Brain's Brain/Transcript

Arthur and Buster stand in Buster’s room.

Arthur: Today's episode is all about the brain.

Brain steps out of Buster’s closet.

Brain: Hi, everyone. Welcome to my show.

Arthur slams the door.

Brain: Hey!

Arthur: Not that Brain. This brain.

He holds a model of a human brain.

Arthur: Did you know that our brain is one of the most complex things in the entire known universe?

Brain: Each brain is made up of lots of teeny tiny cells called neurons.

Arthur: I wonder how many neurons there are in a human brain?

Brain (in closet): Over 80 billion. Can I come out now?

Arthur: Wow! 80 billion?

''A banana floats by. ''

Arthur: One of the most amazing things about the brain is how much it can remember.

Buster: Hey, speaking of memory, you owe me 50 cents for that vanilla yoghurt I bought you yesterday.

A sombrero floats by.

Arthur: It was 25 cents and it was a blueberry yoghurt.

A chicken walks through the room.

Buster: It was 50 cents and I distinctly remember it was vanilla.

He is holding a rake.

Arthur: (sighs) We'll talk about it later.

''An umbrella floats by. ''

Arthur: Did you happen to notice the strange things that just appeared in Buster's room?

Buster: There were five of them.

Arthur: How many can you remember?

Buster: We'll check back with you at the end of the show.

Brain stands in the closet.

Brain: I'll tell you what's strange, the amount of dirty socks in here. Eugh!

Title Card: Brain stands on his own brain

''Brain looks into the refrigerator and takes out a carton of eggs. The refrigerator door is plastered with reports with A+ on them.''

Then he boils the eggs.

In his room, he puts on goggles and pours colored fluids in bowls.

He uses tongs to dip in the eggs, then paints on them with a brush.

Brain: Oh, Brain, you've really outdone yourself this time. (mad laugh)

Lightning and thunder.

''Brain walks downstairs with a bowl of painted eggs, each bearing the name of a scientist. In the hallway, he meets his mom.''

Mrs. Powers: What are you doing up? It's past midnight.

Brain: It is? I was so busy preparing for our spring egg hunt, I lost track of time. I'd better get a flashlight.

Mrs. Powers: You can hide the eggs tomorrow morning.

Brain: But the kids are coming at ten. I need time to find super challenging hiding spots.

Mrs. Powers: Tomorrow, Alan.

She leads him back up the stairs.

''The next morning, Brain’s alarm clock shows 9:15. Brain wakes up and sees the time.''

Brain: Ah!

Brain runs through the Powers’ yard and hides eggs.

D.W., Bud and Emily walk to the Powers’ house accompanied by Arthur.

D.W.: It's the toughest egg hunt in all of Elwood City.

Emily: Once he hid an egg inside an orange and the peel wasn't even broken.

D.W.: I only found it because I got hungry.

Bud: Well, this Mr. Brain has finally met his match. I'm the best finder in the whole wide world.

D.W.: Oh, really?

Bud: It's true. Mom says I have a gift. I can even find things before they're lost.

Emily: That doesn't make any sense.

D.W.: Well, I pinkie bet you...

She searches her pockets.

D.W.: ...two paperclips and a marker that smells like strawberries that I find more eggs than you.

Bud: Well, I'll see your two paperclips and a marker that smells like strawberries and raise you a giraffe sticker and a bendy straw.

D.W.: Deal.

They hook pinkies and the kids walk on.

Bud: I can smell those strawberries now.

''Emily, D.W., Bud, the Tibbles and Vicita stand in the Powers’ yard. Brain shows him a picture of all the eggs he has hidden.''

Brain: The theme of this year's egg hunt is... great men and women of science. Every egg has the name of a scientist on it. Whoever finds the most scientist wins… a most egg-celent price. (giggles)

The kids look confused.

Brain: Hm. Give me a break! I woke up late and only had five minutes for puns. Okay, ready, set, go!

''The kids run in all directions. Bud finds James Watt in the drainpipe. Tommy sees Marie Curie under a bush, but Timmy knocks him down.''

Tommy: (grunts)

While both reach for the egg, Vicita picks it up.

D.W. runs towards an egg.

Bud: Sweet sassafras, it's a unicorn.

D.W.: Where?

She stops and Bud runs past her.

Bud: Hgn!

He leaps and gets Jane Goodall.

D.W.: Grrr!

