Binky Goes Nuts/Transcript

Introduction
An orange butterfly flies on the school ground where Muffy is sunning herself.

Muffy: ( Muffy sighs ) Perfect tanning weather. The butterfly lands on her nose. Ooh! Shoo! Shoo! She takes out a voice recorder. Note to self: orange is the new black. Must-have item for summer, orange bikini with matching flip-flops.

The butterfly lands on a ball that Buster and Brain are playing with.

Buster: Hey, what a cool butterfly!

Brain: I don't believe it! It's Speyeria cybele, commonly known as the great spangled fritillary. It's very rare. ( light smack ) ( smack )

''First Brain then Buster get hit by spitballs. Binky and Molly are hiding behind the jungle gym.''

Buster: Hey!

Binky+Molly: (both laughing)

Binky: They never knew what hit 'em.

The butterfly lands on his arm.

Molly: Stay still. Let me see if I can hit it.

Binky: No way! Leave it alone. Hitting kids with spitballs is one thing, but butterflies are harmless, beautiful creatures that... ''He begins rubbing the place where the butterfly sat. It looks red and swollen.'' Hey, what's going on? I'm all itchy.

Molly: We should go to the nurse-- now.

She leaves with Binky.

Buster: I didn't think butterflies could bite.

Brain: They can't. (grunting)

Title Card: Binky Blows Bubble
At the hospital Binky is being examined by Dr. Kingsbury.

Binky: It was that butterfly. That's when I started feeling itchy.

Dr. Kingsbury: No, Binky, you're not allergic to butterflies. You're also not allergic to pet dander or tree pollen. If you were, you'd see a red bump in one of these circles.

Binky has a prick test on his arm.

Binky: Well, that's a relief. It'd really stink if I couldn't pet pets or climb trees.

Dr. Kingsbury: But your blood did test positive for an allergy to peanuts.

Mrs. Barnes: Oh, my!

Binky: Mom, relax. I don't even like peanuts that much.

Mrs. Barnes: Peanut allergies can be quite serious, Binky. I'm a nurse, I've seen anaphylaxis before.

Binky: Who's Anna Phylaxis? Is she at my school?

Dr. Kingsbury: Anaphylaxis is a reaction you could get if you eat peanuts again. Instead of just a rash, it could be hard to swallow, or even breathe. We don't want that happening. That's why I want you to read these.

He hands Binky brochures about peanut allergy.

Binky: Great. More homework.

Dr. Kingsbury: The more you learn about your allergy, the easier it'll be to cope with.

Binky: (moans)

***

In the supermarket, Mrs. Barnes reads the ingredients on a can of “Bustin Bionic 5 Alarm Chili” and puts the can back into the shelf.

Binky: Mom, it's just chili.

Mrs. Barnes: I know, but it has peanut oil in it, see? She shows him the back of the can. You have to look at the ingredients, Binky. Peanuts and peanut products are in all sorts of foods.

Binky: Okay, okay. How about Trim Tim's Beef Jerky?

Mrs. Barnes: Read the label.

Binky: Yuck.

Mrs. Barnes: Peanuts?

Binky: No. Something called beef lips.

***

Mrs. Barnes serves dinner at home.

Mrs. Barnes: Binky, dinner!

Binky comes into the room.

Binky: What's this? It's Friday night. We always order Chinese on Friday night.

Mrs. Barnes: I'm sorry, honey, but a lot of Chinese food is cooked with peanut oil.

Binky: But I used to be able to eat it. What about egg rolls? Those are made with eggs, right?

Mrs. Barnes: It's better to be safe than sorry. Here, have a chicken cutlet. You love chicken cutlets.

Binky: I don't want a cutlet! I want an egg roll. Oh, all right. I'll have a cutlet. He starts eating. Mmm, not bad. Much better than the ones they make at school.

Mrs. Barnes: That reminds me. I have to make sure they have a special peanut-free table for you at the cafeteria.

Binky: (coughs) A special table?! I can't even sit with my friends? That's it! He stands up, but comes back to get his food. I'm going to bed.

***

''That night, Binky lies in bed. There are brochures about allergies on the floor.''

In his dream, he tries to get a piece of lasagna in the cafeteria, but Mrs. MacGrady pushes his hand away with a ladle.

