falls off a shelf on his head. He has a fantasy in which he falls in front of a spiral.''

Arthur: [screams] Oof.

''He lands on the street of an ancient Roman city. Nearby, a man is carving “Speed Limit XX” into a stone.''

Roman: Bellissimo!

Arthur: Excuse me, mister. Where am I?

Roman: Hey, what-a you mean? You’re-a in Rome, boss.

Arthur: I am? He looks around. I must’ve travelled through time!

Roman: I can-a show all of the biggest secrets of Rome! Five Denarii.

Arthur checks his pant pocket.

Arthur: (gasps) And I’ve got Roman money!

''Roman senators are sitting in the Senate Building. The Roman guide opens the door.''

Roman: Right-a through this door is the Senate. Come on. Be quiet.

Arthur: I’ve gone back thousands of years to a strange country and don’t know how I’ll get home! But, if I ever do get home, I’ll have the best report in third grade history! The Earth starts shaking. Whoa! Oof!

The head breaks off a statue and falls on Arthur’s head.

Arthur falls in front of the spiral again.

Arthur: Whoa!

''The fantasy ends. Arthur is woken by his alarm clock ringing. He rubs his head.''

Arthur: Ah. I’m back. But now I know exactly what to draw!

He starts drawing.

***

Arthur and Francine arrive outside school on their bikes.

Arthur: I stayed up extra late finishing my page.

Francine: Me, too.

''They hand each other their pages. Francine reads Arthur’s comic, which becomes animated. Three senators, looking like Arthur, Buster and Francine, stand outside the colosseum. Arthur’s voice narrates.''

Narrator: The Roman Senators were worried. Then, the emperor arrived. He said...

The Emperor, looking like Mr. Ratburn, arrives.

Emperor Ratburn: The scroll of Roman Law is lost! If we don’t find it, I can’t run the Empire!

The three senators go to the port.

Narrator: The senators searched everywhere for the scroll. Suddenly...

A Binky-like character pops out of a rolled up rope holding a scroll and a sword.

Villain Binky: Looking for this, are you?

Senator Arthur: Yes, thanks.

Villain Binky: Well, you can’t have it. Hahahaha! I’m gonna run this empire. Get ’em, boys!

He jumps on a boat and rides away while two skeletons with sword and helmets run at the senators.

Senators: (gasp)

Narrator: Thinking quickly, the bravest senator took out his bag of gumballs!

''Senator Arthur rolls the balls over the floor and the skeletons slip. On of them fall on the floor with its skull stuck in its ribcage. The other skeleton tries to pull the head free.''

Skeleton 1: Ah! Get me outta here.

Skeleton 2: [strains]

''Three dogs look at them and lick their lips. A thought bubble with a bone appears over them.''

Skeleton 2:[screams]

''He gets the head free and runs off with it. The headless skeleton follows and the dogs run after both of them.''

Skeleton 1: Help!

Francine is reading the comic.

Narrator: The skeletons defeated, they chase the villain in a boat.

Back in the comic, the senators jump on a Roman boat.

Senator Buster: Wait for me!

Senator Francine: Wait up! Wait up!

Senator Arthur: Let’s go! Let’s go!

They pursue Binky’s boat when a huge cyclops comes out of the sea.

Cyclops: (roars)

Villain Binky: You are doomed! (laughs)

The cyclops holds the senators’ boat in his hand.

Senators: [squeals]

Senator Buster: There’s no escape.

''The fantasy ends. Francine has reached the end of the page.''

Francine: That’s how it ends?

Arthur: That’s just the first page. You did the second.

Francine: Arthur, my page is about the Olympics.

''Arthur reads Francine’s comic. In it, three athletes, looking like Arthur, Buster and Francine, stand in a stadium. Francine throws a discus and a javelin, then she picks up Arthur.''

Athlete Arthur: I quit, I quit! I give up. Uncle, Uncle, Uncle! Ohh.

Francine throws Arthur, then picks up Buster.

Athlete Buster: Ahhhh!

''Arthur is leading in a chariot race, when the flying Buster knocks him off the chariot. Francine overtakes them.''

Athlete Arthur: Oof!

''Francine stands on the winner’s podium with a medal. Arthur and Buster sit on the ground and cry''

The fantasy ends.

Arthur: Hmm.

Buster joins them with his page.

Buster: I’m done, guys! Here’s my page.

Francine: That isn’t a comic page. That’s just a drawing.

