D.W.'s Baby/Transcript

(Opens up on Arthur sitting on a chair in front of a T.V., holding a remote)

Arthur: Ready?

(Arthur turns on the T.V)

Arthur: Ok, this is a video of my first birthday...

(The reflection of the T.V. goes on Arthur's glasses)

Arthur: (cont.) Before I had glasses.

(A 1-year-old Arthur is shown on the T.V. Arthur's Mom places a birthday cake in front of him and demonstrates how to blow out the candle.)

Arthur's Dad: Come on Arthur! (blows)

(Arthur puffs up his cheeks)

Arthur's Dad: That's right! Now, blow!

(Back to the Present. Arthur laughs.)

Arthur: Come on Arthur! (blows)

(Back to the video. Arthur's Mom demonstrates to him how to blow out the candle again. Arthur sneezes.)

(Present Day)

Arthur: Hey, perfect!

(On the video, Arthur's Mom is shown wiping off the birthday cake crumbs that went on her when Arthur sneezed.)

(Next, we see a video of D.W's first birthday)

Mom, Dad, and Arthur: Happy Birthday D.W.!

Arthur: And this is D.W's first birthday.

Baby D.W: (speaks gibberish)

Young Arthur: D.W! Watch me. I'll show you how to blow out the candle. (blows)

(Baby D.W fans out the candle with a plate)

Baby D.W:(speaks gibberish)

Arthur: And now it's Kate's very first birthday.

(D.W. secretly films Arthur)

Arthur: Cut it out! Mom, D.W.'s wrecking the video!

(D.W. is shown sitting upside down on a chair, holding a video camera)

D.W: No I'm not! I'm just trying to make Arthur look more interesting, but it's hopeless.

(Cut to the dining room table)

Arthur, Mom, and Dad: Happy Birthday Kate!

(D.W. is filming)

D.W: A little sister is always more interesting than a brother. (She walks away)

Arthur: You didn't always think that.

D.W: What do you mean?

Arthur: I remember how you felt when Kate first came home.

(Title Card: D.W's Baby)

(We open up on the Read's car in front of their house.)

(Cut to Arthur and D.W. inside the house. D.W. is standing on the couch, looking at the window while Arthur reads a book)

D.W: She's here! My sister's here!

(Mom and Dad enter the house, Mom is holding Kate in her arms)

D.W: Let me see! (x3)

Mom: Shhhh. She's sleeping.

D.W: (groans)

(D.W. takes off her shoes.)

D.W: Let me hold her. (x2) Please?

Mom: It's certainly nice to be home. It was just too quiet at that hospital.

(Dad fixes up a baby monitor right next to Kate's crib)

Dad: Now we'll hear her if she cries.

(Mom, Dad, and Arthur walk away, while D.W. watches Kate.)

Dad: D.W.? (x2) (He picks up D.W.)

.D.W: That's it? You're done with her?

(Cut to D.W. trying to go into a room.)

Mom: D.W., wanna come help me make dinner? You have to let the baby sleep.

D.W: Hasn't she had enough sleep by now? I heard that too much sleep is bad for you.

(Cut to Dad and Arthur watching T.V.)

Dad: (laughs)

(D.W. listens to the baby monitor.)

D.W: She's inhaling, now she's exhaling, inhaling again, exhale, in-

Arthur: Dad, she's doing it again!

Dad: (sighs) D.W., please.

D.W: (whispering) Inhale, exhale...

(Zoom in on Kate sleeping)

(The next day, D.W. sits on the kitchen countertop, right near the sink. She looks at a bucket of water.)

Dad: Bath time for Kate!

(He walks toward the sink carrying Kate.)

D.W: I'll give her a bath!

(Dad puts Kate in the water.)

Dad: You'll have to wait until she's a little bit older D.W.

(D.W. looks at her arm.)

D.W: How about now?

(Fade to D.W. playing doctor. As she pretends to wrap some of her stuffed animals, her imaginary friend, Nadine appears.)