''Shortly afterwards, Bud searches under a tree. D.W. sees Sir Sandford Fleming in the branches and jumps on Bud’s back to reach it.''

Bud: Oof!

D.W.: Thanks!

Bud: Grrr!

A while later, the preschoolers stand in line and Brain checks the eggs against his list.

Brain: Kepler, Niels Bohr and Marie Curie. Vicita has three.

He looks at the things that the Tibbles are holding.

Brain: Those are rocks, not eggs. (sighs)  Tommy and Timmy, zero.

The Tibbles drop the rocks, which fall on their feet.

Timmy+Tommy: Ow!

Bud: I got seven.

D.W.: I got seven, too.

Brain: Well, I guess we have a tie for the win. Wait! Who got Pierre Paul Broca?

The kids exchange looks.

Brain: The 19th-century French doctor instrumental in discovering that different areas of the brain have different functions?

Tommy raises his hand.

Brain: Nice try.

Emily: So, you mean there's still one more egg out there?

D.W.: He's probably buried it.

She searches a bush.

Bud: I bet it's under his sweater. Fork it over!

He pats Brain’s belly.

Brain: Hey! Cut it out. It's not in either of those places. It's... um... it's... Now, where did I put Broca?

He looks at a hole in a tree.

Brain: Was it in that black hole? No, that's where I put Stephen Hawking. For the life of me I can't remember where I put Broca.

''He goes to the house. D.W. and Bud follow him.''

Bud: Think, Mr. Brain, think! There's a marker that smells like strawberries at stake here.

Brain closes the door behind him.

Brain closes the blinds in his room and sits down cross-legged on the floor.

Brain: I'll remember, I just need a little peace and quiet. It's in here somewhere, Brain. I just have to find it.

In a fantasy, he remembers hiding the eggs and holding the Broca one in his hand.

Brain: Broca, Broca. A pioneer in the study of the brain. Hm, where should I... Oh! Ah!  

''He has fallen in a waist-deep hole in the ground. ''

Brain: Huh? I don't remember there being any hole here.

The bottom of the hole gives way and Brain falls through a tunnel.

Brain: Auuugh!

Brain lands on a huge brain.

Brain: Where am I?

He looks around and sees a photograph of his head with an arrow labelled “You are here”.

Brain: "You are here." Hm. I guess I'm inside my own head. And I must be standing on my brain.

Bud: It's gotta be around here somewhere.

D.W.: Let's just start digging.

''Bud and D.W. are about to attack the brain with a shovel and a pickaxe. Brain runs up to them.''

Brain: No, stop! No digging in my brain!

''He grabs Bud’s pickaxe and they struggle. D.W. helps Bud.''

Brain+Bud: (strain)

Bud: Let go of my pickaxe!

D.W.: Hgn! That was pretty sneaky of you, hiding the egg in your own head.

Brain: Hgn! It's not in my head. It's in the yard somewhere.

They fall into a fold in the brain.

Brain+Bud+D.W.: (scream)

''They fall out of a tube into a room that looks like a library. An anthropomorphic hippopotamus sits at a desk.''

Brain+Bud+D.W.: Oof.

Brain: Great. Now we're stuck inside my brain.

D.W.: Let's ask that hippo if she knows where the egg is.

Mrs. Hippo: Hello! Welcome to Brain's brain. How may I help you?

Brain: I must confess, I'm a little disappointed. I thought the inside of my brain would be bigger.

Mrs. Hipppo: Oh, it is! Ha! You're just in the tiny area here called the hippocampus within the temporal lobe.

She rolls out a map of the brain.

Mrs. Hipppo: See? The brain is made up of tons of sections which all do separate things but also work together to produce movement, thoughts, feelings. It's a wonderful place to work. Although I haven't had a vacation in nine years.

Bud: This is really interesting but we're kind of in a rush.

D.W.: We're in the middle of an egg hunt and he can't remember where he put the last one.

Mrs. Hippo: Well, memory is a very tricky thing. We do store a lot of memories here. But in order to retrieve the memories you'll have to visit other parts of the brain. Oh, I better get you a guide.

She uses a microphone on her desk.

Mrs. Hipppo: Pavel. Report to the hippocampus, please. You have a tour waiting.

A nonanthropomorphic bat with a bow tie and a human hairdo flies out of the tube.

Pavel: Hello, I am Pavel, tour guide bat from Czech Republic.

Brain: What on Earth is a Czech bat doing in my brain?

Bud: Just means you're getting batty.

