Brain Gets Hooked/Transcript

The following is a  transcript for the episode called Brain Gets Hooked.

Introduction
Arthur is bursting bubble wrap in the living room.

Arthur: One thing that really bugs me is when people get so obsessed by something that... Oh, hold on. He bursts a bubble. Anyway, they get so obsessed that they just can't stop!

''Flashback: The kids sit in class writing. Buster is wearing earphones.''

Arthur (narrator): Like when Buster thought that if he didn't listen to every Grebes game they would start losing again.

Buster: Yes!

Mr. Ratburn smiles and takes an earphone off. Commentator (on earphone): A great slam by Playmon and the Grebes are up by one.

Flashback: Mr. Molina is on a ladder installing lights on his house.

Arthur (narrator): Then there was the time that Dad and Mr. Molina got into a competition over who had the best Christmas decorations.

Mr. Molina: This year, David, I am putting you to shame!

''He puts in a plug and the decorations on his house light up. Mr. Read is also on a ladder.''

Mr. Read: Think again, Ramon!

''He puts in a plug and the decorations on his house light up. The lights go off all over town.''

''The flashbacks end. Arthur is still bursting bubbles.''

Arthur: I mean, really, why is it so hard for people to realize when they should just stop?

Mrs. Read: Arthur, dinner!

Arthur: Coming, Mom! Just one more.

He bursts two more bubbles and runs off.

Title Card: Brain Swims
Brain stands in the hallway holding a chess set and a stop clock.

Brain: Mom, it's time for my chess tournament.

His mom comes down the stairs.

Mrs. Powers: Alan, it doesn't start for another hour, we have plenty of time.

Brain: But I have to get there early, it helps my concentration.

Mrs. Powers: Sorry, honey, you'll have to wait a little bit while I finish up the bills.

''Brain sits down in the living room and turns on the TV. It shows first a cow, then a beauty contest, then two kids at a computer in a control room.''

Devin (on TV): It's a clue to the password - get pie to eight places. What is that? Some kind of a dessert code?

Brain: Three point one four one five nine two six five.

Byron (on TV): Not pie like cherry pie. Pi the mathematical constant to eight decimal places. He types. Three point one four one five nine two six five.

Brain (on TV): These shows are so predictable.

An alarm sounds in the control room.

Byron+Devin (on TV): Run!

Devin (on TV): Run! ''She grabs Byron. They run along a metal corridor and jump through a closing metal gate. They fall on the ground in a jungle.'' Phew, we made it!

A roar is heard.

Byron (on TV): A walrus in the jungle?

The show is interrupted by an announcement.

Announcement (on TV): Thirty kids, a mysterious island. Will they escape?

Mrs. Powers comes in.

Mrs. Powers: I'm ready, Alan. Let's hit that chess tournament.

Brain: I'll be right there. I just want to watch this absurd show for a few more minutes.

***

Arthur and Brain walk in the school cafeteria carrying trays.

Arthur: So, how was your chess tournament yesterday?

Brain: It was okay. I won. I saw this inane TV show yesterday. These kids get marooned on an island when their ship crashes on the way to summer camp.

They sit down at a table.

Arthur: Uh-huh.

Brain: They're supposed to be in seventh grade, but they survive by hunting antelope with bows and arrows. As if a seventh-grader could ever do that!

***

Brain and Buster play basketball during break.

Brain: And the island has a laboratory on it built by a mad scientist who's discovered how to create new animals. Like a jungle walrus.

Buster: Sounds cool!

Brain: How could one guy on an island achieve such an important scientific breakthrough? It's impossible!

Buster scores and catches the rebound.

Buster: Maybe he's from a very advanced alien civilization.

Brain: And then there's this girl Devin. She develops the ability to talk to animals. And she's stronger than half the boys!

***

Brain talks to Francine in the classroom.

Francine: What's so unrealistic about a girl being stronger than boys?

Brain: Well, okay, I guess that part is plausible.

Francine: For a silly show, you sure are talking about it a lot.

Mr. Ratburn: Quiet, please. For our history unit on the Middle Ages each of you will be assigned to present an oral report by the end of the week. If any of you have ideas for topics...

Binky: Swords and armor!

Mr. Ratburn: Very well, Binky, swords and armor. Alan, how about you?

Brain is drawing a map of Junior Island.

