Prunella Packs it In/Transcript

Prunella Packs It In

Introduction
In her fantasy Prunella walks through a stone hall carrying a torch.

Prunella: Grizelda the Fearless knew that the magic chalice lay hidden nearby but first, she had to sneak past the dreaded three-headed dog of Doogenkirk. Luckily, it was asleep. So all Grizelda had to do was tiptoe by in utter silence. ''Prunella sneaks past the dog and up a stairway. A small stone falls down''. Oops! ''The stone hits a shield on a wall with a loud gong. The dog wakes up and chases Prunella up a spiral staircase. On the upper floor she bangs on a door''. Lady Pinfore, Lady Pinfore, let me in! I beseech thee!

''The fantasy ends. Rubella opens the door holding a book. Prunella’s torch is a plunger and the three headed dog is a stuffed toy dog.''

Rubella: What?!

Prunella: Your Ladyship, you must grant me shelter. The three-headed dog of Doogenkirk is right behind me!

Rubella: I can't play right now, I'm studying for a test.

Prunella: How could the threat of a mere test compare with being savaged by the...?

Rubella: It's not just a test, Pruny, it's the college exam, and it's much much scarier than any three-headed dog, so keep it down. ''She closes the door. Prunella picks up the dog.''

Prunella: Don't worry, boy. I still think you're terrifying.

Title Card: Fortune Teller
''Brain serves Muffy in his parents’ ice-cream shop. Prunella comes in.''

Prunella: Hey, Brain. One Magical Mystery Sundae, please. to Muffy:  Do you want to come over and fight the three-headed dog of Doogenkirk with me?

Muffy: Sorry, I have tap class. Besides, isn’t hat something you do with Rubella?

Prunella: She's too busy studying for some silly test. Brain hands Muffy two ice-cream cones.

Brain: You mean the college exam? That is a big test. It's what colleges look at when they decide whether or not to take you.

Prunella: There’s a single exam that gets you into college?

Muffy: If there is, Daddy must have gotten an A+. He went to Ivy University, and that's the best college there is.

Brain: The college exam isn't graded with a letter, Muffy. They’re graded with numbers.

Muffy: Oh. Then I guess he got a million.

Prunella: But what if you don't do well on exams?

Brain: Colleges also look at your grades. So, if you're a good student, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Prunella: What if you're an okay student?

Muffy: Don't worry. There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you. ''She walks out. Brain serves Prunella her sundae.''

Brain: Do you want gummy newts in that?

Prunella: Actually...I've lost my appetite. ''She walks out. Brain drops the newt on the sundae.''

#

''Prunella lies in bed at night. She hears Muffy’s voice.''

Muffy: 'There are a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there’s at least one that will take you. ...will take you...'

''In her dream attends a college graduation ceremony with her mother and Mr. Haney. She gets up ''

Dean Pickles: Prunella Deegan, for successfully completing four years of pie-throwing and batball, I, Dean Pickles, of the Whoop-Dee-Doo College for clowns, present you this non-refundable diploma. Congratulations. He gives Prunella a diploma and shakes her hand with a hand buzzer.

Prunella: Argh!

Audience: (laugh)    Prunella wakes up.

Prunella: Augh!!

#

''In the library Prunella brings a large pile of books to the checkout counter. Muffy arrives with Bailey.''

Muffy: You’re not checking out all the Henry Skreever books, are you? I've reserved “The Chalice Of Malice”.

Prunella: These are text books. Quantum physics, surrealist poetry, the Crimean War...

Muffy: Since when are you interested in that stuff?

Prunella: Since I decided I don't want to go to Clown College.

Muffy: Are you still worried about that? Look, there are other ways to get in besides good grades and tests. They also want people who are well-rounded.

Prunella: But I'm thin as a rail!

Muffy: No, silly. Well-rounded means having lots of fascinating interests and activities.

Prunella: Does being a Henry Skreever fan count?

Muffy: Uh...no. They have to be things that make you seem exciting, like playing the ukulele or delivering turkeys to orphans.

Prunella: What do you do?

Muffy: I folk dance, play the okarina, and I come here every week and read to little kids. A group of preschoolers is waiting.

Prunella: How do you have time to do all that?

Muffy: When you really care about stuff, Prunella, you just find the time. ''Muffy takes an “I Ching, You Ching” magazine and sits down on a couch. Bailey starts reading to the preschoolers.''

