Buster's Special Delivery/Transcript

Introduction
''On an ice rink a skater performs a difficult jump. Arthur is standing by the side boards.''

Arthur: Have you ever noticed how people who are really good at something make it look so easy? I even have trouble skating backwards. He tries and falls down.   Agh!

Skater: A few more hours of practice and you'll get it. He helps Arthur up.

Arthur: It's very important not to give up on something you love to do. The Wright Flyer is shown.  Take the Wright brothers for example. They've failed many times before they succeeded... One engine explodes.

Orville Wright: Huh?

Arthur: …but they kept trying…    The flyer goes over a bank and crashes down.

Orville Wright: Ooah! ''The Wrights start the flyer on a wooden ramp. It crashes.''

Wilbur Wright: Hh!

Arthur: …and they kept crashing. ''The Wrights try again. This time the Flyer takes off. ''It wasn't easy making the first successful airplane flight ever.

''The flashback ends. Arthur is slowly skating backwards.''

Arthur: Whoops! Sometimes it takes a lot of work before you can make it look easy.

D.W.: I wouldn't say you made it look easy. ''She skates elegantly around him. He falls down.''

Arthur: Whoa! Ouch.

D.W.: (laughs)

Arthur: Stop showing off, D.W.!

Title Card: Space Ship
Mr. Haney walks into Mr. Ratburn’s class.

Mr. Haney: May I have everyone's attention please? ''Buster closes his desk. A ball falls out of it and rolls past Mr. Haney.''    There's a new volunteer job available to a qualified third grader.

Buster: to Arthur: Does "volunteer" mean you don't get paid?

Mr. Haney: Miss Tingley will no longer be delivering the faculty mail. We would like to have a student take over this responsibility. It will be a rotating job so that everyone who's interested has a chance to try it.

Buster: But who would want to do that?

Mr. Haney: Unfortunately the job will require missing ten minutes of homeroom every morning. Now who would like to be our first student mail carrier?

Buster: Me! Choose me, I love mail. All kids hold up a hand.

#

Mr. Haney interviews Muffy.

Mr. Haney: What skills do you possess that would make you qualified to be our first student mail carrier?

Muffy: As you can see from my resume and my references, I have extensive experience opening mail. I subscribe to ten magazines and at least fifty catalogs.

Mr. Haney interviews George.

Mr. Haney: What are the three adjectives that describe the real you?

George: Uh…  quiet, shy, afraid of beetles.

Mr. Haney interviews Arthur.

Mr. Haney: Why would you be interested in being the first student mail carrier?

Arthur: I'm organized and punctual and I think I could do a pretty good job.

Mr. Haney: Hm. You think you could? He stamps “rejected” on Arthur’s folder.

Mr. Haney interviews Buster.

Buster: Let me talk to you about mail, Mr. Haney, mail and me, me and mail. You know what the most important day of my life was?

Mr. Haney: No, but….

Buster: The day that I got my very first letter. Actually it was a coupon for a manicure and I didn't really know what that was, but I was so touched.

Mr. Haney: (chuckles)  I never knew how strongly you felt about mail, Buster, so I'm making you the first official student mail carrier.

Buster: Thanks Mr. Haney.

Mr. Haney: This is a wonderful opportunity to take on some responsibility. ''He takes some papers out of his desk. Buster runs out of the rooms.''    Buster?

#

That afternoon Buster and Miss Tingley stand at the school’s mail desk.

Ms. Tingley: I've broken this job down into three easy steps.

Buster: So, Mr. Haney really meant what he said about missing ten minutes of homeroom?

Ms. Tingley: Yes. Now the three steps are: stacking it, alphabetizing it, and then delivering it to the right faculty mailbox. Buster takes a hat of a hook.

Buster: And this hat is really mine?

Ms. Tingley: If you forget one of the steps, just think SAD, short for stacking, alphabetizing and delivering. ''Buster puts on the hat. The bell rings.''

#

''On his way home Buster meets Mr. Higgins the mailman. ''

Buster: Hi, Mr. Higgins.

Mr. Higgins: Hi, Buster. What's that you're wearing on your head?

Buster: It's a student mail carrier’s cap. It's my new job at school.

