D.W. All Fired Up/Transcript

''It's morning at the Read house and D.W. is sleeping happily when her alarm clock rings. Her mother shakes her.''

Mrs. Read: Come on, D.W., time for school.

D.W.: (rising excitedly) Oh boy! School!

She races out of bed and the scene changes to show her seated at the kitchen table, gobbling down cereal from a bowl.

D.W.: All finished! (backs out of her chair) We should go, Mom, or we might be late! (gets up and heads over to her chair) Why don't you take your cereal with you?

Mrs. Read: D.W., we've got plenty of time.

Arthur: (facing and speaking to the viewer) D.W. really loves school. Sometimes I think it's her favorite thing in the whole world.

The scene changes to show D.W. and her classmates on the playground.

D.W.: (zipping down a slide) Whee!

She and several of her classmates are in a ring in class, spinning and singing "Old MacDonald."

D.W. and Classmates: ''With a moo-moo here and a moo-moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo-moo!''

Now they are having a snack.

Ms. Morgan: Another pumpkin muffin, D.W.?

D.W.: Thank you, Ms. Morgan.

Arthur: (voiceover) But I remember one time when D.W. didn't think school was such a great place.

''Scene change, to show D.W.'s school releasing. D.W. heads to the car.''

Mrs. Read: How was school, honey?

D.W.: (getting in) Um...

Mrs. Read: (putting on her seatbelt) Okay!

D.W.: I'm not going back! I'll never go to school again. I can't!

~

Binky: "D.W. All Fired Up"

Arthur: (grabbing D.W., who is chasing after Pal and Toady) D.W.!

D.W.: Hey!

''The kids are at preschool, all talking and chattering happily, decorating paper-bag puppets. One comments "this is fun!"

Ms. Morgan: (clapping her hands) Listen up, boys and girls. I've just been told that soon our class will have a our first fire drill.

D.W.: Wow, our class will have a fire drill.

''She slips into a fantasy sequence. In it, she imagines herself and the rest of the class watching with protective headgear as Ms. Morgan uses a drill shooting flame on a piece of wood. She makes a hobby-horse.''

Class: Wow!

They applaud and the sequence ends.

Emily: (raising her hand) Ms. Morgan, what's a fire drill?

'''Ms. Morgan''': It's a plan we follow to make sure we get out of school safely in case there's a fire.

D.W.: Huh? Fire? Did Ms. Morgan say we're going to have a fire?

Tommy: Yeah. That's why we have to have a fire drill.

Ms. Morgan: Okay, class. First, let's practice lining up quickly and quietly, so you'll be able to hear my instructions. Everybody up.

''All rise. D.W. starts to gather up her stuff.''

Ms. Morgan: Don't take anything with you. (D.W. puts her stuff down and joins the line.)

Timmy: This is so great.

Tommy: Fire drill. Yeah. Fire drill.

''The scene changes to the playground. The kids are shown practicing the technique known as "stop-drop-and-roll."''

Ms. Morgan: (to Timmy) Stop. Drop. And roll. Good. (D.W. approaches for her turn.) Stop. Drop. And roll.

D.W.: Hey, this is fun! What's it for?

Timmy: It's for when your clothes catches on fire.

D.W.: (sitting up) Wait a minute. I'm going to be on fire? When am I going to be on fire?

Tommy: (rolling and chanting meanly) Fire drill, fire drill, fire drill...!

Ms. Morgan: Stop. Drop. And roll. Very good.

D.W.: (running up to her) Ms. Morgan. There's some stuff about this fire drill I'd like to get cleared up.

Ms. Morgan: Don't worry, D.W. We're going to talk about fire safety all week. All your questions will be answered.

''The scene changes to the Read family background. D.W. is staring nervously into the flames of the barbecue grill that Mr. Read is tending. Arthur approaches with pitchers of lemonade. Scary music plays as D.W. imagines one of the flames becoming a fiery monster and laughing meanly at her. She gaps.''

Arthur: (off-screen) D.W.! D.W.!

D.W.: Huh?

Arthur: (offering her a pitcher) I said, "Do you want lemonade?"

D.W.: Yeah, sure.

He pours her some, but she snatches away the glass and goes back to staring at the flames, causing him to spill some.

Arthur: Hey! (he tries to pour some more, she pulls away) D.W.!

Mrs. Read: (exiting the house) Arthur! Be careful!

Arthur: She keeps moving so I'll spill it and be wet!

D.W.: I didn't do anything.

''Arthur, long-suffering, just rolls his eyes and grumbles at this. D.W. continues to stare at the flames. The scene changes to show her tossing and turning in her bed at night. She stares up at her room's smoke detector. The scene changes to show the Read parents sleeping peacefully in bed. A beeping begins, the sound of the smoke alarm. Both wake with a start.''

Mr. Read: Smoke detector!

Mrs. Read: I think it's coming from D.W.'s room!

Mr. Read: I don't smell smoke! Do you smell smoke?

The tone of the beeping changes.

