Citizen Cheikh/Transcript

''Arthur sits on the couch and plays a ‘Curse of the Moomies’ video game. The screen shows a sphinx with a cow’s head.''

Arthur: Ooh, I've never been on this level before! Hm, I wonder what's in this urn?

His character throws an ankh at the urn and golden scarabs come out.

Arthur: No way! 500 golden scarabs! Jackpot!

He addresses the audience.

Arthur: Don't you just love surprises? Surprises are the best! Well... most of the time.

Flashback: Buster sits in a dentist chair.

Buster: What?! I have how many cavities? Aw, man.

Flashback: Brain conducts a chemical experiment in his room.

Brain: If all goes according to plan, this should be the best-tasting lemonade ever!

''The mix splashes all over his face. He tries some with his finger.''

Brain: Or not.

''The flashback ends. Arthur’s character is throwing ankhs at a door.''

Arthur: That's why they’re surprises. 'Cause you never see them coming. They just pop out of the blue, and...

D.W. pops out from behind the couch.

D.W.: Boo!

Arthur: Augh!! D.W.!

D.W.: What? I was just letting you know dinner is ready.

Arthur: (groans)

D.W.: (chuckles)

Arthur: Not the kind of surprise I wanted.

On the TV screen, the door opens.

Arthur: I did it! I opened the tomb to king Moosiris!

On the screen, a horde of mummies looking like D.W. come walking towards him.

Mummies: Dinner!

Arthur: Augh!!

He runs away.

Title Card: Cheikh and D.W. play drums

''D.W. and Bud sit together in the back of the preschool playground with their lunchboxes. Cheikh joins them.''

Bud: What you got?

D.W.: Cheese sticks, apple, box of raisins. You?

Bud: Sweet pickles, sour pickles, in-between pickles.

D.W.: Hey, Cheikh. Wanna trade something for one of those crispy, delicious pies from Senegal?

Cheikh: You mean fatayas?

D.W.: Yeah, yeah, that!

Cheikh: Sorry, my mom only packed me one today.

Bud: Doesn't she usually give you three?

Cheikh: Yeah, but she and my dad have been busy studying for some big test and she forgot.

D.W.: I get it. Once when Arthur was studying for a test, he put his sneakers in the refrigerator.

She sticks a straw in her juice box and it squirts on her.

Arr! When will someone invent a juice box that doesn't squirt?!

Later in Cheikh’s bedroom, Cheikh plays with an action figure looking like a Senegalese wrestler.

Cheikh: And then the leaping lion leaps! Rawrrr!

The wrestler “jumps” on a plastic dinosaur.

Cheikh: And pins Dino Man! Leaping Lion is the champ!

D.W. watches from Cheikh’s bed with a bored expression.

D.W.: Again? How many times can he be champ?

Cheikh: A million billion if he wanted to. The Leaping Lion is the best wrestler in all of Senegal. Maybe all of Africa.

He looks at a poster of the Leaping Lion on the wall.

D.W.: Heh, you sound like Binky. He loves wrestling. Can we play your djembe drums?

Cheikh: Okay!

''They sit down with two drums and start playing. Cheikh is good at it while D.W. is clearly a beginner. Cheikh’s mom comes in.''

Mrs. Diouf: Sorry, you two. Can you please play a little more quietly? We're trying to study.

Cheikh: Okay, Yaay.

The mother leaves.

D.W.: "Yaay?"

Cheikh: That's what I call my mom, Yaay. Okay, ready? We'll play as quietly as we can.

They lightly tap the drums.

D.W.: It's not as fun when you can't even hear them.

Cheikh: I know. I hope this test is over soon.

''Cheikh sits at the counter of the Powers’ ice-cream shop and has a milk shake. His parents come in.''

Mr. Diouf: Cheikh, we have a wonderful surprise.

Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I passed our citizenship test and interview.

Mr. Diouf: It's been a long process.

Mrs. Diouf: But now we're all going to be American citizens.

Cheikh: We are?

Mrs. Diouf: Yes, we'll be sworn in at the naturalization ceremony soon.

Cheikh: We will?

Brain: Congratulations, Cheikh! That's great news.

Cheikh: It is?

Brain: Ice-cream sundaes all around!

''Mrs. Powers gives a sundae to Mrs. Diouf who gives it to Cheikh. Cheikh smiles.''