Mr. Higgins: Congratulations. That's quite an honor. He puts letters in mailboxes.

Buster: Wow. You did that really fast.

Mr. Higgins: I make it look easy, but it takes hard work and dedication. Buster follows Mr. Higgins.

Buster: It seemed pretty easy when Miss Tingley was showing me this afternoon.

Mr. Higgins: Are you aware of the huge responsibility that comes with being a mail carrier?

Buster: Kind of. I know it comes with a hat.

Mr. Higgins: Can I impart some words of wisdom to you, one mail carrier to another?

Buster: Sure.

Mr. Higgins: This is the creed we all live by. He holds his cap in front of his heart.  “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

Buster: What does that mean?

Mr. Higgins: It means that nothing stops us from delivering the mail. He walks on.

Buster: Snow, heat, gloom?

He has a fantasy in which he is a mailman delivering mail.

Buster: Whew, sure is hot thank Goodness this street is done. On to the next one. ''A dog on a chain barks at him. Buster walks past boarded up buildings. It starts pouring rain.''   Oh, what's a little rain and gloom? The rain changes to snow.   I've got mail to deliver. The street is covered with snow and he has to strain against the wind.  N-need to d-deliver mail. Oh! ''His cart falls over. Some letters blow away. ''   Nooo!

The fantasy ends.

#

''Buster sits at a table at school looking at letters. He picks up one of them.''

Mr. Haney: Buster, it's about time for you to return to homeroom.

Buster: But I can't go back until the job is done.

Mr. Haney: I appreciate your commitment, but you need to pick up the pace a little. He leaves.

Buster: Right, okay, I've got to work faster. Just be swift. He quickly puts letters in pigeonholes.