Bailey: “Chapter One. A funny face peered at me through the gate. It was none other than my pet goat."       Miss Turner has checked out all the books and put them in abox.

Prunella: I don’t think I’m gonna need these, Miss Turner.

#

''Prunella lies on her bed and reads the Cultural Center’s catalogue. Marina sits beside her and does string figures.''

Prunella: Oh, this one sounds great. "Kendo, the ancient art of Japanese sword fighting”.

Marina: You're only nine! You don’t have to worry about college yet.

Prunella: Easy for you to say, you get straight A's. Oh! How about "Artisanal cheese making?" Do you think colleges would like that?

Marina: But you don't even like cheese.

Prunella: Yeah, but this is cheese making, not cheese eating. What about, "Assembling your own V8 engine"? I bet there are no other nine-year-olds taking that.

Marina: I think they should at least be things you actually want to do.

Prunella: Well, unfortunately, the Cultural Center isn't offering any classes in Fortune Telling. "How to speak useful Czech." That sounds... useful. Now all I have to do is get my mum to sign me up. This is going to be great.

#

''Prunella is sitting cross-legged with other students in a room in the Elwood City Cultural Center. She is the only child.''

Sensei: Now breathe into your core. Feel the air. Hold it... and release. Once again... breathe in.  Prunella looks around and addresses the man next to her.

Prunella: Excuse me. I thought this was Japanese sword fighting? Where are the swords?

Man: We don't get swords till week five. Until then, it's just breathing. Prunella walks out the door.

Sensei: ...Expelling...

#

In the Cultural Center corridor Prunella meets Bailey who is dressed as a cook.

Prunella: Hi, Bailey. What are you doing here?

Bailey: Miss Muffy and I are enrolled in a puff pastry seminar. He puts on his chef’s hat.

Prunella: Do you know where room three-twelve is? I'm late for my “Useful Czech Language” class.

Bailey: Straight down the hall, on the left. They part ways.

#

''Prunella opens a door to a room in which a teacher is writing a Czech sentence on the blackboard using phonetic spelling. There is only one student.''

Czech Teacher: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu.“  "Our product is selling very well in the U.S. market."

Czech Student: „Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém...“ Prunella closes the door from the outside.

#

''Prunella sits on a bench in the park. Marina juggles a soccer ball with a bell inside, so she can hear it.''

Prunella: And the cheese making course made me nauseous so I had to quit that, too. But I’m not giving up. I signed up for three more classes. Do you think colleges want students who know how to yodel?

Marina: Beats me. What about volunteer work? If you're gonna run around doing things you don't like you might as well be helping someone.

Prunella: That’s a great idea!

Marina: My dad helps out at the Elwood City Wildlife Center. I could ask if he knows of anything.

Prunella: Perfect! I love animals.

Marina: So can we play some soccer now? ''Prunella gets up. Marina passes the ball to her.''

Prunella: Can’t. I’m late for scuba. Call me. She walks away.

#

''Prunella stands on the sidewalk by the park dressed as a grebe and holding up an “I love grebes” sign. People ignore her.''

Prunella: Save the pie-billed grebe! Donate now and get a "I Honk for Grebes" bumper sticker! Oh...! ''She sits down on a bench and drinks some water. She throws the empty bottle in the trash.''

Somebody: Hey, Grebe! That goes in recycling!

Prunella: Oh... Sorry! As she takes the bottle back out she is attacked by a pigeon.    Argh! Get away! Ugh, get away! Get away!

#

Prunella leans against her locker at school and sleeps.

Prunella: (snores)    Mr. Ratburn comes.

Mr. Ratburn: Prunella?     Prunella does flamenco moves.

Prunella: Olé! Arriba! Chico! Oh, sorry...I thought I was in flamenco class for a second.

Mr. Ratburn: I was wondering if you'd be willing to help paint the set of the school play? You did such a wonderful job last year.

Prunella: Sure! That was so much fun!

Mr. Ratburn: We're doing Chekhov's “The Cherry Orchard” and I’m thinking of creating an entire forest as a backdrop.

Prunella: Oh, with tons of cherry blossoms and... Oh, wait... Would it take a lot of time?

Mr. Ratburn: Just an hour after school, and maybe a few hours on the weekend.