 

''The next day, Cheikh sits in art class at preschool and looks worried. Behind him, D.W. draws a boat and Bud draws a dinosaur.''

Cheikh: American citizen, what does that mean? Do I have to give up all my things from Senegal?

Bud: Beats me.

Cheikh: What about my djembe drums? Will I have to give up those?

D.W.: I hope not. I love those drums!

Bud: What about fatayas? They go so well with my pickles.

D.W.: I love fatayas even more than your drums! Maybe there's a special rule that lets you keep those?

Cheikh: Are you American citizens?

D.W.: Of course. Uh, I think so.

That afternoon, D.W. talks to Arthur and Buster in the living room who are just unpacking a model kit for the Grain Reaper.

Arthur: Yes, we're American citizens.

D.W.: But I didn't take any test. Did you? And are you sure you passed?

Arthur: If you're born in the United States, you're automatically an American citizen.

Buster: You don't have to pass a test.

D.W.: What do you get if you're an American citizen?

Arthur: You get to vote when you're 18.

D.W.: Hm...

''D.W. imagines stepping into a voting booth as an adult. There are posters saying “Vote for D.W.” on the walls. D.W. comes out again while Hail to the Chief plays.''

Adult D.W.: Woo-hoo! D.W. for president!

The fantasy ends.

D.W.: I like that!

Buster: You also get to eat stars and stripes stew.

Arthur: What's that?

Buster: You've never had stars and stripes stew? Ha, my mom and I eat it every Fourth of July! Doesn't everyone?

D.W.: What's in it?

Buster: Tomatoes, mashed potatoes and blueberries. To me, it's what America tastes like.

Arthur: Ugh!

Buster: Hey, don't knock it till you try it!

D.W.: Hm...

''Later, D.W. puts a tomato into a bowl with blueberries in the kitchen and mashes it. The doorbell rings. D.W. opens and finds Bud with a Tupperware pot.''

D.W.: Did you bring the mashed potatoes?

Bud: Uh-huh.

''The next day, Bud, D.W. and Cheikh sit at a table in preschool. D.W. opens the Tupperware pot which contains mashed potatoes with mashed tomatoes and blueberries in it.''

Cheikh: What is it?

D.W.: Stars and stripes stew. Buster said it's what America tastes like.

Cheikh: Have you tried it?

D.W.: Not yet. Bud, you go first.

Bud: Why me?

D.W.: Because they're your mashed potatoes.

Bud: Well, they're your tomatoes and blueberries.

Cheikh: Let's try it all at the same time.

They each take a spoonful of stew.

Bud: Hm… America tastes sweet, tart... and gloopy. It's actually better than I thought.

He takes another spoonful.

D.W.: Blech! Yuck! I'll take fatayas over that any day.

Cheikh: I don't really like it either.

Bud: Yeah, the second bite wasn't as good. Do you think if we don't like it, we're bad citizens?

D.W.: Probably.

''On the park playground, Arthur and Buster toss a football to each other. Cheikh and D.W. ride the swings while Bud watches. Binky comes by on a skateboard. His board, helmet and kneepads are painted like the American flag.''

Binky: Hey, Cheikh! Arthur said you're becoming a U.S. citizen.

Cheikh: Yes, pretty soon.

Binky takes a Slam Wilson bobblehead out of his backpack.

Binky: Welcome to the Uncle Slam Fan club. He's the best wrestler in the whole universe.

Cheikh: Uh, well...

Binky takes out a fan T-shirt.

Binky: You can have this. It's too small on me.

Cheikh: Uh, thanks, Binky.

D.W. and Bud exchange looks.

Binky: Uncle Slam all the way! Woo!

''He rides off. Cheikh looks unhappy.''

Cheikh: But… what about the Leaping Lion?

Bud: Maybe you can root for two wrestlers at the same time.

Cheikh: Not really. I guess I'll have to switch to Uncle Slam.

Bud: Do all American citizens have to root for Uncle Slam?

D.W.: I don't even like wrestling.

That evening, Cheikh’s mother tucks him in bed.

Mrs. Diouf: Tomorrow is the big day. We're going to the naturalization ceremony to be sworn in.

Cheikh: So that's it. Tomorrow I'll be an American citizen.

She kisses him.

Mrs. Diouf: isn't it wonderful? 'Night, Cheikh. Love you.

She turns off the light and leaves.

Cheikh: 'Night, Yaay. I mean Mom.