Brain: Huh? Oh, uh... The Magna Carta.

Mr. Ratburn: Ah, one of the most important documents in medieval history.

***

Brain is doing his homework in the living room.

Brain: The Magna Carta was an English charter issued in 1215 that was of great significance because...

He sees the remote control in front of him and turns on the TV.

Byron, Trent and Devin are standing on a beach near a lifeboat looking at the beached cruise ship.

Devin (on TV): Guys, we have to find a way off this island!

Trent (on TV): One of us has to sail the lifeboat out past the breakers and get help. It's our only way!

Byron (on TV): It's too risky, Trent. But if we can just get some batteries from the lab then I can program the ship's transmitter to send a distress signal.

Trent (on TV): Wake up, computer nerd. It's time for somebody to take action.

Brain: That guy is a moron. Devin should pay more attention to Byron.

Announcer (on TV): Stay tuned, as our back-to-back marathon of Junior Island continues.

***

''The clock goes from five o'clock to five past seven. Brain is eating popcorn while watching TV.''

Devin (on TV): We're trapped in this mad scientist's creepy zoo, what should we do, Trent?

Trent (on TV): Nothing we can do, Devin, but wait and hope that someone finds us.

Brain: Just use the code, it's pi! You learned it in episode six! He stands up and stamps his foot. This wouldn't be happening if Byron was there.

''The doorbell rings. Brain turns off the TV and goes to the door where Arthur and Buster are waiting with their bikes.''

Arthur: We're going riding in the park, wanna come?

Brain: No, I've gotta work on my report.

Buster: We thought you were done. You were watching TV, so...

Brain: No, I wasn't, I was working...

Arthur: Brain, we heard the TV on.

Brain: Maybe it was in another house.

Arthur and Buster stare at him.

Buster: Okay...well, see you at school, I guess.

***

''Brain sits in the living room and opens his book on the Magna Carta. He sees the remote control and turns on the TV.''

***

Brain walks along a school corridor whistling.

Fern: Hey! I know that theme song. Are you into Junior Island?

Brain: That depends what you mean by “into”.

Fern: I was crazy about that show. I've seen every episode. You have to be careful, though, it's kind of addictive.

They enter the classroom.

Brain: So, do they get off the island?

Fern: You just have to watch and find out, but don't watch too many at once, it can make you...

Brain: Make me what?

Mr. Ratburn comes in.

Mr. Ratburn: Okay, time for our oral reports. Who would like to get us started?

Binky: Oh! Me first!

Mr. Ratburn: Well, Binky, this is a welcome surprise. Please, go ahead.

Binky puts a picture of a sword on the teacher's desk and shows a wooden sword.

Binky: In early medieval times, knights used swords and their armor was a shirt with metal rings called chain mail.

He shows another picture.

A while later Binky finishes the report now wearing a self-made suit of armor.

Binky: Eventually, they made armor out of steel plates that could cover every part of the knight's body. The end.

Everybody claps.

Mr. Ratburn: Excellent report, Binky. I can't imagine how anyone could top that! Alan, want to give it a try? Brain is working on his map of Junior Island. Alan?

Brain: What?! Oh, sure. He walks to the front. (clears throat) In 1215, the most powerful barons of England forced the unpopular King John to meet them at Runnymede Meadow and sign the agreement later known as the Magna Carta. It was... He sees a toy bow on Binky's desk. That's it! They could build a giant longbow that would launch them all off the island!

Everybody stares.

Mr. Ratburn: Excuse me, Alan?

Brain: Oh, it's this TV show I... Never mind. The Magna Carta was a legal document that limited the power of the king.

He goes to his desk.

Mr. Ratburn: That's all?

Brain: Uh, yes.

Mr. Ratburn: Very well, who's next?

***

The kids are leaving the classroom after school.

Mr. Ratburn: And don't forget to pick up your oral report grades on your way out.

Brain looks at his grade and comes back in.

Brain: (gasps) Mr. Ratburn, this is a C. There must be some mistake!

Mr. Ratburn: That's what I felt your report deserved. Although I must confess, I was a little surprised as well.

Brain: But this could ruin my grade-point average!

Mr. Ratburn: If you can re-do your report by Thursday, I'll reconsider the C.

***

''Brain walks down a corridor. Fern catches up with him.''

Fern: Like I said, never watch more than one a day and stay away from the DVD box set.