D.W: Hey, I'm a baby expert. Why don't they want my help?

Nadine: You know, grown-ups. Give them time.

D.W. and Nadine: They're slow learners. (laughs)

Mom: Arthur, could you watch Kate while I go upstairs?

D.W: Why is she leaving him in charge? He doesn't know beans about babies.

Nadine: This is your chance to show your mommy how much you know.

(Zoom to Arthur looking after Kate.)

D.W: Yeah.

(Cut to Arthur picking up Kate's pacifier.)

Arthur: Here, you dropped this.

(He attempts to put the pacifier in Kate's mouth)

D.W: Arthur! Was that on the floor?

(Cut to D.W. running over to Arthur.)

D.W: It has to be sterilized!

(D.W. tries blowing on the pacifier, even rubbing it on her shirt)

D.W: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything.

(She tugs on Arthur's shirt.)

D.W: There.

(The doorbell rings.)

D.W: Here, I'll get it.

(Cut to Arthur trying to catch the pacifier. After this, he stops and D.W. walks in, along with Arthur's friends Buster and Francine.)

Francine: What a cute baby! She looks like me when I was a baby.

(Cut to Francine and Buster looking at Kate.)

(Kate starts crying.)

D.W: Everyone stand back! I know what she wants.

(Arthur picks up Kate's pacifier. He then puts it in Kate's mouth.)

(Kate spits out the pacifier.)

D.W: Stand back.

(She runs over to Kate, holding a baby bottle. She tries to offer it to Kate.)

(Cut to Nadine hiding behind a chair.)

Nadine: Maybe you should go get your mommy.

D.W: No, I've watched mommy. I know exactly what to do.

(She picks up Kate.)

Nadine: Maybe now you should get your mommy.

D.W: Then she'd think I'm not a baby expert.

(Cuts to Arthur, then cuts back to D.W.)

D.W: Everyone, calm down, I know exactly what to do!

(She gives Kate to Arthur.)

D.W: Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper.

(She runs away.)

(Cut to Buster and Francine.)

Buster: Come on Kate. (speaks gibberish)

(Cut to Arthur holding Kate.)

Arthur: I wonder what she's trying to tell us.

(He then starts patting Kate on the back.)

(Kate burps, and sighs.)

Francine and Buster: Awwwwwwww...

(Arthur's mom enters the room, along with D.W.)

Mom: Is everything alright?

D.W: Huh?

Arthur: It is now.

Buster: Arthur burped the baby right when she was about to explode!

(Everyone laughs, D.W. groans.)

(Transition to D.W. sitting on a swing, Nadine then appears.)

D.W: I loosen up the gas and he takes the credit.

Nadine: I don't think Arthur was trying to make you look bad, burps are mysterious things.

(Fades to Arthur feeding Kate with a baby bottle.)

D.W: One burp and he takes over. I should be doing that, she's my sister.

Dad (V.O.): It would fit right here.

D.W: Huh?

(D.W. Enters her room to see what her parents are talking about)

[D.W.] What would fit?

“Jane” the crib. Pretty soon Kate will be moving into your room

“D.W.” She will!?

(She runs into Arthur’s room)

“D.W.” Maybe you make her burp Arthur. But she’s going to be living with me in my room!

(D.W. Directs her parents as they position Kate’s crib)

“D.W.” A little to the left. Easy does it. Mom your ends crooked.

“D.W. (Speaking to Kate)” we’re gonna have so much fun!

“Kate” (giggles)

(The scene transitions to night. Kate’s crying keeps D.W. Up)

(Fade out to the next day. Jane is changing Kate’s soiled diaper. D.W. catches a whiff of the soiled cloth and is completely disgusted by it)

“D.W. (Holding her nose)” P.U.! It stinks like a zoo in here!!

(D.W. runs to the window to let in some fresh air)

“Jane” D.W. Close that! The baby will be having her nap!

“D.W. (Holding her doll)” EWWW! My doll will smell like poopy diapers!