The Last of Mary Moo Cow/Transcript

(One afternoon, Arthur switches the clocks from 3:30 to 4:00 and turns on the television. D.W. comes into the living room)

D.W. Read: Uh-uh-uh. Three-thirty is my T.V. time. Your time is—

(Arthur points at the clock on top of the television)

D.W.: I DON'T WATCH MARY MOO COW ON A CLOCK!

Arthur Read: It says four o'clock.

D.W.: Lucky for me, I can't tell time! (she changes the channel to her favorite show Mary Moo Cow) MOM! ARTHUR CHANGED ALL THE CLOCKS AGAIN!

Arthur: There's no fooling D.W. when it comes to Mary Moo Cow.

(at the supermarket)

D.W.: Mom, it's three-thirty!

(in the sandbox)

D.W.: Oh, no. It's 3:30!

(a duck repairman is fixing the television)

D.W.: Oh, you're too slow! (fixes it herself)

Arthur: If she couldn't watch this show, she'd go crazy! Well, crazier.

Mary Moo Cow: Thank you, boys and girls! That was fun! Will you sing it again?

Kids on T.V.: Yes!

Arthur: Wha-what are you waiting for?! QUICK, GO TO THE TITLE CARD!!!

Title Card (Super Sister)

Francine Frensky: (V.O.) The Last of Mary Moo Cow.

D.W.: TA-DA!

(Back to the story)

D.W.: (screaming)

Arthur, David, Jane: D.W., what's wrong?!

D.W.: She's coming!

Mary Moo Cow: So remember, boys and girls, I'll see you real soon when I visit—

Announcer: (finishes her sentence) Thursday, the Mill Creek Mall in Elwood City. Friday, Petie Pete's Pizzeria.

Mary Moo Cow: And I can hardly wait! Moo to you!

D.W.: To you, too!

(fantasy sequence)

Mary Moo Cow: (sings to the tune of Are You Sleeping) Oh, D.W., oh, D.W., I love you.

D.W,: Really, Moo?

Mary Moo Cow: There is no one smarter.

D.W.: Yeah, tell that to Arthur!

Mary Moo Cow: Arthur?! Blech! (sings to the tune of This Old Man) I love you....

(D.W. and Mary fly off to Mary's barn)

Both: Toodle-loo!

(end of fantasy)

D.W.: Okay. I've figured it out. I can live in Mary Moo Cow's barn during the summer, then live here with you and Daddy and Kate the rest of the year when Arthur is in school.

Arthur: You're insane! They're not gonna put you on their show.

D.W.: Not they, she, Mary Moo Cow! (points at one of the dresses on her bed) This one.

Mom: Honey, there are going to be lots of kids there to see her.

D.W.: I know. That's why you can't tell her I'm related to Arthur. (she and her mother are in the car) Do you think Mary Moo Cow has spinach for dinner? I could eat it once or twice maybe, just to be polite, but not every night. Oh, and do you think she has bunk beds?

Arthur: Well, she's gone! That means....

Arthur and Buster: DARK BUNNY!

(at the mall)

D.W.: And I know Mary loves babies, so Kate could probably come and visit when Mary and me have our days off.

(children crying)

D.W.: I'm sorry. Mary can't take everybody.

Mom: Oh, my! I'm sorry, honey.

D.W.: What? What does it say?

(There is a sign on the door that says MEET MARY MOO COW AT 3:00 - CANCELLED)

Mom: No Mary Moo Cow today, I'm afraid. They've canceled it.