Mrs. Read: Now it's coming from downstairs!

Arthur: (approaching from behind, sleepy, glasses off) Wha-?

''The beeping ends. D.W. was using a broom to trigger the test on the smoke detector.''

Mr. Read: D.W.! What are you doing?

D.W.: I couldn't sleep, so I'm testing the smoke detectors. The ones in my room and the kitchen work good.

Mrs. Read: (grabbing the broom) That's not a game, D.W. Now, come on honey, back to bed.

''Mr. Read. picks her up.''

Arthur: (at the top of the stairs, now holding Pal) What's happening?

Mrs. Read: (yawns) Go back to sleep.

D.W.: (being placed back in bed) I'm sorry. I was just trying to be helpful.

Mr. Read: (yawns) I know. Go to sleep now.

''But D.W. stares at her room's smoke detector and slips into a fantasy sequence. In the sequence, she wakes up and gasps. The room ripples around her and her door appears impossibly tall. She leaps for the doorknob and manages to open it, then gasps, seeing fire.''

Tommy and Timmy: (dressed as firefighters) Fire drill! Fire drill! Fire drill!

''They walk towards the fire and are covered by smoke. D.W. whirls around, screaming, in a spiral of smoke. Her eyes open with a start and she gasps and looks around the room. She wipes her brow.''

D.W.: Phew!

''That morning, she walks into the kitchen, sits down, and places her head on the table. She looks very tired.''

D.W.: Mommy, I don't feel good. I don't want to go to school today.

Arthur: Mom, she's faking it.

D.W.: She was up all night with the smoke alarms. She can stay home if she needs to.

Arthur: What about me? I was up from the smoke alarms, too. Guess I can't go to school either.

Mrs. Read: Don't you have a math test today?

Arthur: Yeah, but-- oh, alright.

Mrs. Read: (gives him a kiss as he gets up to leave) Good luck on your test.

''The scene changes to show D.W. sitting behind Mrs. Read, who is working on the computer. She's playing with paper dolls and wearing her yellow, purple and green jumpsuit, rather than her normal outfit. Nadine is there.''

Nadine: (looking out the window) I think school's out. Here come the Tibbles.

D.W.: (racing outside) Hey, Tommy! Timmy! So, uh, anything important happen in school today?

Tommy: We colored.

D.W.: And what else? Didn't you do anything... more important?

Tommy: Yeah. We glued some sticks together.

D.W.: What about the fire drill!? Was it today?

Tommy and Timmy: Nope! (They walk away.)

Nadine: (appearing in a flash) I guess you didn't miss the fire drill.

''The scene changes to show the Read family car pulling up at the preschool. Inside...''

D.W.: But, Mom, I can't go to school today either! I'm still sick! Look at my elbow, it's all wrinkly!

Mrs. Read: D.W., you love school. What's wrong? Why do you really not wanna go?

D.W.: I do wanna go. I just don't want to go when there's a stupid fire drill. It's stupid!

Mrs. Read: Fire drills are really important. We have to do them. Do you want me to come in with you for a while?

D.W.: No, that's okay. I'm almost four and a half. I can take care of myself.

Mrs. Read: (holding the door open) That's my big girl. Have a good afternoon! I love you. (She closes the door.)

D.W.: (from the other side) Love you too! (Nadine materializes.) There she goes, the best mother I ever had. I may never see her again.

Nadine: She would have come with you.

D.W.: I don't want to put her through this crazy fire drill stuff. She's too nice.

The scene changes to show pictures of fire safety stuff.

Mrs. Morgan: A wet towel over your head helps protect you. And remember, it's important to stay close to the floor away, from the smoke. Has anyone seen D.W.?

Indeed, D.W. is not among the group of preschoolers sitting there listening attentively to Mrs. Morgan.

Mrs. Morgan: Is she still sick today?

Tommy: She's probably playing hockey!

Mrs. Morgan: (giggles) You mean hooky, Tommy.

Tommy: (pointing at the window, which D.W. is looking in) There she is!

D.W.: Do what you want to the school, but I will not be part of this insanity! You can pass me my juice and cookies through the window.

The scene changes to show Mr. Read removing cookies from an oven.

Mrs. Read: (off-screen) And I think she's really afraid. Ms. Morgan said she had a tough time getting her back in the classroom.

Mr. Read: (turning to her) Fire drills, huh? You know, there might be something we can do to help. (blows on cookie and starts eating it) I've got an idea.

''The scene changes. Mr. and Mrs. Read and Arthur are leading D.W. into the kitchen, her eyes covered.''

Mr. Read: Keep 'em closed... Okay, you can open them!

D.W.: Ooh, a red hat!

''It's a firefighter's hat with "DW" in yellow letters. There's also a whistle.''

D.W.: Is it for me?

Mr. Read: Yup! It's a fireman's hat and I hereby appoint you the official fire warden of the Read house. (He puts the hat on her.)

D.W.: (adjusting the hat) I'm a warden now? Great! (points at Arthur) Back in your cell!

Arthur: It's not that type of warden, D.W.