Buster: That’s called a splash panel. It’s full of action, look. That’s Spartacus. He’s defending all the pizza from the attacking soldiers who are hidden in the horse. They wanna take over the pyramids. That’s Julius Caesar on a glider. There were no jet engines then. Hey, your pages aren’t like mine!

***

''Mr. Ratburn addresses the class. There is a model of a Roman pillar on his desk.''

Mr. Ratburn: Remember, your history projects are due tomorrow. The bell rings and the students run out. I have great expectations!

Arthur, Buster and Francine stand outside the classroom with their comic pages.

Francine: Oh, this is a total disaster! You guys have to redo your pages to be like mine!

Arthur: Yours rots! You should make yours like mine. Mine is the first page!

Buster: Why not ask other people which is best, then you can both make yours like mine.

Francine: I will, then you'll be sorry!

She walks away.

Buster: No, you’ll be sorry!

Francine: No, you’ll be sorry!

***

''Arthur and Prunella sit in the Sugar Bowl. Prunella reads Arthur’s comic.''

Prunella: What's this got to do with history?

Arthur: I’m trying to make history interesting.

Prunella: But you didn't use any real history at all.

Arthur: Maybe not very much... None.

***

''The kids play baseball. Buster is pitching while Francine is up to bat and Brain is the catcher. Brain reads Francine’s comic.''

Francine: I know you’re just gonna say it's great. I just need to know how great.

Brain: Francine, the Olympics were in Greece, not Rome.

Buster pitches.

Umpire: Strike one!

Francine: I'll just change it to Roman athletes at the Greek Olympics.

Brain: It wouldn’t have happened. The Romans banned the Olympics in 194 BC. The second ball flies past Francine. Didn't you do any research?

''Francine stares at him. The third ball hits her bat.''

Francine’s Team: (cheer)

Francine starts running while Brain dives for the ball.

***

Francine sits in the Frenskys’ living room and phones Arthur.

Francine: Arthur, we all have to meet right away.

***

Arthur phones Buster.

Arthur: Buster, meeting at the tree house right now!

***

Arthur, Buster and Francine sit in the treehouse.

Francine: I should have done some research.

Arthur: Yeah, I guess a history project needs some history in it.

Buster: Well, Binky really liked my page, so I guess I have to start all over.

Arthur: We all have to start over. But there's no time. Ratburn’s gonna fail us.

An “F” appears over Arthur’s head, several “F”s flicker around Buster, and an “F+” appears above Francine.

Francine: It’s too bad, because you drew the Roman Forum very well!

Arthur: You think so?

Buster: Your colosseum and chariot race are cool.

Francine: So is this Julius Caesar, even though he's flying!

Arthur: I bet our project could have been great if we'd done it together.

Francine: There is a lot of good stuff here. Maybe we don’t have to start over!

***

Arthur, Buster and Francine ride their bikes to the library.

There, they get books on ancient Rome.

***

Arthur, Buster and Francine work at Arthur’s desk.

Arthur: "In 44 BC, he was stabbed in the Roman Senate, and that was the end of Julius Caesar.”

Buster: (yawns)

***

''The next day, Arthur, Buster and Francine present their report in class. Buster holds a poster the three did together.''

Arthur: Roman Emperor, General and historian. Like us!

Francine: The end!

The class applauds.

Mr. Ratburn: Very good! Who thought of drawing a poster together?

Francine: We all did.

Arthur: But not right away! It took a while for us to figure it out.

Mr. Ratburn: A good team effort. Although I’m not sure they had pizza delivered to the senate.

Arthur, Buster and Francine sit down at their table.

Francine: Next time, we'll decide what we’ll do before we do it.

Buster: What time are we meeting at the Sugar Bowl?

Arthur: I thought we were going to the park.

Francine: No, we’re going to the movies.

Arthur: Who agreed to that?

Mr. Ratburn: Quiet, please. The next team is about to report.

''The next team are Muffy, Sue Ellen and Binky. The girls wear Egyptian costumes, while Binky is partly wrapped like a mummy.''

Binky: We’ve chosen to do our report on Egypt as an interpretive dance.

Muffy starts playing the violin and Sue Ellen dances around Binky while wrapping him in more cloth.

Binky: Mummies were dead Egyptians who died and got embalmed and tightly wrapped in cloth after they died.

Buster: We agreed to go to the Sugar Bowl.

Sue Ellen has wrapped Binky in so much cloth that he cannot see or stand properly.

Binky: (mumbles)

He falls over.

Francine: I don't care what you two do. I’ll be at the movies.