''Cheikh falls asleep. He dreams that he is walking through preschool. Suddenly, fatayas shoot out of his pockets.''

Kids: Hh!

Bud: Cheikh, aren't those fatayas?

Cheikh: Kinda.

Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!

His shirt flies off and he is wearing a dashiki underneath.

Cheikh: Huh?

D.W.: Your dashiki is showing.

Cheikh: Oh no!

Kids: Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk!

''A Leaping Lion figure appears in Cheikh’s hand. ''

Cheikh: Oh!

Uncle Slam is sitting on a stool reading the newspaper.

Uncle Slam: Is that the Leaping Lion? I-I thought you were joining my fan club! (sobs)

Cheikh runs over to him.

Cheikh: I was going to! I promise!

Uncle Slam: (cries) Cheikh thinks Uncle Slam isn't worthy.

Cheikh: You are. Don't cry.

Uncle Slam: (cries)

He runs out of the room.

The dream ends.

Cheikh: Hh!

''Cheikh takes a Senegalese flag off the wall. He rolls up an African rug and takes off the Leaping Lion poster.''

Cheikh: I'm really sorry, Leaping Lion. I have to replace you.

''He rolls up the poster. Then he puts his dashikis in a drawer under the bed and puts the djembe drums in the closet. He looks unhappy.''

 

The next day, Cheikh looks at Uncle Slam action figures in the toy store as Brain walk by.

Mrs. Diouf: Are you sure that's the one you want?

Cheikh: (sighs) Yeah.

Brain: Hey, Cheikh, there's some new Leaping Lion action figures over here.

Cheikh: Hh!

''He suddenly cheers up. Brian holds a case with a Leaping Lion figure wearing a tracksuit. Cheikh takes it and looks at the Leaping Lion and Uncle Slam. Then he drops both.''

Cheikh: Why do I have to be an American citizen?

Mrs. Diouf: Cheikh.

Cheikh: I'm not old enough to vote, I don't like stars and stripes stew, and I'm not a fan of Uncle Slam.

Brain: What's stars and stripes stew?

Cheikh: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Mrs. Diouf: Why do you think you have to like those things?

Cheikh: Because I'm going to be an American citizen, so I have to give up my favorite things from Senegal and just like American things.

Mrs. Diouf: No, you don't.

Cheikh: Really?

Brain: America is made up of all different cultures. It's like these Autobionica toys.

Cheikh: Huh?

''Brain goes to a stand and picks up a truck and two cars. He sticks them together to make a robot.''

Brain: See? They're all completely unique cars, but you can fit them together. They're still different, right? But they also make one cool robot.

Cheikh looks delighted.

Mrs. Diouf: Your father and I want to become citizens because it will give us, and you, more opportunities, but we still love being from Senegal.

Cheikh: You'll still make fatayas? And I can still call you Yaay?

Mrs. Diouf: (chuckles) Of course, my love!

''They hug. Cheikh points to the robot.''

Cheikh: Can I have this instead?

''In the Elwood City Town Hall. An officer swears in a group of new citizens, which includes the Dioufs who are all wearing traditional Senegalese clothes. The Powers, Mrs. Compson, Gussie and Madison sit in the audience.''

Officer: Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.

Shortly afterwards.

New Citizens: …that I will support and defend the constitution and laws of the United States of America.

Officer: Congratulations to our newest citizens.

''The audience claps. The Diouf parents picks up Cheikh and hug him. All are holding American flags. Mrs. Powers takes a picture.''

On the way home, the Dioufs stop in front of the preschool.

Cheikh: I thought we were going home, Yaay.

Mrs. Diouf: We have a surprise for you.

They walk into the schoolroom where the other kids have prepared a surprise party.

Kids: Congratulations, Cheikh! Woo-hoo, yay!

Mrs. Diouf brings a basket of fatayas.

Mrs. Diouf: Fatayas for everyone!

Kids: (Yay!  Woo-hoo!)

Mr. Diouf brings in a djembe drum.

Mr. Diouf: And a little music, too!

Cheikh: My drums!

Mr. Diouf starts playing and the kids dance.

Kids: (laugh)

Cheikh: Want a fataya, Bud?

Bud: No thanks. I have a tummy ache from eating stars and stripes stew all week. Yuck! I guess I'm just not a good American citizen.

Cheikh: Sure you are. Being an American means we're free not to like whatever we want.

Bud: (moans) You couldn't have told us that earlier?

He slumps on the desk.