Pavel: Okay, now we go. Please keep hands at sides while moving through the blood vessels.

A hole opens in the ground and Pavel and the kids fall down.

Brain+Bud+D.W.: Augh!

''A map of the brain shows a green dot moving to the brain stem. Pavel and the kids come out of a tube into a room that looks like a factory.''

Pavel: We are now in brain stem. Very important part of brain which controls body functions like heartbeat and breathing. And movements in eyes and face.

Pavel lands on a dashboard.

Bud: So what would happen if I pressed these?

He presses a few buttons and Brain’s face starts contorting into weird shapes.

Bud+D.W.: (giggle)

Brain: Hey, cut it out! Quit making my face move.

Pavel: Okay. Now we go to frontal lobe. Very advanced part of brain.

Pavel and the kids are sucked upwards.

''The green dot on the map moves to the frontal lobe. Pavel and the kids come out of an elevator into a control room where copies of Brain are working on computers. They are only half Brain’s size.''

Pavel: This is part of brain where thinking is happening and decisions are made.

Small Brain 1: I'm getting a message from the pleasure center. Brain wants to go downstairs and eat a cookie. Issuing command.

Small Brain 2: Wait, I just got a signal that Brain thinks maybe he should wait till after dinner.

Small Brain 1: But he also wants that cookie. I'm issuing the command.

Small Brain 2: No, don't! It's just empty calories.

Small Brain 1: Let go. He needs that cookie now.

D.W.: Look at them. They're like the Tibbles. Stop fighting and look for the egg!

Bud: Can we go straight to the place for memories? I got to get home soon.

''Bud and D.W. run to the elevator. The two small Brains are still struggling.''

Small Brain 1+2: (Take that! Ooh! Ah!)

Brain separates them.

Brain: He wins. Give Brain the cookie.

''The green dot on the map moves to the temporal lobe. Pavel and the kids walk down a corridor with pictures of Brain on the wall.''

Pavel: Now we're back in temporal lobe. But different area from hippocampus. This area of brain has many long-term memories.

They pass a picture of Brain hitting a baseball.

Brain: I remember that. That was when I hit the winning run against Mighty Mountain last year.

''They pass another picture of Brain holding a feather. Brain pushes the little kids on.''

Brain: Oh, yeah. And that was from my superstitious phase. Let's move on.

Next is a picture of Brain’s story from the episode “The Contest” on which Brain looks like Dexter from “Dexter’s Laboratory”.

Brain: Huh? When did that happen?

''Buster stands in front a picture showing Brain with the bowl of eggs. A small Brain stands on a ladder and paints the sky.''

Bud: Hey, I think I found something. The egg!

D.W.: Quick, paint the next panel. We have to see where he put them.

Bud: I'll help.

Bud: No! This is memory from today. The paint is still wet. It is very dangerous to tamper with it.

''Bud climbs on the ladder. The small Brain looks shocked.''

Brain: Stop! You're going to damage something.

Bud: Augh!

The ladder falls over and paint sprays on Brain.

''The fantasy ends. Brain wakes up on the floor in his room. He sits up and sees D.W. and Bud searching his room. Bud notices that Brain is awake and taps D.W. on the shoulder.''

D.W.: Um... We were just looking for the bathroom.

Bud: …kitchen.

Brain rolls his eyes.

Brain stands in the garden with Bud and D.W.

Brain: I'm sorry but I still don't remember where I put Pierre Paul Broca. All I remember is this crazy dream with a Czech bat and... Wait a minute. My brain was trying to tell me, check the bat house.

''He runs to a bat house on the side of a tree and pulls out the egg. ''

Brain: That's amazing.

D.W.: Great. So, it's still a tie.

Brain: You two can share the prize. It's a two-volume set of Sir Isaac Newton's ‘Arithmetica Universalis’. It's a great read.

Bud and D.W. give him stern looks.

Brain: Hm. Now, where did I put it?

Arthur and Buster stand in Buster’s room just as in the introduction.

Arthur: Hey, welcome back.

Buster: Did you remember the five strange objects? They were...

The objects appear out of thin air when they are mentioned.

Arthur: A flying banana.

Buster: A sombrero.

Arthur: A chicken.

Buster: A rake.

Brain comes out of the closet with the umbrella and a cookie.

Brain: And an umbrella. How many did you get right? Aren't brains amazing?

''He starts eating the cookie. Arthur pats his shoulder.''

Arthur: Both kinds.