Crime and Consequences/Transcript

Introduction
Mr. Haney steps in front of Mr. Ratburn’s class and taps a microphone.

Mr. Haney: Testing, testing! Good morning, class. Every year we give out the George Lundgren award to that student who has been the nicest all year. And this year the award goes to... George Lundgren?

George: What, me? This is such a shock!

George walks to the front holding Wally while his classmates applaud.

Arthur: Congratulations!

Buster: You deserved it!

Muffy: What a guy!

Mr. Haney pins a Number 1 ribbon on George’s chest and adjusts the microphone for him.

George: Thank you. Thank you, I don't know what to say. There were so many other, more deserving candidates.

Wally: Knock it off! You know you're the nicest kid in the school. That's why they named the award after you!

Police sirens are heard outside.

Policeman: George Lundgren, we know you're in there!

Wally: The cops!

The door opens and two police officers come in.

Policeman: Easy there, moose boy. You're under arrest for being mean. Cuff him, Caroline. And the dummy, too.

A policewoman puts one handcuff around George’s and Wally’s wrist.

Buster: There must be some mistake! George is the nicest kid in school! Just look at his ribbon!

Policeman: Nice, huh? You wouldn't say that if you knew what he'd done. Tell 'em, big horns.

George: I'm afraid he's right. I am guilty. Take me away, officer.

''The dream ends. George wakes up in bed. Wally lies beside him.''

George: (gasps)

Wally: Relax, George. It was just a bad dream.

George: If only that were true, Wally. (sighs)

He lies back and stare at the ceiling.

Title Card: The Ferris wheel rolls off the table
In the woodshop room, Arthur, George, Muffy, Buster and Binky stand around a table on which a model of a Ferris wheel made from matchsticks stands.

Arthur: Wow! I can't believe we actually made this! The cars even rock.

George: Careful! It's really fragile.

Binky: Big deal! It's just a bunch of toothpicks.

Muffy: You wouldn't say that if you had worked as hard as the rest of us.

George: Binky contributed, Muffy. Remember? He gave us that toothpick.

Binky: Yeah! And it was holding my sandwich together. I lost a tomato because of that thing.

He leaves, the others follow.

Buster: I can't wait to see how it looks at the fair! Mr. Ratburn said they're putting it right underneath the real Ferris wheel.

Binky: Why? So the little mice can ride on it? (chuckles)

Buster: Come on, Binky.

Muffy: Knock it off!

''George closes the door behind him. His backpack with Wally in it is still beside the table. George comes back, takes Wally out and looks at the model.''

George: What do you think, Wally?

Wally: I think there's a diner somewhere where all the customers have food stuck in their teeth.

George: Check this out. The cars even rock!

He touches a car and half of it breaks off.

George: (gasps)

''The wheel’s support collapses. The wheel itself drops on the table and rolls off the side.''

George: Noooo!

''He runs to catch it. A piece of Wally’s suit rips on a vice. The wheel falls to the floor and shatters. The piece of cloth, Wally’s face and the shattered wheel are shown accompanied by dramatic violins.''

***

''A while later, George puts Wally in his locker. He notices the hole in the suit.''

George: Huh?

Arthur and Buster come.

Arthur: George, we have some bad news.

Buster: It's about our Ferris wheel.

George: (gasps) Yeah, that. Well, I was just...

Muffy comes.

Muffy: It's destroyed! But they caught who did it.

George: What?

Arthur: I knew Binky thought it was a goofy idea! But I don't know why he had to destroy it.

Buster: Maybe he was still upset about that tomato. It must have been an heirloom.

George: Binky? But he...!

Muffy: He was caught red handed this morning in shop class. He is in Principal Haney's Office right now.

George runs off.

***

''The scene cuts to Mr. Haney's office. Binky stands with Mr. Haney in the latter’s office. Mr. Haney opens the door just as George is about to knock.''

Mr. Haney: I'm sorry, Mr. Barnes. But we just do not tolerate such behavior in the school.