Brain: Yeah, I guess you're right. Wait! You can get the episodes on DVD?

***

Brain stands at the checkout counter in the library with the DVD box set.

Miss Turner: Is this it, Alan? Just this DVD? You usually leave with a stack of books.

Brain: Oh, um... I'll take this as well.

He picks up a book lying on the counter.

Miss Turner: Hm. “Adventures in Macramé”? You certainly do have eclectic tastes.

***

''In the living room Brain picks up the Magna Carta book. He sees the DVD, but shakes his head and puts it in a kitchen cupboard which he locks. Back in the living room the cupboard key distracts him, so he puts it in a cupboard in the garage which he also locks. On his way back to the house he looks at the key.''

***

Brain rides his bike and catches up with Arthur and Buster.

Brain: You guys, wait up!

Arthur and Buster stop at the park.

Arthur: Hey, Brain, glad you decided to come out.

Brain: I just need a favor. I need you to hold this key for me, until tomorrow. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, don't give it back to me!

Buster: Uh, okay, but maybe Arthur should take it. I lose keys all the time.

Brain: Even better. You take it!

He puts the keychain around Buster's neck.

***

Brain sits in the living room and works on his report.

Brain: The Magna Carta was... Contrary to popular belief, the Magna Carta... As every schoolchild knows, the Magna Carta... Ugh! It's no use! I have to know if they get off the island!

***

Brain kneels in front of Buster at the Baxters' house.

Brain: Forget what I said before, I was crazy. I didn't know what I was saying! You've got to give me the key!

Buster: Are you sure? You seemed a lot less crazy before than you do now.

Brain: Look! A jungle walrus!

Buster: Where? That? That's just Bi... Brain snatches the key. Hey!

***

''Brain unlocks the cupboard in the garage, then a jewel box, then a toy trunk. Inside the trunk he finds a Rubik's Cube. He solves it and a key falls out. When he tries to unlock the kitchen cupboard with it, the key falls into the drain.''

Brain: Nooooo!

''He bangs his fist against the cupboard, which opens. Brain takes out the DVD.''

***

Fern rings the Powers' doorbell.

Devin (on TV): Trent, look. Byron has come to save us!

Trent (on TV): Took you long enough, egghead!

Fern: Brain? It's me, Fern. Are you there? She moves the door handle and the door opens. I'm coming in, okay?

Brain sits in the dark living room surrounded by notes and sketches.

Brain: They could dig a tunnel. No! The water pressure would cause it to collapse.

Fern: (gasps) It's worse than I thought. She turns on the light. Get a grip on yourself!

She turns off the TV.

Brain: Fern! Turn it back on!

Fern: Didn't I tell you to watch one a day, or less?

Brain: But how are they gonna get off? We just can't leave them there!

Fern: Brain, it's just a TV show. It's not real! She holds up a school book. Here, this is real. Do you know what we're gonna do now?

Brain: We're going to write my oral report.

Mrs. Powers comes in.

Mrs. Powers: What on earth happened here?

Brain: Sorry. I'll clean this up when we're done.

***

Brain presents a copy of the Magna Carta to the class.

Brain: So, to sum up, the Magna Carta was a lot more than just an early legal document. It meant that from that point on, even the king had to obey the law.

Mr. Ratburn: Good job, Alan. Don't forget your biology projects for tomorrow.

Fern and Brain leave the classroom.

Fern: You're not gonna just run home and watch six episodes of Junior Island, are you?

Brain: Trust me, I'll stick to the limits. After I finish my homework, I'm just gonna watch one.

Fern: Okay. So, which one are you gonna watch?

***

On Brain's TV Devin, Byron and Trent are walking across a land bridge towards a city.

Devin (on TV): Two years on this island and there was a land bridge here all this time?

Byron (on TV): I told you we should've checked the other side of the island when we first got here! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

Trent (on TV): Give it a rest, Einstein. We've got a long walk home.

Brain: That's it? That's how they get off?

''The phone rings. It is Fern.''

Fern: Well, pretty amazing, huh?

Brain: Pretty ridiculous. It doesn't make any sense.

Fern: Well, it might in the next season. I hear that they all get shipwrecked again and...

Brain: You know what? I think I finally kicked the habit. Goodnight, Fern. Thanks for all your help. And goodnight, Junior Island.

He turns off the TV.