''A montage sequence. A map of the household is laid out on the table. D.W. leads the family down the stairs. Mrs. Read is carrying Baby Kate, the first time she's been seen all episode.''

D.W.: No talking! Remain calm! Faster, people, there's a fire in here!

The family rushes out of the house.

D.W.: (checking stopwatch) What's it say?

Arthur: (panting) Three minutes, nine seconds.

D.W.: Not bad! But we've got to get it down to fifty-eight seconds!

''She walks away and the others groan in unison, including Kate. Mr. Read installs a ladder out of D.W.'s window. D.W. shouts encouragement to Nadine from below.''

D.W.: Come on, Nadine! You can do it! Just a little bit farther!

''Arthur stares at the apparently-empty ladder. The scene changes to show the Reads crawling, as if escaping smoke...''

Kate: Da-dood, da-dood, da-dood...

''The sequence ends. D.W. is walking downstairs, holding a juice-box, still wearing her hat. She wipes her brow.''

D.W.: Phew. What a day.

''She observes steam coming from under the bathroom door. She gasps and blows her whistle.''

D.W.: Mom! Dad! The bathroom's on fire! The bathroom's on fire!

Arthur: (opening the door, wearing a towel) That's steam! I'm taking a shower! (He closes the door.)

D.W.: (walking downstairs) Oh, that reminds me. Bring out your wet towel! I need it!

''D.W. is now on the couch, wearing the wet towel. Arthur is trying to do homework.''

D.W.: Paper is flammable, Arthur. You should use something else.

Arthur: You can't always wear a wet towel, D.W. You'll catch a cold.

D.W.: (not removing it) Okay.

Arthur: (getting up) You know, I was a little scared of my first fire drill too. But it was okay. Doesn't that make you feel better?

D.W.: (shakes her head) No.

Arthur: Well, they didn't set the school on fire, so you shouldn't be afraid of that.

D.W.: But that was in the olden days when you were in pre-school! Things have changed, Arthur!

''Arthur sighs and rolls his eyes a little. He goes back to doing his homework. D.W. puts the towel back over her head and the scene changes to her belted in the car.''

D.W.: I know it'll be today. I just know it.

Mrs. Read: It'll be fine, D.W. Just like the fire drills we did at home.

D.W.: (downcast) Yeah. I know.

''The froggy clock on the wall shows the time is 1:25. D.W. stares and scribbles. It's 1:40. She plays with clay and time continues to tick.''

D.W.: Boy, I sure wish I could tell time. (asks Emily) Hey. What's that clock say? Is it time to go home?

Emily: I don't know. You wanna help me build a castle?

D.W.: Okay. (So they do, and time passes.) Hey, maybe it's not gonna happen today.

Emily: What's not gonna happen?

''A loud buzzing alarm begins and Emily gasps. Everyone does.''

Mrs. Morgan: (getting up) It's a fire drill. You know what to do. Everyone, line up.

Tommy and Timmy: (panicking) Fire drill! Fire drill! Fire drill!

They get up, race around and bump into each other.

D.W.: Come on, guys. Get in front of me. (points to Emily, who is grabbing blocks) We're not supposed to take anything with us.

''Emily drops the blocks and all exit. As they continue towards the door, D.W. imagines it as if it's getting further and further away with each step.''

D.W.: I don't see any fire yet.

Emily: My crayons are going to melt.

James: I have to go to the bathroom!

Kid: (off-screen) Ms. Morgan, wait!

Sarah: (stopping) My shoelace is undone! (She gets knocked down by Timmy.)

Nadine: (materializing) Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

D.W.: I don't know. Maybe both.

Tommy: (clutching at his red tie) Smoke! I smell smoke! I can't breathe!

D.W.: There's no smoke! Just relax, Tommy. We're almost out.

''The group exits the pre-school and the show's standard triumphant fanfare music plays. D.W. stands by herself and breathes a sigh of relief.''

D.W.: Phew.

The scene changes to show the class lined up, Nadine at the end.

Ms. Morgan: Good work, class. You've just completed your first fire drill.

D.W.: You mean that's it? It's over? That was a fire drill? It wasn't bad.

Nadine: Speak for yourself.

Tommy is with Ms. Morgan and hyperventilating.

Ms. Morgan: Deep breaths, Tommy. Deep breaths. (He takes deep breaths.)

D.W.: (approaching) Ms. Morgan, are we going to have any more fire drills?

Ms. Morgan: (leading the class in) How 'bout a tidal wave drill? I've seen some pretty big waves on Bear Lake! Or volcano drills. We have to be ready for anything, you know. What about a sudden-loss-of-gravity drill?

''Back at home, Mr. Read is serving cookies to Arthur. D.W. walks in.''

D.W.: How did it go, D.W.?

Arthur: Are you okay?

D.W.: Of course, I'm okay. It was just a fire drill. (walks away from him) Can I have a cookie?

As the group looks over, pleased but a bit surprised, D.W. bites into a cookie with red chips and smiles.