Binky leaves.

Mr. Haney: Hello, George. Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?

George: Yes, Mr. Haney. It's... Well, you see, I...

Mr. Haney: Let me guess - you forgot! (chuckles) Happens to me every day. If I didn't write everything down, I'd just...

He takes out a notepad.

Mr. Haney: Oh, dear, I'm late for that bake sale meeting. (hums)

He walks away.

***

At lunch, George walks into the cafeteria and sits down beside Binky who is sitting alone.

Binky: I know what you're gonna say, but I didn't break the Ferris wheel.

George: I believe you. I came to tell you that...

Binky: And when I find out who did, I'm going to going to twist them into...

He twists his spoon.

Binky: What did you just say?

George: Er... I believe you. I mean, it probably just fell over, right?

Binky: Uh-uh. It was on the floor all the way at the other end of the table. Someone broke it, all right, but it wasn't me.

George: So, why does everyone think you did it?

Binky: I was standing right over it this morning when the shop teacher came in.

Flashback: Binky picks up a toothpick from the floor when Mr. Bevel comes in.

Mr. Bevel: (gasps)

Binky cleans his teeth with the pick.

Binky (narrator): I had a piece of bacon stuck in my teeth. I thought there might be a stray toothpick lying around.

The flashback ends.

Binky: Now I have to stay after school and clean up the shop classroom for a week. I'm never eating bacon again.

George: I'll help you if you want.

Binky: Why? It wasn't your fault.

George: Um, well, I guess it just seems unfair that you got blamed for something you didn't do.

Binky: Okay. Boy, you really are nice! It's weird.

George looks unhappy.

George: Thanks.

***

George and Binky clean up the destroyed Ferris wheel.

Binky: George, look at this! I don't remember that being there yesterday.

He looks at the piece of Wally’s suit.

George: We probably didn't see it. It's just a little piece of fabric.

He tries to take it but Binky beats him to it.

Binky: Hm, I've seen this green somewhere before.

George: (gasps)

Binky: I bet this belongs to the real criminal.

George pushes Wally aside with his foot.

Binky: I've got it!

***

Binky and George stand in Buster’s room.

Binky: ...and then, as you were running away, you tore your shirt on the vice, leaving this behind! Case closed!

Buster sits at his desk with his desk lamp pointed right in his face.

Buster: Okay, okay, I admit it, I broke the Ferris wheel! (sobs)

George pats him on the back.

George: No, you didn't!

Buster: I know. But Binky's such a good interrogator, I felt the need to confess.

Binky: How did you know he didn't do it?

George: Because... because the green of the shirt he's wearing is completely different from that piece of fabric.

Binky picks up the fabric and holds it next to Buster’s turquoise sweatshirt.

Binky: Aww, you're right.

Buster: But I did take your juice box in first grade! Oh, boy, it feels so good to get that off my chest. And then, in second grade, I...

George and Binky leave.

***

Binky and George stand in front of the Baxters’ condominium.

George: (sighs) Well, I guess we'll never know who did it now.

Fern steps out from behind a bush dressed as Virgule Watteau.

Fern: Ah! But Watteau sinks zere is more to zis case zan is meeting ze eyes.

George: Fern? What are you doing here?

Fern: I am not Fern! I am ze great detective, Virgule Watteau. And you are my sidekick, Bastings. So, Monsieur Binky, I hear zat you believe you have been framed, no?

Binky: Yes! Can you help us, Fern with a funny accent?

Fern: Ze name is Watteau, Virgule Watteau! And, yes, she will help you. Come to my office.

Binky and George follow Fern.

***

''In her room, Fern looks at the piece of green fabric through a magnifying glass. There is some red thread running through it.''

Fern: Yes. Très interessant.

Binky: Can you tell us who it belongs to?

Fern: Non.

George: Okay! That's that. Boy, am I tired.

Fern: But, I can say zis: Ze material, it is very cheap. And ze stitching is sloppy.

George: Huh?

Fern: Amateur!

