And Now Let's Talk to Some Kids/Transcript

Introduction
Arthur is sitting in class.

Arthur: Have you ever noticed how people's personalities fit them perfectly?

Mr. Ratburn: We need more homework and quizzes. Buster is reading a joke book.

Buster: (laughs)  I love jokes! They're funny!

Francine: to Muffy:  No, I'm not going to the mall. I'm playing soccer. And so are you.

Muffy: Oh, you are so rude!

Arthur: Now imagine if they had different personalities. They's seem really weird!

Mr. Ratburn (Buster's voice): And for tonight's homework, everyone find one really funny joke and read it in class tomorrow. If I laugh, you get an A.  (laughs)

Francine: No, I'm not going to the mall. I'm playing soccer... and so are you.

Binky (Muffy's voice): Oh, you are so rude! I'd rather go to the mall. They had the cutest sneakers on sale.

''Pal is asleep on Arthur's desk where Arthur is daydreaming instead of doing homework. Pal sits up.''

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): Arthur!

Arthur: Aaagh!

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): Are you thinking about math or daydreaming? Seven times three is not twenty-eight, it's twenty-one. Seven times one is seven. Seven times two is fourteen. Seven times three...

Arthur: Okay, okay. See how weird that would be? It's so much better when people act like themselves. Well, most of the time.

Pal (Mr. Read's voice): And after you do your homework I want you to scratch me behind the ears.

Title Card: Stampede
Arthur, Buster and D.W. watch “The Magic Toolbox” at the Reads’ house.

Theme Tune (on TV): “There's a level and a rule and keys for all the padlocks. Tools don't have to go to school. They learn in the magic toolbox!”

Arthur: This is a great show. What do you think Sammy Screwdriver's really like?

Buster: I like Newt the Nut better. He’s screwy.

D.W.: I like the part where real kids like us talk. And it’s coming on, so be quiet!

On TV the “Let’s Talk to Some Kids” segment begins.

Kids (on TV): And now let’s talk to some kids.

Monkey Boy (on TV): Gravity is the force that makes us stick to the Earth. Without gravity we'd float away.

Aardvark Girl (on TV): Gravity is what makes an apple hit you on your head.

Arthur: I wonder how they choose these kids to be on TV.

Buster: Their parents probably work on the show.

D.W.: Imagine if they picked you! Here's Arthur on TV. ''She imitates glasses with her fingers. '' “My name is Arthur and my dog is named Pal. And blah-dee blah-dee blah! Isn't that interesting?" And here's the audience watching Arthur on TV.    She lies down and pretends to sleep.    (snores)

Buster: (giggles)

Arthur: Very funny, D.W. ''He gives Buster a look. Buster stops giggling.''

Buster: I always think snoring is funny.

#

In class Mr. Ratburn passes out quizzes.

Mr. Ratburn: For this geography quiz, fill in all the country names in the entire world in their proper locations. And, as always, spelling counts. ''Arthur looks at his quiz while Brain starts working on his. Arthur looks over to Mrs. Fink’s class. Mrs. Fink hold up a globe.''

Mrs. Fink: Who can tell me where this is? Kenny?

Kenny: Um, Earth?

Mrs. Fink: That's right. Very good. Cookies for everybody!

Mrs. Fink’s class: Yay!

Arthur: (sighs)    Mr. Haney enters Mr. Ratburn’s class.

Mr. Haney: I'm so sorry to interrupt a quiz, (chuckles)  but I have exciting news. The TV show “Magic Toolbox” is coming here to make a “Let's Talk To Some Kids” segment!

Class: Wow!

Mr. Haney: And because Mr. Ratburn's class is the hardest working in the school, you've been chosen!

Class: (chatter)

Buster: My Mom said working hard in class would pay off, but I didn’t think so soon.

#

''In the school playground. Arthur and Brain ride the seesaw. Francine and Sue Ellen are on the swings.''

Arthur: I can't believe we're all gonna be on TV!

Francine: Oh, I don’t know. The camera probably won't be able to resist focusing on me. They'll put me on the show for sure!

''In her imagination she jumps out of a toolbox dressed as a screw. ''

TV Announcer: Here's the new star of Magic Toolbox: Francine Frensky.

''The fantasy ends. Francine runs off.''