Mrs. MacGrady: Sorry, Binky, that's off limits. The cook who prepared it once stepped on a peanut. ''Binky tries to take a hamburger. Mrs. MacGrady pulls a switch and a metal door shuts in front of the hamburgers.'' Watch it, sonny. The guy who flipped that burger, his middle name is Peanut. Binky looks at a pie. Don't even think about the pie. The eggs in that meringue were from a chicken that once dreamt of a dancing peanut in a bowler hat.

Binky: But I'm hungry!

Mrs. MacGrady pulls Binky past the other kids’ tables to a roped-off table with three kids sitting at it.

Mrs. MacGrady: Now don't you worry. We've fixed up something special for you at the special table.

One kid wears a space suit and drinks through a straw.

Mrs. MacGrady: That's Adam. He's allergic to Formica. The cafeteria is a tough place for him.

Adam: (belches)

His helmet fills with green gas.

Mrs. MacGrady: But he can't get enough of our homemade spinach juice. That's Ron and Don. They're allergic to their hands, and all utensils, plastic and metal. The boys wave at Binky, then resume eating by dipping their faces in a trough. And this is where you'll sit. Enjoy your Brussels sprouts. She uncovers a plate. You'll get them every day for the rest of your life.

Binky: No...!

''The dream ends. Binky wakes with a start.''

Binky: (gasps)

***

Binky hesitantly walks into the kitchen.

Mrs. Barnes: Good morning. I have a surprise for you.

Binky: Is it Brussels sprouts?

He looks horrified.

Mrs. Barnes: No. It's your own cell phone. This way, you can call me if you feel an allergic reaction. Let's see if it works.

''The cell phone rings. Mrs. Barnes calls from the family phone.''

Binky: Hello?

Mrs. Barnes: Hi! Can you hear me, loud and clear?

Binky: Well, yeah. We are in the same room.

Mrs. Barnes: Oh, right. Okay. Bye.

Binky: Bye. Cool. Thanks. I'm gonna go to the candy store.

Mrs. Barnes: I...I'll come with you.

Binky: Mom! I'm almost ten years old. I can go to the candy store by myself. She smiles. I'll read the labels, I promise.

She looks worried.

***

Binky is in a candy store talking to his mother on the phone.

Binky: I haven't decided yet. No, I'm not going to get peanut brittle. I don't even like it! Okay, bye.

Jenna appears behind a counter.

Jenna: How about Gummi Slugs? There are no peanuts in those.

She throws him a bag.

Binky: I don't like Gummi Slugs. They're too gummy, and how do you know about...

He throws the bag back.

Jenna: Your allergy? Your mom sent an email to all the parents in class.

Binky: She did?

He facepalms.

Jenna: It's no big deal. My mom did the same thing when we found out I was allergic to milk.

Binky: Milk, huh? Wow! That's terrible. Milk is in everything.

Jenna: Tell me about it. Ice-cream, chocolate, even cheese. But you get used to it. There's a really good ice-cream made from rice milk.

Binky: How'd you find that out?

Jenna: Research. Binky's cellphone rings. And the more you know, the less your parents bug you.

Binky: into the phone: Cashews. I'm buying cashews.

Jenna: Come on, I'll show you the allergy section in the library.

***

Jenna and Binky are at a table in the library.

Jenna: This one is really good at explaining how all allergies work, and it's got lots of pictures.

''Binky wanders off and sees a Bionic Bunny comic. He looks around and takes it.''

''A little while later, Jenna and Binky are both reading. Binky is also eating cashews and he has put the comic inside his book. The book shows Bionic Bunny strapped to a table while a robot with a lobster claw empties a salt shaker over him.''

Condimentor (in comic): And with Bionic Bunny out of the way, I, Condimentor, will rule the world! (laughs maniacally) Activate the giant seasoner!

Bionic Bunny (in comic): No! Not sodium chloride. Anything but that!

Binky starts scratching and rubbing his throat.

Binky: (gulping) Jenna. My throat feels kinda funny.

''He pulls back his shirt. There is a rash on his arm.''

Jenna: Quick! Call your mom!

***

A while later Binky and his mom come out of the hospital and walk to their car.

Binky: I feel much better. That shot Dr. Kingsbury gave me really worked.