George: No, it isn't! I mean... You can't tell. It's just a piece. The whole suit probably looks much better.

Binky: How do you know it's a suit?

Fern: May I keep zis? I would like to run some tests on it.

Binky: Okay. If you think that will help the investigation, Whatso.

He leaves.

George: Watteau! Ze name is Virgule Watteau!! Bastings, is everysing okay? You are acting un peu strange.

George sits down on the bed and immediately gets up again.

George: Me? Strange? I'm not acting strange. Why do you think I'm acting strange? Do I look like I'm acting strange?

Fern: Non, but... your accent, it is very... American.

George: Oh, that. (English accent:) Righto! Didn't even notice. Well, cheerio.

He leaves.

Fern: Hmm…

***

That evening, George sits at his desk holding Wally.

Wally: George, I'm disappointed in you. It's time for you to fess up and apologize.

George: I know. I feel terrible. I'll tell Binky tomorrow.

Wally: Binky? I was talking about me! You ruined a perfectly good suit. You can't tell Binky the truth, he'll twist you into a pretzel.

George: I don't care. I can't stand feeling guilty all the time.

He and Wally lie in bed.

Wally: Can I stay in the sock drawer tomorrow?

***

The next morning, George rehearses in front of the mirror in his room.

George: And then I kept covering it up. Anyway, I'm really sorry. I'll tell Principal Haney first thing Monday morning. Well, are you angry?

''His reflection turns into a pretzel. The doorbell rings and the reflection changes back to normal.''

George opens the front door to Binky.

Binky: Hi, George. Detective Wattles called me. She wants me to meet her at the fair. Wanna come?

George: Er...

Binky: Great, let's go.

He pulls George away.

***

George and Binky stand at Wonderworld.

Binky: She should be here any minute. She told me she knows who did it.

George: (sighs) Binky, I have something to tell you.

Mr. Haney comes with a lollipop.

Mr. Haney: Oh, hello, boys. Enjoying the fair? Oh, you're probably waiting for an adult to take you on the Ferris wheel, hm?

Binky: Um, actually...

Mr. Haney: It's no trouble at all. I've been on it four times already, but I just can't get enough. (chuckles)

The boys exchange looks and follow Mr. Haney.

***

A while later, Mr. Haney, Binky and George sit in a Ferris wheel car.

Mr. Haney: Here we go! I just love Ferris wheels, don't you? Didn't always, though. I used to be terrified of them. But then I took up tightrope walking, and before I knew it...

The wheel stops when their car is at the very top.

George: I did it! I broke the Ferris wheel.

Mr. Haney: Seems to be running smoothly to me.

George: No! What I mean is...

Binky: What he means is that he broke his streak of not riding in Ferris wheels. Right, George?

Mr. Haney: Oh, congratulations!

***

A while later, Mr. Haney and the boys part in front of the Ferris wheel.

Mr. Haney: If you boys want to go again, just give me a holler.

He leaves.

George: Why didn't you let me tell Principal Haney?

Binky: You've always been pretty nice to me, George and, well... I haven't always been that nice to you, so… I'm returning the favor. Oh, you also have to clean up my room for a month.

They start walking over the fairground.

George: How long have you known?

Binky: I only figured it out last night, when I remembered where I'd seen that color green before: Wally.

George: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in trouble.

Binky: And you could've gotten away with it, too. But you fessed up. That takes guts.

Fern comes, dressed as Watteau again.

Fern: Mes amis, I am sorry for the tardiness, but Watteau, she has solved ze crime. Ze breaker of ze Ferris wheel is... 'im!

She points to Mr. Haney who is throwing darts at balloons while James watches.

Fern: You see? Ze green. It is ze same as 'is jacket. Ingenious, non?

Binky: Bah, who cares who did it? It's a beautiful day, and we're at a fair. Let's go on some rides, Bateau.

He walks away with George.

Fern: Okay, time out. It's "Watteau". Why is that so hard? If you don't get it right, I'm not playing anymore!