#
 * [cut to the living room]
 * Bitzi: Hmm. Nothing but junk mail today. How was your first day on the job?
 * Buster: Oh, it was rough. I had barely enough time to get it all done.
 * Bitzi: The first day of a job is always hard, but I'm sure you did great.
 * [cut outside]
 * Ratburn: Where is the bus for our field trip? I sent you the form confirming my request yesterday.
 * Ms. Tingley: I didn't receive the form, so I didn't confirm the bus.
 * Ratburn: [sighs] Class, the field trip to the zoo is cancelled. Everyone back inside for an impromptu spelling bee.
 * [the students groan]
 * Coach: [blows whistle] Well, we were going to have a dodge ball tournament today, but my gym ball order never made it to the outgoing mailbox.
 * [they all groan]
 * Coach: So give me ten laps, and then we'll work on our push-ups.
 * Buster: What have I done?
 * [the coach blows a whistle, then ringing a bell]
 * Buster: Prune cups? But the menu said watermelon slices today.
 * [cut to the cafeteria]
 * Mrs. MacGrady: Well, somehow, my order for watermelons got lost in the mail.
 * [riding a bike to Mr. Higgins]
 * Mr. Higgins: Hi, there Buster. How's the new job going?
 * Buster: Eh, not so well. There's so much mail and so little time. I don't know how you do it.
 * Mr. Higgins: I wasn't always a great mail carrier, Buster, but I had a great teacher. He taught me everything I know.
 * Man: There's one thing you must remember when you're in charge of the mail, son: approach it one letter at a time.
 * Mr. Higgins: Wow. One letter at a time.
 * Man: Say it to yourself as your sort, as you deliver: "letter by letter."
 * [cut back to Buster]
 * Buster: Letter by letter, that's it!
 * Mr. Higgins: And then employ the four cardinal rules of efficient mail delivery: gather, look at each letter, alphabetize and deliver: G-L-A-D, GLAD.
 * Buster: I thought it was SAD.
 * Mr. Higgins: No, no, Buster. As my mentor always said, when you do it right, you'll be glad.
 * Buster: Thanks, Mr. Higgins.
 * Mr. Higgins: I think you might have just what it takes, kid.
 * [Buster puts the hat back on]
 * Bitzi: [bringing a plate] I made your favorite: banana walnut pancakes.
 * Buster: I don't have time for breakfast; I'm late for work.
 * Bitzi: But it's only 7:30.
 * Buster: I'm late! I'll pick something at the office. [putting mail letters on the table] Letter by letter. [writes two checkmarks] "Haney" comes before "Ratburn." "Tingley" is after "MacGrady." [writes another checkmark]
 * Ratburn: Buster, yesterday there seemed to be a mix-up with the mail.
 * Buster: There won't be any more mix-ups. I have a system. [grabs an envelope] There's a faculty meeting this afternoon, and Ms. Tingley is organizing a softball game and wants to know if you'd like to join.
 * Ratburn: Your job is to deliver mail, not read it.
 * Buster: [writes the last checkmark] Don't I know it. I didn't know you were a softball player.
 * [cut to the cafeteria with Arthur slurping milk, then yawning]
 * Arthur: Tired?
 * Buster: Well, of course I'm tired. Do you know what kind of stress I'm under at work?
 * Francine: Work?
 * Buster: Everyday there's mail, a lot of mail, a lot of mail, and someone has to deliver it.
 * Muffy: But you've doing it for two days.
 * Buster: Two days is like two years for a mail carrier.
 * Arthur: The watermelon slices are back.
 * Buster: Thanks to my foolproof delivery system. Oh, excuse me. I have some confidential mail business. Did you get your letter, Ms. Tingley?
 * Ms. Tingley: I haven't shut my mail yet, Buster.
 * Buster: You have a letter from France. And I wanted to remind you to use correct postage when you write back. Otherwise, it'll be "Return to sender," and we don't want that, do we?
 * Ms. Tingley: No, we don't.
 * [cut to Buster going to the mail room, then throwing in the trash]
 * Buster: Mr. Haney, you threw this out.
 * Mr. Haney: Don't worry, Buster, it'll be recycled.
 * Buster: But it's the cafeteria menu for the next week. [gives the paper to Mr. Haney] No need to thank me. I'm just doing my job.
 * Arthur: You want to come over after school today and watch a Bionic Bunny marathon?
 * Buster: Uh, I remember the days when I had time to do fun things like watch TV.
 * Arthur: [closing the locker door] Why can't you do fun things anymore?
 * Buster: I've got two words for you: the mail. And neither rain, nor heat, nor snow, nor...
 * Arthur: Okay, okay. But it's a job that's supposed to take up only ten minutes of your day.
 * Buster: But you have no idea what I have to do to prepare for those ten minutes. [closing the locker door]
 * Bitzi: Oh, I thought we'd have Chinese food for dinner.
 * Buster: I'm too tired to eat.
 * Bitzi: You've never been too tired for vegetable dumplings before.
 * Buster: [takes the mask off] It's this job, Mom. I love it, but it really takes it out of me.
 * Bitzi: Honey, I know what it's like to think about work all the time, but you really have to learn to relax.
 * Buster: All right, all right, one dumpling. Maybe two. [eating in the mouth]
 * [cut to the classroom]
 * Mr. Haney: I think we're all aware of what a thorough job Buster has done while serving as our first student mail carrier.
 * Buster: I just want you all to know neither snow nor rain nor...
 * [the class groan]
 * Buster: Buster, not again.
 * Mr. Haney: Yes, yes, you're enthusiasm for mail has no bounds. You've really gone above and beyond the call of duty in the job. However, you will recall that is a rotating position.
 * Buster: Well, what do you mean?
 * Mr. Haney: It means that now it's time for somebody else to do the job.
 * Buster: Are you firing me, Mr. Haney? After I gave you the best week of my life?
 * Mr. Haney: I am not firing you. I just want everyone to experience huge responsibility of delivering the mail.
 * Buster: Nobody knows what it takes until they've done it.
 * Mr. Haney: Exactly my point. That's why I've put you in charge of training the next student mail carrier.
 * [cut to the mail room]
 * Buster: The key to delivering mail is to do it letter by letter.
 * Arthur: I really get to wear this hat?
 * Buster: Yes. Now, the four steps to delivering mail are GLAD: Gather it, Look at each letter, Alphabetize it...
 * Arthur: [grabbing a cap] I really get to take this hat home with me?
 * Buster: You're not listening to me. It's not about the hat. It's about delivering the mail.
 * Arthur: There should be uniform that comes with this hat.
 * [last lines]
 * Buster: Delivering the mail is a big responsibility, you know. There's a creed that we all live by: Neither snow nor... Aw...