Prunella: I don't think I can do it, Mr Ratburn. I just don't have time.

Mr. Ratburn: You don't have to make a decision right away. Why don't you think about it? He walks away.

Prunella: (sighs)    She opens her locker and lots of sport equipment falls out.    Argh! Grrr!

#

In her room Prunella checks her very thick appointment book.

Prunella: Okay, I have to be at the Senior Center at six to help with bingo, but Amish Quilt Design has moved to four-fifteen, so that means... I have a whole twenty minutes all to myself! Aah…   She drops on her bed.

In her dream Prunella carries a backpack full of equipment.

Prunella: Must...get to...next appointment...

Sensei: You're not breathing right. Here's some extra air. He gives her a gas cylinder.

Prunella: Ugh!

Czech Teacher: Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu. He puts a couple of books on top of the gas cylinder.

Prunella: No more! I can't carry it all! The kendo sensei, a cook with a cheese and several grebes come running at her.

Sensei: Breathe! Breathe!

Prunella: Aaah! ''She runs away. The others chase her.''

Sensei: Breathe! Breathe! Breathe in!

Czech Teacher: Náš výrobek se prodává velmi dobře na americkém trhu!

''Prunella runs into the Cultural Center. She blocks the door with the gas cylinder.''

Prunella: Phew! Hh! ''She is now in a large room full of students sitting at desks. Rubella walks up to her.''

Rubella: Pruny, you're late for the college exam!

Prunella: This isn't my bouzouki class?

Rubella: Face it, you were no good at all those other things, you’d better just hope you do well on this. ''She hands Prunella a stack of papers labelled “College Exam”. Prunella sits down at a desk.''

Prunella: “Fish is to bicycle as fusilli is to 'blank'?!"     Dean Pickles puts a balloon animal on her desk.

Dean Pickles: Don't worry, we'll always have a spot for you.

Prunella: No-o-o-o-o-o!

#

''An alarm clock sounds the next morning. Prunella wakes up, still in her street clothes. She turns off the alarm.''

Prunella: Hh! Eight in the morning! I slept through all my appointments! Argh! She lies back down.

#

Prunella and Marina sit in the Sugar Bowl.

Prunella: So I quit everything.

Marina: Everything?

Prunella: Yep. I guess I better get used to the idea of Clown College.

Marina: Look at the bright side. Now you have time to do things you really like.

Prunella: You're right. From now on, I'm just living for today. Marina stands up and raises her cane.

Marina: Then we must not tarry, o powerful wizard, the three-headed dog of Doogenkirk is still out there!

Prunella: And Lord Moldywart is growing more powerful. To the castle! Wait... Could we go to the castle a little later? There's something I wanna do first.

#

''Mr. Ratburn watches Prunella and Muffy paint the backdrop for “The Cherry Orchard”. Fern, Binky, George and Sue Ellen are also helping.''

Mr. Ratburn: Ah, these trees really give the sense of wistfulness that pervades “The Cherry Orchard”. Excellent work, Prunella.

Prunella: Thanks. Too bad painting sets won't get me into college.

Mr. Ratburn: Why not? Set design is a well-respected profession. There are entire schools devoted to it. Not that you should be worrying about college now. You're only in fourth grade. He leaves.

Muffy: Agh! I'm covered in paint!

Prunella: You didn't tell me this counts.

Muffy: Counts for what?

Prunella: College! Painting sets is a fascinating activity that makes me well-rounded.

Muffy: No, it doesn't.

Prunella: Does too! Mr. Crosswire comes in.

Mr. Crosswire: Hi, Muffin. Bailey had some sort of pastry class to go to so I'm your ride home today.

Muffy: Daddy, tell Prunella that painting is just a hobby and would never in a million years get you into Ivy University.

Mr. Crosswire: I wouldn't know. I never went to college.

Muffy: Hh! But you have that framed diploma in your office!

Mr. Crosswire: Oh, that's just an honorary degree. They gave it to me when I donated the library. Beautifu set! Well, come on, Pookums, the car's outside. He walks away.

Prunella: Don't worry, Muffy, there's a zillion colleges out there. I'm sure there must be at least one that’ll take you!

Muffy: Huh! She walks away.

Prunella: That tree could use more blossoms, George. Binky, put a few clouds up there. But use a sponge, it's a softer effect. Come on, people, let's make this forest come alive!