Mrs. Barnes: I should never have let you eat those cashews. What was I thinking?

Binky: But I'm not even allergic to cashews.

Mrs. Barnes: The ones you bought were probably processed in a factory that handles peanuts too.

They get into the car.

Binky: Are you okay, Mom?

Mrs. Barnes: I'm just worried. That's all.

She starts the car.

***

That evening, Binky reads the brochures in bed until he falls asleep.

In his dream he is a large engine room and stuck to a slice of jelly toast.

Binky: Huh? Where am I? (moans) I can't move!

Dr. Legume: That's because you're stuck to my super-adhesive grape jelly! Thought you could live without my products, huh, Binky Barnes? We'll just see about that! Anna Phylaxis, begin phase two!

A rat woman pulls a lever.

Anna Phylaxis: Yes, Dr. Legume!

Dr. Legume: (laughs maniacally)

''A robot arm holding a butter knife comes out of the ceiling put peanut butter from a giant jar on another slice of bread. The slice comes down on Binky.''

Binky: (gasps) Peanut butter? No, stop. Anything but that! Help! (screams) ''The slice stops. A door opens and Bionic Bunny appears.'' It's...

Dr. Legume+Anna Phylaxis: Bionic Bunny!

Bionic Bunny: Your sandwich days are over, Dr. Legume.

Binky: Help!

''The slice comes down again. At the last moment, Bionic Bunny takes it away, wraps it around the two villains and fastens it with string.''

Bionic Bunny: I suggest you get into wraps!

Dr. Legume+Anna Phylaxis: (Dr. Legume and Anna screaming)

Bionic Bunny takes Binky off the jelly slice and flies with him through the air.

Binky: I don't know what would have happened if that bread had touched me. I'm allergic to peanuts.

Bionic Bunny: Well, if it's anything like my allergic reaction to sodium chloride, it wouldn't have been pretty.

Binky: What is sodium chloride anyway?

Bionic Bunny: Salt. One single grain, and I lose my superpowers. I also retain water and get grouchy. ''He drops Binky off in his room. Bionic Bunny’s cell phone rings. He looks at the display.'' Someone named Jenna is being held captive by the evil lord Bovina. I've got to save her. Remember, Binky, you're tougher than this allergy. Let it know who's in charge!

He flies off.

''The dream ends. Binky wakes smiling and gets out of bed.''

***

Binky opens a food cupboard in the kitchen and checks the ingredients on all items inside.

Mrs. Barnes: Binky?

Binky: Morning, Mom. I found some peanut stuff we missed when we were cleaning out the cabinets. I'm just gonna take this to the trash.

***

''Binky sits at a special table in the cafeteria with Molly and two other kids. He shows an injector stick.''

Binky: It's a medicine auto-injector. If I start feeling sick, one shot of this and I'm a-okay. I keep it right here in my new Bionic Bunny belt pack.

''He puts the stick in the pack. Buster approaches.''

Buster: Hey, Binky. Can I see it?

Molly: Hold it right there. You packing peanuts, long-ears?

Buster: No, I haven't had a peanut all day. I swear!

Molly tastes Buster's soup and looks in his sandwich.

Molly: He's clean. You, sit here!

Binky’s phone rings.

Binky: Hi, mom. Yeah, I'm at the special table. How's the soup?! Hey, how did you know? He sees his mom waving from the window. Mom? What are you doing here?

Mrs. Barnes: Oh, I was... (clears throat) in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by and make sure you had everything you needed.

Binky: I’ve got everything under control, Mom. Really.

Mrs. Barnes: I know you do. It's just that... (sighs) Binky is about to bite into a sandwich. What's that?! That's not peanut butter, is it?

Binky: It's cream cheese and jelly, remember? You made it for me. He takes a bite. And it's delicious.

'''Binky+Mrs. Barnes:''' (laugh)

***

''That night, Binky leads his parents down a street. The parents have their eyes closed.''

Binky: A little bit further. A few more steps. Okay, you can open your eyes now. They are standing in front of the “Golden Panda Chinese Restaurant”. I found it on the internet. They cook for people with peanut allergies. They use special pans and everything. Can we please eat here?

Mrs. Barnes: Well, it is Friday night.

Binky: Yes. And I'm having three egg rolls.