Francine: I'd better prepare for this. See ya!

Sue Ellen: Do you think Francine will get all the attention? TV shows need action. ''She sees herself practicing with a bō staff and doing karate moves. Hi! Ya! Ah aah! She breaks the camera.''

Cameraman: Ow!

Sue Ellen: Ooo-ya! ''The fantasy ends. ''I've gotta go too. Bye! She runs off.

Arthur: What would you practice to do on TV?

Brain: I won't even think about it. I'm working on a project for the science honor roll. That’s more important to me.

Arthur: I'm not thinking about it either. ''He sees himself playing a grand piano inside a toolbox. ''Well, see ya! ''He runs off. Brain's end of the seesaw comes down.''

Brain: Ah!  Ow! Gravity is the only important scientific principle that can really hurt your backside.

#

Arthur is practicing the piano while Buster reads jokes from a book.

Buster: What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? Time to get a new watch! Thank you! Thank you! D.W. comes in.

D.W.: Buster. What are you doing?

Buster: Practicing to be on TV. Maybe I'll get my own show.

D.W.: You on TV?

In her imagination she is sitting on the floor in front of the TV, just as she does at the end of the “Arthur” theme song.

Buster: Hey, D.W.  ''Buster sits in the TV screen in the “Arthur” logo. The show's name is now “Buster”.''

D.W.: Hey!

Buster: Whoa. Instead of falling backwards he falls out of the TV into the room.

D.W.: I knew it! I knew there were little people in the TV. Mom!

The fantasy ends.

Buster: If I become famous, you can be on TV with me.

D.W.: No, thanks. You'd try to make me look like I'm a brat or something.  She walks out.

#
Arthur and Buster arrive at the school.

Buster: There's footprints in the peanut butter. (laughs)  Sue Ellen walks by doing karate moves.

Sue Ellen: Hee-yah! Fern walks by reading from a book.

Fern: "There is no joy in Mudville..." Brain arrives.

Brain: Hi, guys.

Francine: Arthur says you're not gonna prepare anything for TV.

Brain: No. I'm rather busy working on my science project about nanoseconds.

Francine: Oh, yawn. Like that's as important as "The Magic Toolbox".

Fern: This could be a big opportunity, Brain.

Francine: He's just afraid he'd be boring. What would he do on TV anyway? Think?

The “Arthur” theme song plays with Brain walking down the street instead of Arthur.

Theme Song: "Every day when you're walking down the street... you stop and think." ''Brain stops and thinks. ''

Brain: Hm. Hm. He sits down on the curb.   Hm.

The “Brain Swims” Title Card is shown.

D.W. (Narrator): Brain's New Puppy.

On the “Brain” show Brain is sitting on his bed.

Brain: Mom! Dad! I'm thinking about getting a new puppy. Hm. Hm. Hm.

Mr. Powers: Hm.

Mrs. Powers: Hm.

The fantasy ends.

Francine: Boy, that would be entertaining! I'm being sarcastic.

Brain: Being on TV just isn't all that important to me. He walks into the school.

Arthur: The Brain really doesn't care about being on TV.

Francine: Are you kidding? This is the saddest thing I ever saw. Including me not getting a puppy last Christmas!

Arthur+Buster: Huh?

Francine: He's obviously afraid. We have to help him realize that he's good at things he could do on TV.

Arthur: Really?

Francine: Believe me. I know people. Behind all that confidence he's secretly shy.

#
Arthur and Francine, both looking like they are about seventy years old, sit on a hovering couch.

Arthur: Didn't you once say Brain would never get on TV? They've got a whole channel for him!

Francine: Channel-shmannel. He still never got to be on “The Magic Toolbox” like us. ''She gets an old video cassette off a shelf and blows the dust off it. ''Hh!

Arthur: (coughs)

Francine: Wanna watch it? Is till got the tape. ''She inserts the cassette in a slot in the sofa. ''Look, there's me!

Arthur: That's Muffy!

Francine: Oh, yeah. And there's Buster Baxter. Whatever happened to him? Remember the song?

Arthur: Who could forget it?

Arthur+Francine: (sing:) “There's a level and a rule and a key for all the padlocks. Tools don't have to go to school. They learn in the magic toolbox! “ The camera zooms back.