Arthur vs. the Very Mean Crossing Guard/Transcript

Intro
(Arthur is looking under a bed) 

Arthur: Anybody here? (to the viewing audience) D.W. is so easy to fool! She'll believe anything. Like one time, I told her sweaters were a kind of animal.

D.W.: I'm not afraid of you.

(the sweater growls)

D.W.: (screaming)

Arthur: (V.O.) And I told her that if you stayed in the tub after you'd pull out the plug....

D.W.: Whoaaaaa!

Arthur: (V.O.) You'd get sucked in. She wouldn't take a bath for weeks. (back under the bed) Yep, she'll believe anything.

D.W.: Arthur, did you find anything?

Arthur: No monsters. At least none I noticed. Just try not to think about them and go to sleep. (toy squeaking) Agh! (chuckling)

(Intertitle)

ARTHUR VS. THE VERY MEAN CROSSING GUARD

                             Written by: Ken Scarborough  --- Storyboard by: G. Capelle and M. Gagnon

Binky Barnes: Arthur vs. the Very Mean Crossing Guard.

Arthur: Hey!

D.W.: Oops.

(Back to the story)

#
Arthur and Brain walk home from school.

Arthur: And one time I told her my Bionic Bunny poster could talk and it could tell me if she came in my room when I wasn’t there.

Brain: And she believed you? Wow, it must be great to have someone as gullible as D.W. for a sister.

Arthur: Is it ever. They high-five.

Brain: You wanna come over to my house and play “Fool the Mule”?

Arthur: Oh sure. Uh, Brain, what’s “gullible” mean?

Brain: Easy to fool.

Arthur: Oh right. I forgot what it meant. Yeah, that D.W., she sure is gullible.

#
Arthur: We can’t even pay for today. You think he’ll… send his goons?

Brain: Arthur, what are goons?

Arthur: I was gonna ask you that.

#
[During reading in class Brain is secretly trying to come up with a plan to get home and avoid the mean crossing guard but his plans don't seem to be working.

Brain: Oh what's the point? If only my parents would simply move across the street.....

(Jenna who is sitting next to him looks at him in annoyance and Mr. Ratburn looks up from his book at his desk and glares)

Mr. Ratburn: (clears his throat at Brain telling him to stop talking)

Brain:   (puts his book up to his mouth and whispers secretly to Arthur)  Everything would be fine.

Arthur: (whispering from behind his book)    I'm sure you could stay at our house tonight Brain. Grandma Thora is babysitting and she says yes to anything.

By this point Mr. Ratburn has left his desk and has approached Arthur and Brain's desks realizing they've been secretly talking to eachother.

Brain: Really?!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ratburn: (clears his throat at Brain once again telling him to stop talking)

Brain: (looks up at Mr. Ratburn and laughs nervously)

#
Arthur talks to Brain on the phone.

Arthur: I was pretty sure he was joking when he started talking about the cameras.

Brain: Yeah, you’d have to be pretty gullible to believe that one.

Arthur: I guess even smart people believe dumb stuff sometimes. He hears D.W.’s voice from upstairs.

D.W.: Arthur! Come here! Hurry!

Arthur: See you tomorrow, Brain. (sighs)

D.W. is in her bed looking scared.

D.W.: I think I heard something move down there.

Arthur: You’d better watch out. It could be a... He stops himself.

D.W.: A what?! A what?!

Arthur: Actually... actually there aren't any monsters under the bed, D.W. I was just saying that to fool you.

D.W.: Oh, I know that! I've always known that. But...could you check anyway? Pleeease?