Little Miss Meanie

Summary
Lydia and Muffy join forces to defeat a mean beauty queen in the "Little Miss Crocus" pageant.

Plot
It all started when Muffy sees the poster for the new "Little Miss Crocus" pageant. Muffy is excited and amazed that the winner would get a beautiful tiara. She chooses to sign up and waited in line to sign up. Francine doesn't see the big deal with beauty pageants since she finds them shallow and ridiculous. Muffy explained she never won beauty pageants and tried three times. The first one was "Little Miss Daffodil" where she lost that one because it was during her gap tooth years. The second one was "Little Miss Strawberry" where she lost that one because she broke down into hives. The third one was "Little Miss Aloe" where Muffy doesn't know why she lost that one but it shows she had toilet paper stuck on the bottom of her shoes.

When Muffy was about to sign up, Lydia signed for the pageant. This shocks and worries Muffy because she thinks that Lydia will win easily because she's in a wheelchair. She thinks once the judges will see Lydia in a wheelchair, they will feel sorry for her and give her the tiara. Unknowingly to Lydia, she tells Jenna that she thinks Muffy will win easily because of being rich and will bribe the judges with the expensive objects in her possession.

While walking with Muffy, Francine said that the pageants would only care about the talents. But Muffy doesn't listen and believes that they would only care about the looks and plans to tell Lydia to drop out of the pageant. That night, Muffy practices to tell Lydia to drop out in the nicest possible way that she can. The next day at the sign up pageant, Muffy sees a girl named Portia Demwiddy telling Lydia to drop out of the contest because she'd win easily for being in a wheelchair. Muffy hears how mean it sounded and Portia goes up to her and even tells Muffy to drop out because of her wealth. Both Muffy and Lydia are horrified and disgusted by what a snob and bully Portia really is and how she's trying to butter up the judges with being polite. They choose to work together to make sure Portia does not win the tiara. They think about doing bad stuff to her but realize they'd be bullies like her, so they decide to beat her fair and square.

Muffy decorates Lydia's wheelchair with shiny jewels and Lydia gets one of Muffy's dresses loaned to her. Lydia helps Muffy practice how to spin the baton for her act. As they were practicing, Muffy's phone rang and Lydia picks it up and greets the caller with an elegant accent but loses the accent when she realizes it's Francine. When Francine recognized Lydia, she quickly thinks Muffy is trying to get her to quit and tells her not to listen because she doesn't have an "unfair advantage" which confuses and shocks Lydia. Muffy quickly hangs up the phone and when Lydia glared at Muffy, she admits that she thought Lydia was going win easily because she was in a wheelchair. She admits that she was about to ask her to drop out but once she saw Portia doing it, she heard how mean and nasty it sounded and feels terrible for even thinking it. However, Lydia admits that she thought that Muffy would win easily because of being rich and bribing the judges. This made them realize that the girls have a lot of matters in common and continue to practice for the pageant.

On the day of the pageant, the first person up was a girl name Beulah McInnerny who does a hula dance and an ukulele song. Then, later, it was Lydia who does basketball tricks and shots, and Muffy who sings and tap dances to Yankee Doodle Boy. The last person to show their act is Portia who does an amazing ballet dance but, however, during the dance, the machine for her spotlight malfunctions which forces the lights to go back on and the host tells Portia she has to continue her dance without it. Portia refuses, saying she needs it and find it is unacceptable and demanded that someone should be fired. She began to throw a temper tantrum, which shocks everybody, even the judges, so the host has to close the curtains on her. Then, the host called the first runners-up, which Lydia and Muffy are one of them, and the winner of Little Miss Crocus is.....

...Beulah McInnerny! Lydia is glad that Beulah won because she is not like one of those snobby beauty pageant contestants. Muffy agrees and said how her ukulele playing was great and Muffy once again apologizes to Lydia about judging her and Lydia accepts it. As they were going home, they both think beauty pageants are shallow and ridiculous and how the name Little Miss Crocus is terrible. They come up with new names like Little Miss Rocket Science, Little Miss Algebra, etc.

Greater

 * Lydia Fox
 * Muffy Crosswire
 * Francine Frensky
 * Jenna Morgan
 * Portia Demwiddy

Background

 * Maria Pappas
 * Bailey
 * Prunella Deegan
 * Bill
 * Jessica Simmons
 * Sue Ellen Armstrong
 * Madison Compson
 * Cisely Compson
 * Thora Read
 * Cheikh's father
 * Lucy's mother
 * Leah MacGrady
 * Chip Crosswire
 * Rufus Compson
 * Catherine Frensky
 * Dry cleaners worker
 * The Brain
 * Mary
 * Beulah McInnerny
 * 3rd Grade Female Aardvark

Trivia

 * This episode was not shown when Season 19 originally aired in the UK.
 * The host of Little Miss Crocus appeared in Revenge of the Chip and D.W. Unties the Knot.